Why was my family not contacted after she attempted suicide?

I'm pretty sure the fact you attempted suicide constitutes part of your medical history, and so isn't something they can just go blabbing off about. You may be on good terms with your family, but not everyone is, and the Air Force would be opening themselves up to privacy lawsuits if they took that for granted.

As a vet and a human being I urge you to please report this to civilian media outlets. Document every name of your chain of command as well as the medical personnel and your attacker.

PBS has done reporting on this so they might be a good place to start with contacting the media. Don't allow your CO to intimidate you, there is nothing these scum fear more than media attention.

http://www.pbs.org/now/shows/421/index.html

CBS news has also reported on this issue:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/12/07/national/main659704.shtml

I would suggest contacting as many news agencies as you can about this.

Finally here is the military rape crisis center:

http://stopmilitaryrape.org/

Good luck, be strong. Don't take it out on yourself, focus it outward on the people who did/are doing this to you.

First of all, I want to thank you for your service.

Secondly, you will find much compassion, sympathy, and empathy here. The people here understand your feelings, and if we haven't been in your specific circumstances, many of us have been through similarly traumatic events.

What that man did to you was not your fault. There is NOTHING that you could have done or ever will do that would cause you to "deserve" what happened to you. And it did happen. Your feelings about this are valid -- every one of them.

I must tell you though, that you are stronger than death. You will live through the pain, and you will become stronger for it. It may take time, but I can promise you that one day you won't feel the way you do now. Please hang in there, I recognize your pain and will sit with you in it; and I am not the only person who will.

Brimke3118,

I am so terribly sorry that you went through all of this and that the Air Force let you down. My thoughts are with you--innernet hugs! I am ex-military myself, so I know how wrong things can go.

In 1996, a former Air Force Academy cadet won a federal lawsuit against the academy for sexual harassment. The case was Saum v. Widnall, 912 F. Supp. 1384, 1394 (D. Colo. 1996). The attorney who handled the case was Doris Besikof. According to articles I have located on google, she has represented a number of women in the military, even though she is semi-retired as a lawyer. I do not know this woman, but I think you may want to try contacting her. (Her contact info. is available on google.) Even if she cannot help you, maybe she will know someone who can.

Please keep the community posted!

Love, Ismone

I'm active duty in the Air Force and this situation is messed up. Honestly, the Air Force mishandled everything very badly. First off they were supposed to have given you help from SARC(for those who don't know SARC is the Rape Crisis Center for AF personnel. They have trained rape survivor counselors) and mental health. After your suicide attempt(btw, my heart literally ached for you after reading this), they were wrong for referring you to ADAPT. The attempt should have been a huge clue that you needed more help from mental health especially considering what you went through. The biggest flaw that the military has in my opinion is that there is a lack of serious follow up regarding cases that need mental health's help. As someone who wants to one day work in the AF mental health field, I find what they did to you not only unethical but also immoral. I wish you luck and hope you go after them.

First of all, I am so sorry for what happened to you. I completely agree with Rachel's post...it is not your fault and everything you are feeling is completely valid. The Air Force definitely has mistreated you and, like the other posters, I hope you find a way to bring the situation to justice.

My boyfriend is a cadet at the Air Force Academy and he continually tells me that the AF is the one branch of the military that really takes care of its people--servicemen & women and their families. If they're so big on family, the should have allowed you to go home or at least asked, given you the option. I feel that the Air Force has enough experience dealing with sexual assault that the officers at Osan should have handled your situation with more care and made your mental health, not your job, the first priority.

My boyfriend was actually just got back from Osan about a month ago. It's terrible to think that cadets can go over there and have a great time but that you were there at the same time suffering because of what one of your superiors did to you. I strongly encourage you to get your story heard by as many people and media sources as possible. Also, I hope you know that you have a great number of people behind you on this--many of the posters on feministing. Most importantly, though, take care of yourself.

I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of this. I'm Canadian and I've noticed that many Canadians often look down upon the U.S miltary's administration (not people like yourself, but people higher up who make the decisions that screw people over like this and cut off opportunities for counselling and assistance), and on many levels I understand this, but when it comes to these issues I don't.

I'm not old enough to be in the Canadian Forces but I spent 3 years with the Canadian Cadet Movement before "quitting", aka being forced out, after a sexual assault incident involving a civilian while I was participating in a mandatory cadet activity and my CO and Unit Human Rights Advisor did nothing to remove me from the kind of situation where it could happen again, even after I notified them that similar situations - though not to the same extent of the sexual assault - had happened before. I found that through all the various outlets in which I tried to receive some answers or help from within the Cadet Movement (which is a part of the Department of National Defense) there was none offered or suggested by my Squadron, even when I asked. It was not until a year and a half later, once I had left the organization (an organization I'd dedicated hundreds of hours to and a lot of passion and commitment) that I found out that the CCM does have a hotline for such issues. I think often militaries are about keeping the military's name and reputation clean and if this means sacrificing the reputation, health and safety of an individual under their charge, then so be it.

It's awful though how we can commit so much of our lives to the military/similar organization and be required to provide them with anything they need from us but as soon as we need something in return all the doors are shut.

Once again, I'm so sorry you had to endure all this. You're not alone though, everyone's experience is different but the mass experience of a lack of support seems to be pretty similar across the board, and this is why it's important that stories are shared. As all the other people who commented said, I think it's really important that you get your story heard by as many people as possible.

Take care of yourself and never feel like you owe anything to the AF or that doing anything to get your voice heard about this issue is going "too far".

I'm so sorry, you went through such a horrible experiance. *Big virtual hugs* You're not alone.

If you're intrested in non-military counciling millitary one source offers telephonic counciling for overseas millitary with civilian councilers for free or in person if you're in the states (www.militaryonesource.com) I think the AF screwed you over, but don't let that stop you from getting help.

brimke3118, Email me, info@servicewomen.org address it to Jen, if you would like to get in contact with Ann. She is working heavily on this issue as are many other concerned women and men. You aren't alone in this struggle.

From Ann Wright:

Suddenly today, we saw listed for the first time, a congressional hearing on the effectiveness of DOD programs on sexual assault. Here is the email I sent to the staff person on the Foreign Affairs committee of the OVersight committee.

If there are any questions you would like the Congress to ask DOD about their policies, please send them to Mark Lavin mark.lavin@mail.house.gov and info me if you would.

Please pass this email around to all women (and men) who might have comments about the effectiveness of the programs.

Thanks.

Ann Wright

This kind of story really upsets me.

I was active duty AF for six years (1997-2003), and I delt with sexual harassment almost on a daily basis. While I was never actually raped or assaulted, there were instances where it came very, very close to being. The message that was conveyed to me almost immediately was that if you talked, you were going to be the one ostracized from the AF community/career field--not the guy who did the assaulting/raping. Honestly, it was sincerely only a matter of luck that I wasn't actually assaulted, as I knew many female coworkers who actually were raped or assaulted during their time in my career field (not surprisingly a male-dominated field that had quite the misogynist catch-phrase that they used to identify themselves when at the bar/work/parties/etc).

I am so unbelievably sorry that this happened to you. It angers me that after all you did to try and make sure your attacker received justice, it was not served in the least. Please act on the advice of the other posters here and try to make contact w/news sources/lawyers/whomever that will take up your cause. It's long overdue for all women in the armed forces to get equal treatment and serious investigative attention when it comes to sexual assault in the military.

The sexual assault against you was wrong. The verdict from the trial was also wrong. But the biggest wrong of all was your attempt at suicide. I cannot get myself to respect someone who commits murder, including that of himself/ herself.

Fight back. All of us face little injustices each day. Those of us who fight back survive and thrive, and those of us who don't are trampled on inrecognito. Your's was just a much more extreme form of injustive. But its no puzzle either way. Fight back. And when you get the justice due to you, you can move on knowing you can face almost any other challenge life throws at you.

You are WAY out of line, brrrk. Even if you happen to believe that suicide is wrong, sharing this sentiment with someone who is under as much stress as brimke is is NOT HELPFUL.

Perhaps call a suicide hotline. Ask them if telling someone who attempted suicide that you thought their attempt was worse than rape is constructive. Ask whether it would be more or less likely to feed into the negativity that made them try in the first place.

To brimke, please take care of yourself and give us an update when you have the opportunity. And don't listen to him/her. I understand why you did what you did, but, please, please, please, if you feel that kind of stress and isolation, reach out to someone. Jen has given you her email, several posters have given you websites or hotlines, and here's my email too. Ismonie@gmail.com. You are in my thoughts.

I know MANY women who have attempted suicide in relation to a military related rape. You are not the only one and have the respect more people than you know for having the strength to keep going in the face of injustice. You are brave and a shero, don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise.

http://servicewomen.org/resources.shtml

Please contact us at vetwow.com, and we can help you sort this out, and make the choices that are right for you. We provide support, information and help with claims, for veterans and active duty separation for victims of MST (military sexual trauma). Our community is nationwide with hundreds of women who have been through this and are willing to give you their best advice, so you can make your best choice.

If you have any questions, please contact me directly at smith715 at comcast.net Susan

brrrk: So you don't believe that people have the right to choose for themselves if they want to go on living? Other people get to make that choice for them?

Brinke3118,
Sadly, I am not at all surprised by your post and my heart goes out to you. I served in the US Army for three years and also served in Korea for a year. I was stationed at Camp Humphreys and have been to Osan many times.
By best advice to you is to contact your congressional representative's office with your story. I can tell you from experience that your unit can become surprisingly efficient when properly motivated. My other recommendation is to meet with each member of your chain of command, in order from the lowest to the highest until the situation is statisfactorily resolved. Keep notes from these meetings and ask for everything in writing.
I wish you all the best.

I'm still waiting to hear something. I have been in Korea for over a year now, and i'm sick of it. You would think they would hurry the process up since I was suppose to leave this coming Friday. After all I've been through i STILL haven't seen my family. And on top of that I found out I was pregnant. They just need to get me out of here. I'm starting to give up hope...

Kelly,

My thoughts are with you. Please keep us posted. And if you need help, I really recommend contacting that attorney I mentioned, Doris Besikof. There are a lot of people on your side here. I will help in any way I can. Unfortunately, my current job prevents me from taking clients.

Ismone

Well, I have an appointment to see the Wing Commander today....i'm pretty nervous, but hopefully I will have an update on my situation. I'll let you guys know what's going on when I hear something. Thanks for all the support.

That's fantastic. Hopefully s/he can help you out. Stay strong!