Hi! My friend found out she's expecting about a month ago, and she's been raving about a book called The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy. So I'm sure she'd recommend that!

The book store is scary because it's full of totally mainstream being-a-mommy-will-make-you-a-real-woman and weird new agey books (with titles like "spiritual pregnancy"). I don't mean to offend anybody with these characterizations - that's just the way it seemed to me. The mainstream books tend to toe the party (medical engine/business) line with respect to interventions (in which the notion of medical necessity is employed dubiously). One book that I found very useful was the "Our Bodies Ourselves Guide to Pregnancey and Childbirth". I couldn't find it at my bookstore but I got a used copy on amazon.com for like $10.

If I were you I'd get with a midwife practice as soon as you can. I went with an OB and I regret it now. I didn't realize the danger that I was in (you don't think your doctor would lie to you or coerce you into unnecessary treatments but they sometimes do). I haven't had my baby yet and I'm nervous about what's going to happen in the delivery room.

Anyway, as far as books go, the Our Bodies Ourselves book is great. Educate yourself as much as possible! Good luck!

The same group who produced the book Our Bodies, Ourselves has a new volume out about Pregnancy and Birth that talks about a lot of the issues you mention.

Because I tend to the hypochondriac side, I'd also suggest the Mayo Clinic Guide to Pregnancy since it gives explicit information about possible symptoms of pregnancy and when a symptom is and isn't a reason to go to your caregiver. I love the amount of medical information as well, since it's rather hefty.

I'm training to be a doula, so I've been up to my ears is pregnancy/baby books recently. Here are some favorites:

Our Bodies, Ourselves Pregnancy and Birth
Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth, Sheila Kitzinger

If you're interested in the miwifery perspective, I would recommend Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin. For doula info, my favorite is The Doula Advantage by Rachel Gurevich.

Co-workers of mine have raved about a Girlfriend's guide to pregnancy. I just read the full Our Bodies Ourselves and the chapter on pregnancy and childbirth was extremely detailed - so I imagine the book on Pregnancy is even better.

I was thinking that if I ever changed my mind about kids, that's the book I would read. I would also want to find a book about planning for single motherhood...Good luck to you!

For me Ina May's Gaskins Guide to Childbirth. If that doesn't convince you to use a midwife nothing will. I also like Childbirth from Within (I can't remember the author) It was recommend by my midwife. Its more of a workbook than anything else. Our Bodies Ourselves;: Pregnancy and Childbirth I would recommend as well.

I also avoid pregnancy magazines like the plague! A person would go mad trying to follow all the do's and don't.

As for child rearing. I'm still at a lost. A friend gave me Baby Wise, which I'm still reading. I found out there is a lot of controversy surrounding it. The books makes a lot of big claims but my friend swears by it.

I have some good friends who are midwives, and I hope they'll forgive me for saying this, but there's a lot of propaganda and pressure coming from that side as well.

The important thing is to find someone, whether doctor or midwife, who will support you and help/guide you the experience. My wife just had a baby 2 months ago, and her doctors were extremely supportive, open, and helpful throughout the experience.

My personal advice is to read everything and try to be open to as much as you can. There's a lot of bad information out there, but the more you read, the better you'll be able to decide for yourself. The women I know who've had the worst birth experiences are the ones who had the firmest ideas in place about what that experience would be like. We had lots of ideas about what it might be like, but in the end, the cord was wrapped twice around our little girl's neck, and our plans had to change very, very quickly.

All the experts I've read that mention Babywise have a very low opinion of it, and many actually think it's dangerous. If you're unlucky enough to end up with a colicky baby, though, I recommend Happiest Baby on the Block. And the what to expect books are great resources for those late night "holy shit, is this normal?!" kind of moments, of which there will be many.