After reading this community post about a young woman being fed anti-woman lies about sexuality, I remembered a time when I was judged by a doctor for being sexually active.
About five years ago, I decided that I did not wish to have any more children and I went on a waiting list to get a tubal ligation. I will start off by saying that my medical care in the hospital was excellent and they did a great job of easing my concerns and worries about having surgery. The ugly part of my surgery experience occurred a few days later when I developed a post-operative infection.
The symptoms of the infection were very similar to symptoms of a sexually transmitted infection. However, I knew that it could not have been an STI because I hadn't had sex in several months and I got tested for everything before I had the surgery. So I told the doctor that I had a minor infection from the surgery and I asked what should be done to treat it. The doctor told me that that was very unlikely and that I had to have a sexually transmitted infection. I explained the situation but he insisted. Do most STI's result in oozing from your belly button? I don't think so. I demanded that he see me and he treat my problem. If he had insisted on being a jerk about it, I would have went to another doctor and did some complaining but he did see me.
He sent me a very polite apology letter and admitted that I was right and that I did get a post-operative infection. I was mollified by this letter and told my friends that I guess some doctors are all right after all. I had some horrible experiences with rude, entitled, jerky doctors treating me like a piece of meat and this seemed acceptable to me at the time.
Of course, after many years and giving this incident some thought, I realize that it's not OK. What business does anybody have passing judgment on me for having a sexually transmitted infection? How is this kind of judgmental garbage an acceptable way to treat a patient that needs your help? It isn't! If people know they are going to be judged and disrespected by their doctor, they are going to be that less likely to seek treatment. Sexuality is in the closet enough as it is without having to deal with this kind of crap.
Thanks for reading my rant. I have a feeling that this feministing community will result in many more of these kinds of stories seeing the light of day.
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TanyaD posted at July 23, 2008, at 02:29PM: "So I told the doctor that I had a minor infection from the surgery and I asked what should be done to treat it. The doctor told me that that was very unlikely and that I had to have a sexually transmitted infection. I explained the situation but he insisted. Do most STI's result in oozing from your belly button? I don't think so. I demanded that he see me and he treat my problem. If he had insisted on being a jerk about it, I would have went to another doctor and did some complaining but he did see me."
Sadly, I'm not surprised that happened what with some doctors thinking they're better than patients, some male doctors being even more arrogant towards female patients, etc.
TanyaD posted at July 23, 2008, at 02:29PM: "He sent me a very polite apology letter and admitted that I was right and that I did get a post-operative infection."
Now this part does surprise me!
TanyaD posted at July 23, 2008, at 02:29PM: "What business does anybody have passing judgment on me for having a sexually transmitted infection?"
Yeah, even if a doctor thinks your symptoms are of an STI and even if you do have an STI, that's no reason to be disrespectful about it!
I wish I had kept that letter!
A male gyno recently told me that I had HPV and he had only just glanced between my legs. I've only had sex with one partner, my shy, virgin boyfriend, and the problems in my vulva had started before our first intercourse.
The doctor has no idea what's wrong with me as I came up negative for HPV, and right now signs are pointing to me having a rash. A simple, regular ol' rash, not genital warts.