I'm pretty new to feminism. For a long time, I listened to society tell me that feminists were all hairy, man-hating crazies that wanted female domination and didn't argue, so I wouldn't have dared associate myself with the term. Fairly recently, I had an honest discussion with someone about the values of feminism that was very enlightening, and I realized I had been a feminist in belief and action all along-- despite my bold ignorance and denial of the fact.
Since then, I have been studying up on feminism to help broaden my understanding of the movement. The only problem is, my fiance -- who really is all about equality and completely uninterested in society's ideas of male and female roles -- is strongly resistant to any "ism," including feminism. Any time I bring it up, he argues with me for the sake of arguing and becomes the devil's advocate. Normally I enjoy our debates, but it's frustrating to feel that he isn't really thinking about the topics I present.
I explained my feelings to him, and he agreed he wasn't being fair in his arguments. He promised to read any articles I could come up with that would help him better understand what I'm talking about.
So this is the question I pose to the awesome possum folk on Feministing: Can you recommend any good articles or essays on feminism? My fiance is ADD and has a tough time reading books, so any short-ish pieces you could suggest would really be appreciated. (And anything you can recommend to me, books included, to help my education would also be wonderful.)
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This article in Bitch magazine was recommended to me by my boyfriend as something that he thought (as someone newly understanding of feminism) concisely and convincingly summed up what I'd spent months conveying to him piecemeal.
Also, to be honest, the Feminism 101 blog is a great resource, especially if you're kinda short on attention.
As for books, I was a great fan of The Gender Knot: Unraveling Our Patriarchal Legacy, by Allan G. Johnson. It was a slow read, but as someone already committed to learning about feminism, it was worth it.
Sometimes I'm saddened that the books that captured feminism best for me were both written by men. *sadface*
Jessica Valenti's books are awesome. If I had to pick one of the two, I'd recommend He's a Stud, She's a Slut and 49 Double Standards Every Woman Should Know. It's pretty awesome.
bell hooks' Feminism is for Everybody has a great chapter called "Feminist Masculinity," which explains feminism and also how men stand to benefit from it. Your bf shouldn't have a problem if he reads just the one chapter - it's essay length. For yourself, the book is a great (short) intro to bell hooks and womanism/women of color feminism (she is AWESOME at showing how the various -isms are connected, especially racism, classism, and feminism). Her writing really makes things "click" in your mind.
Oh, and welcome to the feminist fold! It takes a lot to realize something you've thought all your life was wrong. And it's think it's great that your fiance plays devil's advocate with you, I think those kind of conversations really help you to articulately form your beliefs. Just don't let him get away with lazy arguments like "women and men can't be equal in all ways, just look at sports!" Help him to get over his own prejudices about feminism. And be sure he understands that you won't tolerate conscious sexism from him, whether he believes in "isms" or not.
I ditto UWMKatie's bell hook's recommendation. That whole book is awesome, super accessible and really rooted in "real world" examples.
If you don't mind getting really, really angry, Susan Faludi's Backlash is incredible, though some of her accounts of the backlash with leave you almost sputtering with rage.
And I know she's a bit out of style, but I found Naomi Wolf's Fire with Fire to be inspiring, and an antidote to the 'let's all sit in a circle and agree, and not raise our voices, because we are gentle and womanly, and only mean nasty men disagree with people' thing I was exposed to in a women's studies class. (Not that all women's studies classes are like that, just the one I was in)
Right now, my boyfriend is diligently working on Jessica Valenti's "Full Frontal Feminism." While he dislikes reading, he seems to be fairly interested in this book, primarily so that he can understand where I am coming from. Despite him being a quintessential "nice guy," some of his friends have the rowdy, frat boy mentality. Until he met me, my boyfriend had no idea that the catcalling his friends did while intoxicated was often insulting and/or intimidating.
a third vote for bell hooks! she is 18 different shades of awesome.
and sometimes it helps to point out that conversations like the ones you're having with your boyfriend aren't like normal "debates" because it directly connects to your life and how you move through the world. so while it might be an abstract set of concepts for him, it's something you experience every day.