First off, I'd like to thank everyone for their comments from the previous post. They were very helpful ^.^
Later that night, I ended up apologizing to my friend for calling her ignorant. After all, a small bit of politics isn't worth friendship. She accepted my apology and further explained that she can't help how she feels since she is Catholic (an excuse yes, but one I can live with). She went on to say that while she adamantly believes in pro-life, that wasn't to say she was totally against women's rights in the church and firmly believes that women should be allowed to be priests.
At that point, even if she wasn't apologizing, I forgave her. It occurred to me that I was the one being ignorant. I find sometimes we get caught up in our own beliefs so much, we forget that other's have their own. Just because she's pro-life doesn't make her any less of a feminist, just like being pro-choice doesn't make me any less of a Christian. So with that, we both agreed to disagree. I hope someday she'll at least learn that abortions in case rape-pregnancy can be permissible. I'd be quite content with that. Until then, I'll just accept who she is and what she believes. I think that's all I can do.
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"I'll just accept who she is and what she believes."
Friendship defined.
Humanist defined.
Feminist defined.
I read your original post and really wanted to comment, but I had no idea about how to say what I wanted to say. Strangely, I was terrified of being judged or berated for suggesting that perhaps the value of your friendship meant letting this issue go.
A couple of years ago I found myself in a similar situation with someone I have been friends with since college, for about 20 years. (It was not pro-life vs. pro-choice, but another political hot- button.) One of us made a comment, the other replied, then the first said "what do you mean?" followed by an awkward moment of silence while we mentally sorted out what was happening. It was painfully, painfully obvious (probably for both of us) that we stood exactly opposite each other. One asked, "is this a conversation we shouldn't have?" "Probably for the best."
She's one of the most important people in my life. I wouldn't pursue anything that would knowingly sacrifice our relationship. It seems that you've drawn the same conclusion for your own situation. You won't regret it!
I am really glad to see a follow-up about this! I am glad that you and your friend were able to patch things up.
It is very obvious that you learned something from this, and I sincerely hope that your friend did, too.
Perhaps, in the future, she will see through your example as a pro-choice Christian that there is something to be said for letting each of us make our own decisions (and thus not denying abortions to women who want them).
P.S. I hope I do not come off as condescending in this. I am really just very happy for you. I am having a lot of trouble navigating my friendships and feminism, myself, and your story is a spot of sunshine for me.
I don't know. One can be personally pro-life as in not wanting to ever have an abortion themselves and still be a feminist. That's fair.
But you can't be a feminist if you want to impose by legislation your pro-life views on other women. You cannot be a feminist if you think it's okay to take away other women's rights.
Last post, I got the idea that your friend thought it was A-OK for the government to minimize women's access to legal abortion. If she still thinks so, she's not a feminist, sorry. If she's only barring herself from abortion - then fine.