There is a documentary called "Guys & Dolls" about four men who live with "Real Dolls", and it's really very sad; not "sad" in a condescending way, but "sad" as in it must really be horrible to feel that isolated from other people. The men in the film really comprise a pretty wide range of what kind of person a man can be. They are not all just nerdy stereotypes, one guy is a pretty active and charming guy who hang-glides and stuff.

This film really took apart a lot of my preconceptions about the absolute nature of this kind of relationship. The relationship these fellas have with their dolls are not absolutely sexual, but really have a lot to do with companionship.

Most of them own more than one doll, which kind of seemed weird to me while I was still clinging to the notion that it was all about sex (it seemed kind of "Warren Jeffs" to me at that point), but in retrospect I think it was just that they wanted to emulate the myriad of "real" relationships they feel most people have with other flesh and blood humans.

Here is a link to a page about the doc:
http://www.thedocumentaryblog.com/index.php/2007/11/07/guys-and-dolls-documentary-looks-at-real-dolls-and-those-who-love-them/

Uh, spoilers I suppose, but I'm glad you posted about this - I've been wanting to talk about this movie for a long time! I feel pretty intensely about it, but I swear I'm up for discussion - most of the other people I've discussed this movie don't describe themselves as feminists and think I'm thinking about this too much. But screw them! Let's talk.

When I saw Lars and the Real Girl I was horrified. The movie makes such an incredible effort to normalize Lars's relationship with the doll, to say that he is not really that "crazy" or at fault, yet never really addresses the horrifying implications of how he creates Bianca. Her identity is totally under his control, and the women he creates is utterly helpless - A disabled immigrant with an illness and poor English skills? This is the kind of relationship that "heals" him?

The movie wants to have it both ways - she's real but she isn't, so it's supposed to be heartwarming when they show her "about town" (She's just like a real person!), and sad but ultimately alright when he drowns her in the lake (She's not real, so it's okay!). Bianca fulfills her purpose for Lars and he discards her, as he is apparently now ready for a "real relationship" with the co-worker who's pined for him the whole movie. The movie never addresses Lars's attitude towards women, although I've realized (It's been a while since I've watched this) that it wouldn't because it isn't a movie about women. It's a classic "This dude needs some healing" movie, but without even a flesh and blood actress as the soothing prop.

So, I was really excited to see a review of a film I've been wanting to see for a while...and then you had to go spoil the ending in the first two sentences. Uncool :-(

Well, the spoiler alert is the first sentence, so...

I am so sorry for ruining the movie for anyone who read this!

Elainenator - I know that there are many issues with this film that a feminist critic would go wild over. I must admit that when I watched the film, I think the little feminist in my head fell asleep. You make some very excellent points about the film that I had not previously considered. So, thank you much for offering an alternative perspective!

I'm curious as to why this turned into a "this guy needs to heal" flick when there were so many other avenues that could have properly discussed the real dolls and the men who buy them. I did appreciate that Lars didn't 'use' her for sex, but the fact that he had complete control over her life is troubling. Why did a delusional character purchase the doll? They altered the movie from discussing the dolls to discussing individuals with delusional disorders.

What were your thoughts?