Reading this post was eerie since I've been going through virtually the same thing with my birth control over the past 2 years. A year ago, I was on Depo Provera which completely destroyed my (previously very high) sex drive, screwed up my period, and prevented me from getting wet at all. It was really hard for me to understand what was going on or come to terms with it, and for a while I blamed it on stress. I was terrified that I would be stuck not enjoying sex forever (or at least, for the rest of my current relationship) and it was difficult to explain to my boyfriend what was going on with my body.

After about four months, I figured that it was the birth control (with little help from my OB/GYN, since she had never heard of birth control preventing lubrication) and decided to stop taking it. The worst part was, because Depo Provera is an injection that lasts about 3 months after each injection, I had to wait a while for the hormones to get out of my system. A year and a half after my last injection, my sex drive is still not what it was (although, that might be because I've been with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years now), and my period is finally regular again. I think in your case, you'll have a quicker time getting back to normal since birth control pills don't last as long in your system.

As for your situation, I've noticed that when I'm not aroused while we're having sex, my boyfriend's penis hits my cervix (ouch). This might have more to do with birth control affecting your sex drive/lubrication, instead of affecting your cervix. While your sex drive is recovering, the one thing I really suggest is that you don't feel pressured to have sex. I've been there, and even though my boyfriend is very supportive, I still felt pressured to have sex whenever he suggested it. I realized after a while that I have the right to have sex only when I'm fully in the mood and can fully enjoy it. I also have found lube (Astroglide especially) to be absolutely essential for sex.

I'm glad you're enjoying your period! Isn't it a wonderful to get it back after so long?

The "Yaz" pill, just looking at the website quickly, shows you only take the placebo 4 days in a row instead of 7...that could definitely have something to do with missing periods, your body doesn't drop the hormone levels that quickly (in fact the manufacturers site says this pill "keeps your hormones level") - you need that drop in hormones (specifically progesterone) to start your period, so maybe a different type of pill would work better for your body.

That being said, good for you for experimenting with what it feels like to be on and off the pill. I noticed very similar lack of sex drive side effects and once I went off the pill my sex drive shot back up to its regular high and happy levels.

It's all too tempting just to keep taking the pill because it's an easy solution (and it does work quite well for a lot of women) but if it's causing you to have a diminished sex drive there are lots of other methods of preventing pregnancy that aren't hormonal...and it's fun to try them out with your partner too (thinking of condoms, female condoms, etc)

This is a very very common side effect from what I've heard (both through research and friend's experience). It's not surprising, as the pill suppresses testosterone, thought to contribute highly to sexual functioning.

You also might want to consider getting a new doctor. I requested to go on the pill the first time when I was 24, and it was a miserable experience. I recently started up again, with the major difference being that this time I knew which concerns to bring up with my (new) doctor. It helped so much that she was receptive to my concerns. We had some frank conversations about what I needed, and I feel free to call her up any time with additional questions. I can't tell you what a difference it makes, having a doctor who will actually *talk* with you!

Oh my god. Thank you thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou. I've had an awful day and been crying and now I know why!!
I went on Yasmin when I was 17 (I am now 22) and did very well with it. My period became regular and my skin got better. When I went to the gynecologist for my last annual exam, I told her that I was happy with the Yasmin and would like to continue with it. She told me that the new pill. Yas, was supposed to be a lot better. She even gave me three or four sample packs right there.
Since I went on Yas, my sex drive has diminished (we have gone from twice a day to every other week), my boobs get swell longer and are more tender before my period, and I've been crying a lot and not sure why. I love my boyfriend and after two years of dating, I'm still really attracted to him. But when we have sex, it has been painful and I can't really get aroused. Last night, we were about to do it (ha ha) and the problem was worse than ever. I wasn't wet or open or anything. I told him it wasn't working and he said 'just relax' and then he really got the point and rolled over, took off the condom, and kissed me goodnight.
I have spent all day worrying that I was having a rape flashback (after four and a half years since the assault, I never have flashbacks) and that I would have to quit my counseling job because I was not emotionally okay to work with rape victims.
So glad to know that I just need to find a different birth control or go off of it completely because THAT was the cause of the problem. I'm not depressed, I'm not experiencing flashbacks, I'm not confused about my sexual identity, I don't have sexual dysfunction. THANK YOU. Words cannot express how grateful I am right now.

ToriW

I'm glad I'm not the only one that's been experiencing this problem. In fact, I've been doing a little research, and a *lot* of women have this problem. In one study, they gave female monkeys birth control. The female monkeys weren't interested in sex at all and completely ignored the males. Interesting, isn't it?

I was also terrified I would never again enjoy sex. I'm still scared, as a lot of women that I've talked to about this now, and studies have shown, that for some women, their libido never quite does "bounce back". I hope that I (& you) are lucky enough to have ours back. Mine has improved quite a bit, but it's still just not the same. My boyfriend didn't understand either. He's still having a hard time with it.

Ahh, that could be the reason he's hitting my cervix! God, that hurts like hell. It makes a lot more sense now, too. I have the same situation. My boyfriend is very supportive, but I still feel pressured into it also. When we're having sex, if he feels any hesitation from me, or that he's hurting me/I'm not enjoying it, he stops. He's very, very new to the whole idea of Feminism (as I've only recently got into it myself), and it's taking him a while, but he has always respected me. If he feels I don't want to have sex, but am doing it out of... well, obligation, he'll drop the subject and just cuddle.

And YES, I'm so much ENJOYING the PMS and cramping and everything! Never thought I'd say that :]

Louisa

I'm so glad I could help you! I completely understand where you're coming from. Yaz has possibly been the worst drug I have ever taken. Not only does it cause the aforementioned, but breast tenderness, headaches that normal painkillers can't touch, problems with vision/contacts/dry eyes, headaches behind the eyeballs, symptoms of depression, and thinning/loss of hair. I'm only now starting to link a lot of my problems to this drug. I've had a lot of anxiety/depression problems in my life, and so I blamed a lot of it on that. Now that I'm off the pill, I realize what the real culprit was.

I don't understand why doctors are even prescribing Yaz to most patients. It's specifically for women with PMDD, and most of the people I've talked to that are on Yaz don't even know what the hell PMDD is, but they're taking medicine for it. It just isn't right.

I am so very happy for you that you've realized why this is happening to you. I hope that you get better and everything levels back out. It's not right that nobody has warned any of us taking this pill that this is what it could do to us. If you were doing good on Yasmin, I would say to just go back to that.

I'm so glad I could help you. It wasn't until another woman talked of her problems that I recognized they were mine as well. I feel so lucky to have helped you in such a way! I'm also very happy that you seem to have recovered from your rape well. I hope it continues that way!

OMG, these posts about birth control couldn't have come at a better time. I've been on it for almost three years now, and I guess I never connected the dots that my birth control may be the cause of my lack of libido. I too am a sexual person, but I haven't been able to bring it out when I need or want. It's causing a riff in my relationship.

But going off of it makes me a little nervous; I don't fully trust condoms to prevent pregnancy (I've had enough tear on me to have this fear). Do they still make diaphragms? What would you all recommend? (I doubt an IUD is available to me because I haven't had babies yet).

hairgrrl - I'm so, so, so glad that my post was helpful to you, and that you're beginning to see the connections between BC and symptoms that doctors don't bother to tell you about.

As far as the cervix thing goes - when you're aroused, muscles engage that lift the uterus slightly to make more room for penetration; these muscles relax automatically after orgasm, or when a state of arousal has passed (it's also possible to experience the girl-version of "blue balls" - a cramping sensation from prolonged arousal. Cool!) So yeah, if BC is preventing you from becoming aroused during sex, then your uterus/cervix isn't lifting out of the way, your vaginal canal is shorter and his penis can sort of jam against it in an uncomfortable or painful way.

LolaLola - IUDs aren't just available to women who are post-childbirth; a conversation about IUDs and diaphragms actually developed in the comments section of my post, My Birth-Controlled Life, which hairgrrl linked to in her post here.

I'm so glad these conversations are happening and women are recognizing their common experiences on birth control.

I was on yazmine, originally, and got in "trouble" for discontinuing it -- the ob/gyn dismissed my "i feel like I'm going insane" moments of panic attacks and crying. I ended up seeing one of her colleagues at the practice when I had an emergency appointment (period not stopping after a few weeks), and was met with a whole lot more understanding when explaining why I wasn't taking my med as prescribed - the bouts of heart palpitations while sitting down, etc. (not-strenuously working or something that would make sense), and got something without the extra hormones yazmine contains. :) Congrats on going off and feeling better!

Despite everything I know about sex, I didn't know that birth control was the reason I feel so dry. Unless it is a new partner and as a result I am really excited to get going, plus the make-out/foreplay is usually long, I am so dry. Either version of the condom makes it worse, so I started to question things. Now I can go back to being happy, healthy, and sexual. Although I am not giving up the NuvaRing anytime soon... I feel better that is not something that is "wrong with me".

When I starting taking Yaz, I hated it. I felt bipolar, I got insanely mad at everything, and my libido went WAY DOWN! I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one.
I am an extremely sexual person and it normally takes like 2 minutes to orgasm.
When I was on BC, it took me FOREVER to have an orgasm, sometimes I would just stop trying. And I was dry too.
I stopped taking birth control september of last year and I don't think I'll ever go on it again. I am extremely careful and I use condoms and pull-out every time and I have never gotten pregnant. Not that I recommend that method, but I am just NOT going to go on birth control anymore. I'm thankful for the privilege of being able to get BC if I want it, but I just don't plan on going on it again anytime soon.

This is so timely, and I can totally relate to it.

I ended up going to planned parenthood to get a new BC prescription (I decided NOT to go back to the doctor who had been doing my annuals...she hurt me last time and wasn't very easy to discuss things with). When I went, the PP doctor asked me what BC I'd been taking and for how long (generic ortho-cept for 2.5 yrs).

Then she asked if I was happy with it, and I said "yeah, no problems". Because really, I didn't think I had any symptoms related to the BC. But, this doctor went ahead and explained "okay, I just always ask because a lot of my patients report a decrease in libido with that particular brand."

I kind of paused and said "oh...well, that might be true." I hadn't really thought that about it in relation to the pill, but then I realized my sex drive *has* plummeted over time since starting it. But, I was kind of surprised by this and not completely sure, so I said "well, I mean, I dunno, I thought it was just because my boyfriend and I have been together for so long, but maybe..."

She just matter-of-factly said "well, sexuality and libido is complex, but if you want I can write you a prescription for microgestin and you can try it out." I asked how the different brand would make a difference in my libido, and she said that microgestin uses a different progesterone from my current one.

She could tell I was hesitant (not wanting to experience any possible side-effects from a new brand!) so she wrote me two prescriptions for the new one and my old one, that way I could keep the extra prescription on hand and go to the pharmacy to change back to my old brand if I didn't like the new brand. Hassle-free brand change? Definitely not offered by my old doctor!

Anyway, I've been on the new brand for about 3 weeks now, and I've already noticed a huge increase in my libido and ability to get wet. Yay!

"In one study, they gave female monkeys birth control. The female monkeys weren't interested in sex at all and completely ignored the males. Interesting, isn't it?"

Luckily, that makes it extra effective. Ba dum dum!

Seriously though, while it's great that people have this forum to figure out whether they're birth control could be a problem, everyone's body is different and we don't want to be too dismissive of any type of birth control. Yaz has made my life much, much better. For example, I can now walk up and down stairs before my period, without my huge, swollen, achy breasts feeling like they were going to rip of my body. I consider that a "plus."
It is good for people to experiment with different types of birth control and to find a doctor who will help them and keep them informed on exactly what is going into their body. Your doctor sounds great, Tofu.

hairgrrl (and others)- I'm so sorry you've had such problems with Yaz, and I'm glad you're finally sorting them out! I just wanted to mention one thing for you and everyone else that's had problems on Yaz: it really might be worth a try to look into a different, more traditional BC. From what I understand, BCs really do vary greatly, and it can take a few before you figure out exactly which one is right for you. After going through many different brands, I'm now on Yaz as it is the only low-dose that works for me. More important than that though, do your best to find a good doctor who listens to and respects you! If not for my awesome gyn, I probably would have given up (not suggesting that any of you are) on getting my issues sorted out a long time ago. I've found what works for me, and I hope everyone else here is lucky enough to do the same.

Kat and h*yaforchoice - I'm glad that Yaz has worked for you :] I really am. I've heard soo many horror stories about it that it's refreshing to hear about the good it has done.

I think one of the problems that many, many girls run into with Yaz is that it was originally created for women with PMDD. Well, doctors don't tell you that when they put you on it. If you take a normal woman who has no problems that could relate to PMDD, why would you put her on a pill for that medicine? It doesn't make sense to me. However, I am very happy for both of you that Yaz worked.

While at this point I'm very unsure of BC (hormone type at least) I'm not sure whether or not I'll check into any other types. I found out only after having all of these problems that many other women in my family experienced them as well. Ugh! Why can't we communicate more?!

I discussed the different forms of pills with my female doctor and when I asked her about its effects upon the libido, she was a bit unsure. I didnt go on it because I didnt want to risk a loss of sexual drive, or intensity of orgasms. After reading the recent posts I'm happy I skipped over it. I wonder if women who have accidental pregnancys do so because they omit taking the pill, because they want to feel sexually normal again. Overlooking or not caring about the pills negative effects is a sign of dismissing the importance of sexual pleasure for women. I cant imagine (from the above posts) being in a long-term sexual relationship with a man and not enjoying the sex. Its like the makers simply made the pill to make a woman a more convenient sex object for men. Now she wont get pregnant, even though she wont enjoy the sex. Its like literally simply making a woman a hole, that simply is supposed to be used for the others pleasure. What were the makers thinking?

BTW, there's now a generic version of Yasmin available now. It's called ocella.

h*yaforchoice commented at August 1, 2008 12:12 AM: "hairgrrl (and others)- I'm so sorry you've had such problems with Yaz, and I'm glad you're finally sorting them out! I just wanted to mention one thing for you and everyone else that's had problems on Yaz: it really might be worth a try to look into a different, more traditional BC."

Exactly!

Personally, I started with a high libido, went on traditional BCPs to treat PCOS, switched to Yasmin because the drospirenone in it is better for PCOS symptoms than traditional BCP ingredients, switched to ocella when that finally came out because I prefer generics, and still had a high libido the whole time (no one to have the sex I wanted with :( , but that's another story and anyway masturbation is still fun ;) ).

Now I wonder, why does it work for me and not for so many other women? Is it just that I have PCOS and someone else whose libido drops when she takes Yasmin or ocella doesn't have PCOS, or something else? Next time I see my doctor I'll ask her how to find out if anyone's doing a study on BCPs and libido and find out if I can join...