I know where you're coming from...ever since I was 14, I can't go to the doctor for any reason without being grilled on the possibility of me being pregnant. It does seem patronizing...I was prescribed a medication once that would require me to be on TWO forms of b.c. and submit to monthly blood tests to confirm I wasn't pregnant. I chose not to use that medication because most hormonal methods are automatically out for me and I hated the implication that I couldn't be trusted not to get pregnant.

You are absolutely not over-reacting. Ultimately whether you take any of your medications, and the degree to which you follow any of your doctors advice is YOUR decision, ESPECIALLY if the treatment will not improve your quality of life. With that said, your doctors (one would hope!) have your best interests at heart and are attempting to protect you, so try not to hold it against them too much.
Also, it might be worth double checking why your doctor wants you to go on the pill. Is it solely for contraceptive reasons or does he/she think it will have other positive effects for you?

Just re-read my previous comment and realized that I've implied the pill is a "medication" (ie, used to treat an ailment) which was not my intention. By medications I was referring to the prescriptions you get for therapeutic purposes.

Is there any non-pregnancy related reason your MD would suggest birth control? Since she/he specified the pill rather than an IUD, or a cervix cap is there some secondary side-effect that the pill provides which would be beneficial to the treatment of your Lupus?

Devil's advocate here: It may be that the pill could help with some aspect of the disease that would cost more or pose more of a risk of negative side-effects if treated in another manner.

I have Lupus too and I've been on the pill for over a year now. I requested it, for BC, but I've noticed that it's helped keep my flare-ups a bit more under control. Since, in some women, Lupus flares can be aggravated by hormonal cycling, that may be why your doctor wants you on the Pill. But s/he should just say so. And then let YOU decide if that's the way you want to go or not. Given the increased stroke risks people with Lupus face anyway, if you don't want to add hormonal bc on top of that, it's perfectly understandable. If your doctor isn't willing to talk to you about these things and fully explain why s/he is making the suggestion s/he is making, consider looking elsewhere. You absolutely deserve a doctor who will listen to you.

Knowing how to use a condom is important, but do you also know how to fight off a rapist? Have you discovered the secret to unbreakable condoms?

Okay, that was snarky, but I know you get my point.

Your doctor's is just doing his or her job.

Unless birth control pills would have a positive effect on your medical condition it seems unreasonable for you to have to take them while you are not sexually active.

@JPlum Are you seriously implying that all women of childbearing age should constantly be using some form of birth control in case someone rapes them? Really? That makes logical sense to you?

I know where you're coming from. I've ran into a few nurses/doctors, act like they don't understand when I reply abstanance when asked what kind of birthcontrol I use. I don't get why anyone should think this is strange, especially since it's not uncommon for a person to refrain from pre-marital sex because of their religious beliefs. I know there's hormonal birthcontrol out there, but I don't feel a need for it right now. There's emegency contraception if I should need it.

Having sat through a few too many stupid "abstanance is the only way" speaches in my younger years, I find this whole situation odd.

Bottom line is not having sex is better birth control than any pill will ever be. Your doctor insisting on taking BC pills, implies that you can't be trusted to be responsible about your own sexuality, which would offend me also.

The question you need to ask your doc is; "Why do they want you on hormonal BC"? If it helps with the symptoms, then I'd say give it some thought. I'm gay and don't sleep with men at all, yet I'm on depo because after 5 years it lowers my chance of getting ovarian cancer by 80%, and my Mother died of ovarian cancer at a young age.

Now if it's just to keep you from getting pregnant, then you can choose whatever you want. There are very good reasons not to be on hormonal BC just as there are good reasons for being on it. The choice is completely yours.

Though as I say that it occurs to me that you should consider how you feel about the possibility of having an abortion as it seems that would be your best choice health wise if you do become pregnant. If you don't want to face that decision, then it might make you lean harder towards a more reliable form of BC than condoms.