I just watched what is quite possibly the most hillarious movie I have ever seen--Teeth. The first hour runs like an abstinence public service announcement (hillarious and scary), and then we get to the kicker: Dawn (purity advocate and all around good girl) has a toothed vagina, and she doesn't know it until her pseudo boyfriend date rapes her and his dick gets bitten off. Shock and awe insue.
Though the rest of the film doesn't completely cover all the psychological bases of Dawn's condition, and she turns into a bit of a bitch (right-fully so?) when she starts chomping on dick for fun, it raises some great feminist questions and offers an excellent parody of abstinence-only-purity-ring thinking.
As if that wasn't enough, I also stumbled upon this gem of a website: IRON HYMEN (http://www.ironhymen.com).
teaser:
"I, [MY NAME], hereby pledge:
1. To never let grubby boys touch me – unless it's just fun innocent stuff like tripping me and pulling my hair. (But only the hair on my head! )
2. To never wear trampy stuff like shorts or t-shirts or open-toed shoes, which basically tell horny perverts that I'm a major tramp who's just asking for it.
3. To never do rough stuff like ride horsies or bikes with hard seats, which could break my vagina's freshness seal and make me totally unlovable.
4. To never let tampons violate the sanctity of my hoo-hoo, because tampons are really nothing more than thirsty little albino penises.
5. To never have premarital sex, because Jesus doesn't want anyone messing around inside my girly hole until after His church makes some money off a wedding.
(my personal fave is #3 and the "freshness seal.")
All this talk of purity and "virginity," especially the way the Christian church has marred the idea of "two becoming one flesh," has raised a lot of questions in my own mind. I grew up in a Christian home, but even as I attended church youth group "purity" talks I knew that something was off.
Once the pastor's daughter got up in front of our group of highschoolers and gave an emotional talk on the dangers of sex. She called up 5 or 6 male volunteers and brought them up in front of us. Then she pulled out a six-inch strip of duct tape (representing the girl) and stuck it to the first guy's shirt. She ripped it off and continued sticking and ripping till she got to the last guy and made a big deal about how the tape was so fuzzy and barely stuck anymore. I might have been an impressionistic 14 year-old, but I still new that I wasn't a goddamn piece of duct tape! There is so much wrong with that illustration...
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I scared my dog laughing at tampons as "thirsty little albino penises."
Really. LOL!
We rented Teeth for movie night last weekend (2 straight girls, two straight boys, one gay boy), and it was enjoyed by all, especially us girls. There were shrieks of laughter from the the girls and the gay boys, and some tittering and defensive posturing by the straight boys.
Then, to reassert their masculinity the boys all went outside to play "Mexican Wrestlers'." We ended the night with Labyrinth, and gales of laughter at every loving shot of Bowie's codpiece.
I happened to have just watched this movie a few days ago, and I'm really confused about your comment indicating that Dawn begins dick-chomping for "fun." She chomped her rapist, the guy who made the bet with his friend and literally humiliated her to her face while his dick was in her vagina, she chomped her fuckwad step-brother who nearly allowed his dog to kill his own father, and then she (presumably)chomps an old man who has her locked in his car. Where does the fun come in?
to Ayla:
I meant that once she discovers the teeth (while being raped) and then discovers she can control the teeth (with the scumbag and his bet)she sets out to seduce and kill her stepbrother (which she appears to get some enjoyment/satisfaction out of) and then decides to hitchhike and murder any perve who comes in her way. Sure she was justified, it just seemed like she could only shift from helpless victim to powerful victor. I would have liked more exploration of the myths surrounding vagina dentata and the whole idea of the conqueror and masculine insecurities. But then again, it's hollywood.
As far as I'm concerned, the stepbrother deserved what he got. He tried to molest Dawn when she was little more than a baby, he let her mother practically die instead of trying to save her, and he was constantly trying to get her to have sex with him. Maybe I'm just a vengeful girl...
I didn't, however, think that the guy who she had consensual sex with deserved it. He was a jerk, but lots of people are. Looked like he survived though.
I LOVED Teeth. I thought it turned strangely from a quite serious film into an all-out comedy, but heck it was funny. It was also painful because of its realistic and harrowing depictions of rape. The response it's got from men is quite mixed. Some of them love it, some of them think it's disgusting and cruel. Go figure. The characterisation is absolutely spot on and perfect, especially Dawn.
I just went on the Iron Hymen website, and I think my favorite part about it is at the bottom of the page theres a little message geared toward guys that says "sex is for fags". Sooo classy.
I think Teeth is almost like a superhero movie; Dawn could be a part of the avengers or X-Men.
As far as how the general male viewer feels about this movie, there is a disclaimer at the end credits that says "no men were harmed in the making of this film" So they can all just calm down;)
Ha! I remember finding Iron Hymen! I loved that site! The male version Katie mentioned is also pretty hilarious: