Its not my thing, but you're always going to have people who feel that any "kink" that they don't have is wrong and take the shortest possible route to "prove" it.

These are the same morons who think furries are into bestiality (not a furry, either but I support the right of furries to exist so I can make fun of them).

Particularly because you are NOT in Japan, and because you appear to be someone aware of the issues involved in appearing that way, I fail to see what the matter is. Anything "wrong" lies in the eyes of the beholder, as if some pedophile considers your clothes an invitation.

My 69 year old mother tells me to reserve wearing kimono (which simply means "clothes" in the Japanese language) for "special occasions" because she is afraid of me looking like a Japanese "sensei" (in this case, local Buddhist reverends in semi-formal dress) in public. I tell her I get them (actual used kimono worn by common Japanese, not cosplay) for $20 on eBay. She believes I try to stand out, and that will bring unwanted kinds of attention, as in people who will vandalize my property, or assault or rob me thinking I am showy, or gay, or rich.

I don't know, personally I rather like some of the lolita fashion, and during my time spent in Japan I frequently went to some of the gothic/lolita shops in Harajuku.

But I guess I can see what you're saying...

I suppose with a lot of the things I liked though, it was on the less childish end of the spectrum. In any case, I do still like the fashion.

I think what you should do is figure out why you are dressing that way. It goes this way for anything. Are you dressing like it because you want to portray a certain image of yourself? Are you because you find the clothes visually appealing? Are you dressing like that because there's a lot of hype around the style? Why are you consuming these items? Do you REALLY like how they look, or do you like the IMAGE they give off? Forget about any associations anyone has about any sort of style or personality traits associated with the clothes and I think you can find your own answer. It doesn't matter if other people have certain associations with what you're wearing, they're making judgments based on opinions and cultural influences rather than fact. I completely agree with "A male". "Anything "wrong" lies in the eyes of the beholder, as if some pedophile considers your clothes an invitation."

i love japanese street fashion and i'm a firm believer in "dress how YOU want to dress and fuck everyone else." i realized a long time ago that i can't agonize over every fashion and beauty choice for fear of being anti-feminist. in other words, pick your battles.

for the record, i don't think that most people who see you all dressed up like that are going to think you have some weird sexual kink or need to be infantilized. my experience is that it's more "kids these days! they're so strange!"

Funny, I was just thinking about writing something up for this site on being a frilly feminist.

I don't feel infantalized when I dress in Lolita. I feel feminine and confident. I get the usual "OMG WTF" comments and stares when I go out dressed up, but I don't really mind. I dress in Lolita because I love it, it's not about what other people think.

"dress how YOU want to dress and fuck everyone else."

Yes, but it's our mothers.

Nettle, haven't you seen Kamikaze Girls? Lolita is all about Rococo. And it's not (really) about infantilization--it's about looking cute. Goth-loli fashion also includes corsets. It's kind of an odd hybrid, pigtails, corsets, stockings, and platform Mary Janes, all of it covered in lace. I'd still compare it more directly to French-maid costumes though.

'Lolita is all about Rococo. And it's not (really) about infantilization--it's about looking cute. Goth-loli fashion also includes corsets. It's kind of an odd hybrid, pigtails, corsets, stockings, and platform Mary Janes, all of it covered in lace. I'd still compare it more directly to French-maid costumes though.'

I know, I'm just thinking how others will interpret it. That was kind of my question, what is the line between cute and infantilised? Do others know the difference? This is a great article which highlights some of that and was kind of my inspiration for this post: http://www.kinsellaresearch.com/Cuties.html

Thanks for all these comments, everyone. I've always wondered how others feel about it...

Oh, a post on Lolita fashion, I have to join!

I, too, have a fondness for Lolita fashion, specifically Gothic Lolita.

From my excessive ogling over the past few years, I definitely see more of the cute, as most online descriptions of Lolita will say. Infantile, not so much. Perhaps, I don't see the infantilization (is that even a word?), because most of the media representation that I've seen (thinking here about manga and certain Visual Kei acts, like Malice Mizer). Even though there are certain aristocratic elements and mannerisms to it, there is something dark about it, especially in Goth-loli. If I were to actually see a group of children in Goth-loli like attire, I don't think my first thought would be "oh, they are so damn cute and innocent." It would be "whoa, Children of the Corn, Victoria-Era style."

I think that as the style crosses over and becomes more popular, it definitely will become more sexualized, as other subcultures have (such as Goth/Punk/Metal = now we have Suicide-Girls, etc).