I found this article from CNN interesting. It describes the way in which fashion trends have become more "modest." One part in particular that caught my attention was when the article said, "Last year, an American Psychological Association task force reported that cognitive performance and health can suffer when teens and young women make themselves into sex objects by wearing sexy clothing or styling themselves after sexy celebrities."
First of all, the only person who can turn you into an object is the person objectifying you. Also, it's extremely problematic to say that a women who dresses "modestly" or "demurly" dresses that way for herself whereas a women who dresses provactively dresses that way for male attention. This only feeds into society's "she was asking for it" attitude towards rape survivors.
Finally, I find it kind of creepy that mom's are celebrating their daughters dressing like 50's housewives...and don't get me started on the "one-night stand" look.
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If dressing 'provocatively' is all for male attention is dressing' demurely' is about NOT getting male attention, isn't dressing 'demurely' still dressing for other people?
"whereas a women who dresses provactively dresses that way for male attention"
how does one deal with women who do in fact dress provactively to garner male attention? That happens a lot, same as men dressing to garner female attention. Is it less problematic to say "a women who dresses "modestly" or "demurly" dresses that way for herself whereas a women who dresses provactively -sometimes- dresses that way for male attention?"? if we are to be heteronormative about it.
Dressing in any way that is primarily about fashion and appearance is dressing for other people unless you spend all your time looking in front of a mirror.
Seriously. Fashion is not cool. It's environmentally unsustainable to keep having to buy new clothes every season. It fuels sweatshop factories. Its marketing is degrading and tricks us into sheep-like consumer behavior. The clothing fashion sells us is cheaply made and wears out. Its primary purpose is appearance, not function or comfort.
So when I see an article about how girls are dressing more 'modestly' - I don't think it's hitting the point. You can be sexually dressed and still be wearing 'modest' clothing. Think about the 'sexy secretary/librarian' category. Also - when tribes of humans wear little to no clothing at all, do you think they accuse each other of being 'hyper sexualized'?
What I'm against is the culture that equates sexual with thongs, bikinis, tank tops, pushup bras, breast augmentation, collagen implants, shaved everything. These are all things that need to be bought. Women buy these things. No one forces you to get a boob job. I've never heard of anyone who's been denied sexual intercourse because they didn't wear a thong.
The clothing from the raunch culture is revealing and serves to draw unnecessary attention to secondary sexual characteristics.
Our bodies are perfectly fine. We shouldn't be ashamed of them.
But how would you feel if you saw a man dressed in short david-bowie package enhancing shorts? You'd probably take a second look. Maybe he's gay. Maybe it's a dare. Maybe he just likes it. It might even be distracting. But he's definitely drawing attention to his sex characteristics. He didn't have to wear those shorts. He didn't have to draw attention to his penis, but he did.
I'd find it distracting. First of all, that shit can't be comfortable for him what with his junk probably much too sweaty. But I think of the women who wear uncomfortable underwear and bras and skirts and shorts - just because it looks "good". Or whatever. I don't think it looks good. I think it makes you look like you spend an awful lot of time thinking about what other people think you look like.
Let's stop dressing to attract mates.
It's so completely outdated. Someone who is going to appreciate you for who you are is not going to give a flying f- what you wear, or what you look like. They'll love you if you get your face bashed in in a car wreck and look like Quasimodo. They'll love you if you're hairy.
Heck - they might even love the fact that you don't care what you look like.
Good ways to attract mates?
conversation.
hobbies.
having a life, with goals and interests.
caring about people and causes.
that's just for starters. Conveniently, these same things attract friends and people who are good for things other than sex.
Physical appearance has never been a priority for me in choosing a mate. I've actually dated men I thought were physically kind of gross. But they had good hearts, and I was willing to suppress my socialization in order to make them feel loved. Maybe I'm weird for doing that.
If all you care about is sex sex sex, then go ahead do whatever it takes, wear whatever you feel you have to, so you can get your rocks off. But if you have other priorities, then let those priorities dictate what you spend your money on, not fashion.