I've experienced this many times, and I've noticed that some of the most dismissive reactions to anything feminism come from high school girls. I can't count the number of times friends of mine, strong and self-assured girls, say things like "Oh, yeah, you're really into that feminism stuff." Why is it that younger women who are, in every other way, feminists dismiss the idea of feminism and act just as you describe, with a verbal pat on the head for my "hobby"?

This happens to me ALL the time. I think it's pretty common.

I find it happens more often with the males in my life--kind of like a switch goes off (indicated by dull eyes, awkward glances, and a hasty change of subject) as soon as the "f-word" comes up. But I've seen it happen with my other girlfriends too. I had a very similar victim blaming conversation with a group of friends and an entire other conversation started while I was stilltalking.

It's irritating, especially once you start noticing how it happens all the time. I think it might be about picking your battles, as much as I hate to say that. If it's clear that you guys are both just on completely different pages and neither is likely to change their minds, it might be better just drop it. But when it's something that you find offensive or maybe just something someone said that was just uninformed, speak up. I was influnced by and have influenced friends of mine simply because if I keep talking, eventually someone will hear something they find interesting, whether it's an opinion, or a story, or music, movies, whatever that has to do with feminism. Good luck, anyways!!

My brother always tries to make fun of me when he sees me on feministing, except I have no embarrassment, so it doesn't work.

I know it probably feels like you don't have any support but stick it through. Don't be discouraged. Eventually you will realize that those people really have no idea what feminism is about, and that's the perfect opportunity to let them know what it's really about. Good luck =)

I get it all the time, only I'm male and am 95% of the time calling out my male friends. I'll be honest, I don't do it as much as I should, because I don't handle the ridicule and mockery well.
But seeing as I wrote my personal statement for an MBA program about being a feminist and got in, I think I'm making good points, even if my friends ridicule them.

Keep fighting the good fight.

This happens to me all the time too, and ya I agree with you Geneva, it seems to be mostly young women who otherwise are very strong women who don't take shit from anyone, but won't call themselves feminists. You just have to keep talking! because most of the time they probably don't know that much about it and if you don't educate them, you are failing us all! Just kidding, but seriously spread knowledge.

I have run into problems similar to this. I identify as a feminist and talk about feminism and societal issues often. However, the majority of my friends tell me that I can't identify as a feminist because I'm not a man-hater. Ugh, it's so frustrating. When I try to explain to them that not all feminists are radical feminists, they just kind of brush me off. It's really too bad too, because I would call a couple of them feminists, but they won't hear it.

It's not just younger girls. Plenty of women my age say crap like that, too.

"I'm not a feminist."
"Well, I suppose you'll be quitting your job and giving up your right to vote then, huh?" is my usual response. "Also gonna quit using birth control, not own property...?"

I've actually gotten through to a few of them that way. Some are just idiots though.

I find my favorite way to talk about feminism is to let people come to their own conclusions. For example, I have an admittedly non-feminist, VERY traditional roommate, and I will often bring up stories I read on feministing without mentioning the source, and watch his reaction. I like to call it the “Surprise! That’s a feminist issue!” tactic.

We were recently talking about the new HHS measure to define "abortion" and protect those who refuse to refer services, and he was expressing many of the same negative opinions and conclusions we all came to about the policy. I would say to him after the fact, "Well, that's a very feminist stance to take on the issue."

We’ve discussed everything from health insurance sexism to breast-ironing to military mismanagement of rape cases, you name it. And at the end, I always add, “Well, there are a lot of feminists out there fighting for that or believing that too.”

For people who instantly feel they have to distance themselves from the “f-word,” I try to remind them that many issues they feel strongly about are the same ones shared by feminists. And after living with my roommate for about a year now, he’s not an outright feminist, but he’s certainly realized he supports a lot of what we have to say, and he doesn’t recoil when he hears “feminism” anymore. Score one for the feminist team!

It happens with women of all ages. There is such a negative connotation with the word that to many are afraid to be associated with it. I learned to stand my ground and not apologize for my opinions, neither do I "give it a rest", which is a line I hear a lot from friends.

Don't despair so many of us go through the same thing.

Britbacca that's a good one!

I tend to just lay it all out there for them. If they are my friends, or my family, they WILL know how I feel about feminism, as it is very important to me and should be to them.

If I'm trying to get my point across to people who aren't feminists, then I use humor. Like when we watch a movie or a TV show and they portray men as dumbasses or women as "dumb sluts" then I'll point out how stupid it is. And usually everyone gets a good laugh and hopefully they'll see it that way from now on.

I get it too. My ex housemate was terrible for it. After I got an article published on the F word she planned to write one 'to that weird feminist site you got published on' with a friend about how feminism was so bad. I never got any details about it tough, and it certainly never got published. I don;t think she even wrote a word of it. Just liked to taunt me with the idea for months.

I try my best to educate people about feminism not being a dirty word but sometimes it feels like I'm banging my head against a brick wall.