The feelings that come up when you read or watch someone you so readily admire and relate to, are really interesting. I realize today that my female heroes are women who so honestly depict their experience, they consequently mirror my own experiences. I’ve started reading Simone de Beauvoir’s memoirs; she writes about her emotional experiences growing older, self discovery, and her relationship to her family and the world around her. Literally every page, my mouth is hanging open with astonishment at her ability to so profoundly write about the cognitive development and experience of growing up female. She is amazing at depicting the anxiety, enjoyment, and disappointment of existing and changing at the same time. As an academic, I feel her experiences so greatly mirror mine, that it is almost like reading a play about my emotional life. I never want the book to end, because the satisfaction I get from reading about another woman with the same experience is amazing.
I also just finished an episode of Girls, and I am so overwhelmed with appreciation for Lena Dunham to have created a show that so honestly depicts the weirdness of being in your 20′s, of all the mistakes, and the often contradictory life experiences that occur in lieu of one’s moral self. I read somewhere that some feminists (which is a title I stand by) are commenting on how in the last episode, all the women used sex to gain power, however I didn’t see that (only after reading their comments did I slightly see).
I think so often people try to analyze or claim meaning to an experience or show or book within the context of some absolute essentialist manner, “this is not feminist because… ” “All the women are using sex because, ” rather than commenting on the fact that maybe this is an actual account into the often muddy grey zone young women find themselves in. We can’t always keep our guard up, eagerly playing out the moral code of feminism, or some religion, or at least political correctness. Women and life are much more complex then that, and the second we try to essentialize the experience, we lose the point. To me it seems counter-feminist to minimize this show to “unfeminist rhetoric,” and by doing so we lose sight of the fact that this show is commenting on some women’s lives in a real way.
In any case, I am so thankful for de Beauvoir and Denham for gracing this earth with a raw account of the emotional, mental, and moral roller coster that is female.
Are You Serious?: Games for Girls Still About Cooking, Shopping and Snagging a Man
Women in the tech field are few and far between. That’s why I was excited when I came across an article titled “Half of Tween Girls Are Online Gamers” while perusing the Mashable archives today. Since I’m a woman working in the tech field alongside Ballpoint CEO, Susan Leigh Babcock, I excitedly clicked to learn about this new generation of lady techies. Ultimately, I was saddened by what I found.
According to a new report, “50% of tween girls between the ages of 8 and 12 are turning to the Internet for entertainment and social gaming.” I was excited about this. I don’t really care about how many girls are gamers, I care about the fact that girls are just as familiar with technology — one of tomorrow’s biggest fields — as their y-chromosome toting counterparts. So, this seemed to be excellent news. Then I kept reading.
The report came from GirlsgoGames.com. A gaming site that’s made just for little girls. How wonderful, our gender informs the games we can play! (Insert sarcasm here.) Go to their website and you’ll immediately see that EVERYTHING is wrong. Apparently, girls of the millennial generation (AKA generation next) are still supposed to grow up to be trophy wives, cupcake bakers, and Suzy homemakers. Let me just say that all of those professions are fine in my book! You want to be a trophy wife? That’s your prerogative, sweetheart.
My issue is that we’re pushing these professions on our girls. By showing them *only* stereotypically feminine choices, aren’t we limiting their options? Aren’t these stupid games, with taglines like “When it comes to cakes, Sandy is in a league of her own.” or “Charm your way into these hunks’ hearts. May the best flirt win.”, embedding these notions into a new generation of women?
Although I’m not in favor of these girl or boy-only gaming sites, why can’t the games they feature be a little more substantial? For instance, I love animals so I’m totally in favor of keeping the cutesy animal games. But, why can’t they revolve around the notion that girls can grow up to be veterinarians who take care of these animals? An animal hospital game would be so much fun! It would accomplish the same thing, but would concurrently give little girls something to aspire to.
I’m just saying that my ability to decorate donuts, apply eyeliner, or flirt with hunks didn’t get me through college. And those things certainly didn’t get me a job in one of the worst job markets ever for recent graduates.
Parents, game developers, and little girls of the world, we can do better.
*Written by me, Kelley Lane, and originally posted here*