Ok. I'm tired everywhere I go especially being around hispanics, they immediately think that being a woman (first), and being Mexican (second) I should biologically love to cook! My boyfriend's mom thinks it's wrong that I don't find enjoyment in cooking, so does my boyfriend. He tell's me that he would cook for me everyday, not because it is a role but because he loves me and wants to see me happy. I tell him that I would appreciate that but he doesn't have to because I wil love him wether he does that or not. Then he also says that I shouldn't let my feminist views control all my life, that I should learn how to cook because is needed, not because I'm a woman.
And I tell him I agree with him , but that at the time I don't need to learn! I'm not living by myself! And if I learn how to cook I would see it as ; I'm learning because I might need it some day. I'm not going to be jumping up and down with excitement how everyone expects a hispanic female to react to cooking and seving your husband/boyfriend/father/brother. In the hispanic culture they immediately want women to naturally love cooking! In the hispanic channels, a lot of commercials involve women cooking, and there is even a commercial that sells pans and pots for mother's day!!!!!! Your going to celebrate mother's day by making her live in the kitchen! My dad feels the same way, he always tells me I should learn how to cook,but he nevers tells that to my brother, and he always expects me to do the cleaning of the house too. And when my dad is hungry, he demands food from my mom, he demands everything! I'm tired of this mexican traditional culture that were taught to grow up into! Your made fun at your job, your school, your friends, if you reject the traditional role of hispanic women. They always tell you tha now you've become so "Americanized" as if wanting a little bit of respect for your own beliefs and ideas had anything to do with nationality. Women want respect no matter from what country their from.
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I agree with your reasons for rejecting being forced to cook, but you shouldn't let that prevent you from learning to cook.
How about you find some kind of food that you want to eat that nobody in your house will enjoy but you and you cook that? Then it's purely you cooking for you and not for anyone else?
Also, if you don't cook and your father and brother don't cook who is feeding you? If it's your mother, aren't you railing against a system that forces women into a servile position while also benefiting from that system?
This is kind of racist? I understand, because I grew up in a hispanic home where I was expected to grow up knowing how to cook, clean, and do other things that the Bible says I should do for my husband, but also I think you need to think about the culture that breeds that kind of thinking.
I don't want to say to you, "don't hate the player; hate the game", but I just don't think women blaming other females does alot of good.
I completely understand where you're coming from. As a Dominican, people always assume I know how to cook. One guy actually said to me "Don't Dominican women teach all their daughters how to cook when they're young." Umm... mine didn't. Probably b/c of jerks like you.
My mother didn't want us to have to cook for a man and instead said we should aspire to make enough money to pay somebody to cook for us. (I know this is ridiculous, you don't have to say anything.)
But I have to agree with Logrus here. My problem ended up being that whenever I wanted to eat something in particular, I was forced to buy it at a restaurant. Especially because I didn't want to ask my mother to make it for me (my father does enough of that, and I want to throw a shoe at his head every time he demands food). I'm trying to learn how to cook now, but it's hard working full-time and having other responsibilities. So I'm still forced to spend a lot of money on take-out when I wish I had a few more staple dishes under my belt.
I wish I was more independent in that way, so I hope you think about it some more before you end up hungry and broke like me.
My mother loves to cook and my aunt used to be a caterer. I like to cook when the mood strikes, but it's not my favorite thing ever. I think they're kind of disappointed.
Here's a random story that I found entertaining. Before I was born, my parents had two Chinese exchange students living with them. My dad makes dinner occasionally, frequently makes the salad to go with the dinner that my mother makes, and takes care of his own lunch. They both thought it was hilarious that a man would cook, and giggled every time he fixed himself a sandwich.
"If it's your mother, aren't you railing against a system that forces women into a servile position while also benefiting from that system?"
I agree with you completely hear Logrus, I guess I didn't want to see that. I guess of what you guys have told me I should learn how to cook for my own means of survival and heling my mom. I totally agree with that part, but it makes me angry that the men in my house leave my mom with all the work, my dad always seems more upset when I forget to dot he cleaning then when my brother forgets, and other small things like that. What I hate the most of the way my dad and brother think, is that the are always preaching that their always on the side of women, but when it comes to helping the ones that are closer to them they don't give a shit. I rally can't get the enjoyment of cooking, just for the simple reason that I don't like it, but I know i have to learn it someday because I don't want to e broke and be able to live on my own. Cooking for me is like learning to drive, you have to learn it someday. The thing that bothers me the most is that in the hispanic culture (and I agree it has to do more with the system, not the people or women) is that everyone expects you to naturally love cooking.
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