A former coworker of mine recently sent me an e-mail in which he tried to "explain" to me why feminism is a bad thing. He said that he had found a sound, logical argument that "debunks the myth that is feminism beyond a reasonable doubt."
The e-mail was really quite long, so rather than share the whole thing, I thought I'd share a few snippets and give my reaction:
*"Feminism has undermined traditional family values..." Hmm... All feminism did was say that there should be equality - women shouldn't be forced to get married and have children, and if they choose to do those things, the soul responsibility of caretaker and housekeeer shouldn't be placed on the woman's shoulders - there should be an equitable division of the responsibiliities.
*"From infancy, all of us are pounded by corporate propaganda- on TV, the radio, newspapers, and even (gasp!) the internet. At the same time, thanks to the haughty drumbeat of feminist ideologues screeching at us like fishwives from every possible electronic soapbox, we have been deprived of masculine values, family values, and religious values which could have balanced the seesaw of modern culture." Yes, we are bombarded with corporate propaganda. But that is the only thing in that statement that is correct. Why are stereotypically masculine values seen as more worthwhile than stereotypically feminine values? Why is is that men can't be sensitive, caring, empathetic, and nurturing without being less of a man? Why is it that a woman can't be strong, intelligent, independant and assertive without being "too masculine?" Don't tell me that "masculine values" have been stifled - they are put up on a pedestal and hailed as the epitome of efficiancy.
*"Feminists sold our heads to the corporations. They got jobs - so what? The trade-off was that our lives are now being bought and sold by impersonal, non-accountable, corporate behemoths. We have lost all sense of what a man is, what a family is, and what faith is. In other words, we have lost all sense of the meaning of life." Holy hell. How can one little paragraph be so riddled with atrocities? So, you can't be a "real man" if you believe in equality for women? If you are a feminist, you automatically lack "family values?" Whose family values? Yours? You can't have faith if you are a feminist? I am a Christian and a feminist...I must be an abomination. A fluke, right? I get really offended when people tell me that I am not a good Christian because of the things I believe. Because all this mudslinging about how feminism has caused the downfall of Western Civilization and all that bullshit doesn't seem very Christian to me.
*"Equality is meaningless. Not that feminism was ever really about equality. It was about women wanting more stuff." No, trust me, it was, and still is, about equality. We live in a society were being a woman is (still) less than desirable, displaying stereotypically feminine characteristics is (still) a sign of weakness, and if, god forbid, a woman dares not to be feminine enough, she is (still) some sort of freak.
*"Women are not oppressed. The notion that they are his laughable. Think about it: In this country, women have the right to vote, but are not required to register for Selective Service. That is to say, women have a say in government, but are not required to put their lives on the line to defend that government. It's power without responsibility, pure and simple. Democracy was 'reborn' in the modern age my men who were willing to fight yand die to wrestle ower away from kings and their corporations. But women gained power by what? Fighting a 'corageous' ideological struggle." Women had to FIGHT for the right to vote. We had to FIGHT for a say in government. We, for the longest time, weren't ALLOWED in the military. Women ARE fighting for equal rights within the military. Women COULDN'T fight against kings the way men could, because women weren't seen as people - they were the property of their husband or father, and in many places, women are STILL seen as property. Take Saudi Arabia, for example. Women aren't even allowed to be in a room alone with a man who isn't their father, husband or brother. They aren't allowed to DRIVE. The list goes on and on. But, you're right. Women aren't oppressed. Sure. How could I possibly have been fooled by the feminists?
*"An Aristocracy of Women has been created - it is a club for a select few, who, by virtue of being born female, do not have to fight in war or perform heavy manual labor. The Aristocracy has gone on to browbeat politicians into instituting government fast-tracks that allow them to rise to the highest levels of power and authority in society." Gasp! Women in power!? What is the world coming to? Grab your torch and pitch forks, everybody! It's a good thing Hillary lost the nomination! A woman can't possibly run the country! If she had won, she would have fed the feminist beast and all that is masculine would die! (Runs face first into a wall while screaming histerically)
It's people like this man that tell me, unequivocally, undeniably, irrefutably that we still need feminism. No, sexism is NOT gone. Women are NOT equal. Feminism is NOT done.
For any of you who haven't read Jessica's book (if you haven't, get a move on!), she opens with this little experiment:
Think of the worst things you can call a man.
-bitch
-fag
-pussy
-girl
Now think of the worst things you can call a woman.
-bitch
-whore
-cunt
-slut
See anything in common? The worst thing you can call a man is a woman, and the worst thing you can call a woman is a woman.
I e-mailed him back with the sentiments I have expressed in this post (and much, much more). I'm waiting for his reply. I don't expect to have shown him the error of his ways (Trust me, there is no reasoning with this guy - Rush Limbaugh and Bill Dobson have him wrapped around their little fingers), but at least I've shown him that his "sound, logical argument" has a few (warning: understatement of the year) holes in it.
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I can't wait to see what he sends you back.
Awesome.
Ew. You should report him to management. Oh wait you don't work with him anymore.
Crap.
Just send him this if he persists.
I have to say I think that is one of THE most ridiculous, condescending things I have ever read. I ABSOLUTELY agree with everything you said here. This is why I generally perceive feminism to be so logical, while anti-feminists consistently sound ridiculous, ignorant and brainwashed. It would be laughable, except that it's very real. Ugh.
I think you should report him to the management of your former employer, if he is still employed there. I doubt you could file a complaint against him there, since you are no longer, an employee, but it might be worth it. Was he using a work email address? If so, that has GOT to be a violation of workplace policy of some sort. It might sound petty, but I think bringing to the attention of his boss exactly what a misogynist asshole this guy is, and his opinion of women in the workplace, would be appropriate.
I hope you post his response here. I think I will enjoy reading it.
Why report him to his current employer? Really, what has he done wrong besides express his anti-feminist views? I'd hate for someone to report me because I responded to a blog during the workday. Why not instead invite him to respond to the people on this blog?
Getting him in trouble won’t be as effective as participating in an open debate with him. Maybe he might change his mind somewhat. Doubtful, but you never know if you don’t try.
Good lord. Congratulations on keeping your head and not giving in to you "delicate feminine sensibilities" and weeping until he apologized. ;) Thank you for taking a stand and kicking ass.
I've come to realize, friends and others, that I was relying to much on the writings of MRAs with that post.
Yes, it actually was a post in my blog, not an e-mail directed at my respected colleague here. It was posted from home, on my own time.
Out of my shame for not thinking enough for myself, I have removed those posts from my blog. I'd like to apologize for my poorly-chosen words and over-reliance on the opinions of others.
Having said all of that, I'm going to take a stab at conveying my own thoughts on the notion of feminism over the next few weeks. I would warmly welcome any of your opinions.
Thank you.
Dur - and I went and forgot the link. Sorry.
http://freunleven.livejournal.com/16983.html