I work as a program assistant (aka the youngest staff member with the least hours and the littlest pay) for a rape crisis program. I love the staff and volunteers-- I work with some amazing ladies and less than a handful of amazing men volunteer for us, too. When I was just a volunteer, I only supported victims with phone calls and hospital visits. When I joined the staff a year ago and began to attend the weekly meetings, I learned a lot more about how the system works.
A brief summary of how most cases go: victim reports crime, gets exam for evidence collection, gets grilled by detective and told she is a liar, rape kit not processed, case dropped and does not go to court, victim may be charged with false reporting.
Clearly, we are beyond frustrated. We were there during the exam, the police interviews, the follow-up contacts, the very rare court dates. We saw the physical and emotional trauma of the victim and the sadness and anger of those who love her. It makes me want to scream. But my job is to support the victim and focus on her (or him) alone. I am to remain professional and not share my opinion with the detective or family members or hospital staff.
One of my co-workers recently shared this article with me:
"But where is the message to men, telling them that a woman displaying her arm or ankle does not mean she wants to be forced into sex with anyone who has a mind to?"
"Let's be clear; women have the right to go out dressed outrageously and be gagging to pull a man for sex. Consensual sex. Women do not want to be raped. Ever. All rape is "real rape", even if she is wearing a skirt up to her neck, has her breasts on show and is drinking and flirting like crazy. Rape is sex without consent. Which part of that is difficult to understand?"
And my boyfriend's mother alerted me to this NPR segment.
Good stuff here. The article and the radio segment, not the harsh reality that they present.
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I work in a women's shelter so I can understand where you are coming from. I also run an online model booking service and was recently informed that a well-known photographer has been charged with sexual assault.
I can't believe the victim blaming and pure disbelief that I have come across since helping to spread the word. Instead of being grateful for me looking out for their safety some are responding by accusing me of ruining the person's reputation. Despite the fact that all I did was attach the police news release to an e-mail and click send. I am sure the coverage in every major/local paper did more of that than I ever could.
I completely believe the victim, I do not know her at all, and I don't need to. We all know how hard it is to get a conviction even in the most obvious and easy to prove cases, why would anyone choose to endure that trauma frivously.
So I checked with my supervisor here and she said that to her recollection, only 2% of sexual assaults are ever reported, and of those 2%, only 0.0001% are false accusations. Seems like the real problem is the reaction to people who report being victims, not men being falsely accused.
To quote/paraphrase the Biting Beaver and the Rapist Checklist;
If you don't fight rape, you support rape. If you don't believe or blame the victim, you support rape. - Consider is that really how you feel???
Thank you.
I just want to clarify that I was not trying to make the point that men are falsely accused. The reality is that rape has the same false reporting rape of any other crime. But stereotypes and misconceptions and general misogyny lead others (even those who are supposed to be enforcing the law) to believe otherwise.
Thanks for this, Louisa. I work in the field of sexual assault (as a researcher) and this infuriates me every damn day.
I remember my grandmother once saying that it's no surprise rape happens because of the way Kid's Today(tm) dance. I told her that it doesn't matter if I am naked from the waist down doing handstands, I'm still not responsible for a sexual assault against me.
I've been involved with dozens of interviews and hundreds of surveys of women who report sexual assault (to us) and I think there may have been one or two that resulted in a prosecution. While this is sad, I also think it's important that women have the option NOT to get involved with the police and court system if they don't want to. Of course, if the police and courts were more victim-friendly, more women might be willing to take that next step.
It's all fucked up, but I really admire you and those you work with for doing what you can to fight back against such a fucked up environment.
Go you!
I'm curious? How does the detective belittle her experience? I'm unfamiliar with the detectives involvement in rape cases.
Thanx!
An outstanding book on this subject exactly is called "The Story of Jane Doe" by Jane Doe. I presents accurate facts (for Canada) and she tells her story so well and so bravely. The facts she presents us with are pretty infuriating though.
I believe she quotes from somewhere that, in Canada, 1/4 of all women experience sexual assault in her lifetime, but only 6% of this is ever reported. And even fewer cases go to court.
An outstanding book on this subject exactly is called "The Story of Jane Doe" by Jane Doe. I presents accurate facts (for Canada) and she tells her story so well and so bravely. The facts she presents us with are pretty infuriating though.
I believe she quotes from somewhere that, in Canada, 1/4 of all women experience sexual assault in her lifetime, but only 6% of this is ever reported. And even fewer cases go to court.
Quite, quite frankly, this kind of thing makes me want to go apeshit on rapists in a vigilante way. It seems it's the only justice we could possibly get. Wait til they're asleep then smash their heads in. Or something.