Disclaimer: This post talks about periods, tampons, and pads. If you don't want to read about female hygene products, don't read this post. I realize that some women prefer tampons, but I think they're evil -- but you're not if you use them.
I hate tampons, and I know I'm not alone. My first experience with them was during middle school when I went to the nurse for female hygene products and all they had were tampons. I was 12 and had a hymen, so it felt like there was a stick in me for the rest of the day. (My next experience was very similar when at a cousin's and we wanted to go swimming. Still had that hymen though, so no swimming for me.)
Eventually I was able to use them, but it was always a hassle, and 10 years into my menstrual years, I can no longer use them for the same reason I had been unable to use them when I first got my period: PAIN! Now it just makes my cramps unbelievable, but I've come to the conclusion that my vagina does not like them and so I avoid them.
Unfortunately, it's impossible to avoid them all together because of all the things that are marketed to young women, tampons are the most ubiquitous (word of the day).
Tampax is by far the worst offender. Take this gem for instance:
Isn't that special? "Compared to pads, Tampax helps keep your period private." Yes, that's right, even through your dark jeans, while you're sitting down with your legs crossed, EVERYONE knows that you're wearing a pad. In fact, it's even more obvious than having a mariachi band following you. So, instead, we recommend our brand of bleached, overprocessed cotton to jam up inside you.
There's a formula for tampon commercials: pretty, skinny, well adjusted women who use the product being advertised, and a bloated girl who still uses pads because she's not yet enlightened. She's also bitching about her period. The tampon girl says "how can you use pads? It feels like wearing a diaper." and hands the pad girl the product being advertised, "here try this." And at the end of the commercial they're doing something fun like dancing, or swimming, or working out, and they're both laughing.
Because, apparently, tampons make you happy. Yes. Tampon=happiness.
Yeah, I don't think so. And what's all this nonsense about wearing a diaper? Really? I've been out of diapers for a really long time, so I don't quite recall the feeling of wearing one, but I think this statement is highly suspect. I mean, I don't know about you, but most pads I've seen protect one area of the panty, and since we've done away with the whole cloth-and-belt thing, it's actually pretty much just the one spot between my legs that has a little extra padding. No impeding of movement. No crinkly diaper sound, no saggy butt.
And someone, please, tell me why I have to still be sexy, wearing tight pants or short skirts, when I'm on my period. I don't feel sexy on my period. I feel cranky, moody, and oh yeah, I feel like my uterus is turning itself inside-out. Having to be sexy while on our periods, (by wearing tampons), is just one more of those symptoms of a culture that consumes women. We're expected to at least appear available at all times, even if we're really, really icky "down there".
Another formula for tampon commercials is a man in a store staring at a wall of feminine hygene products. Usually it's dear old dad, who has been sent in by his daughter who is waiting in the car (why?). He grabs what she needs, and blushes as he pays for it. It's thoroughly embarassing for a man to have to buy tampons (why?), but for some reason, he endears himself to his woman (or daughter) when he does. And he always has to say something to the cashier, usually something which demonostrates his ignorance to the mystery of the period, or his embarassment at having to buy something for her monthly ickiness.
This model is the "Knight in Shining Armor" model. She is so debilitated by her period that she can't go to the grocery store herself and buy the prodcuts she needs, so dad or husband or boyfriend has to get them for her.
I find this model to be the most patronizing of the lot, because it assumes that women are utterly useless while on their periods. (Full disclosure: I'm on my period right now and have been doing a lot of strenuous work at work while simultaneously packing my apartment to move this weekend. Clearly, I am useless.)
Finally, there's the informational model of tampon commercials. "Did you know you can now wear a tampon for up to 8 hours?!" This was a commercial a few years ago after "scientists" "deduced" that you weren't risking TSS (toxic shock syndrome) if you slept through the night with the same tampon in the whole time. That's so kind of them. You can now sleep comfortably through the night without having to get up and change in the middle of the night. Unless you know, you make a mess.
Now, I've spent a lot of time talking about the evils of tampon commercials, but not a lot talking about the evils of tampons, mostly because it's an entirely subjective thing what you want to use for your period. I have no interest in convincing other women not to use tampons (primarily because the only person in whose period I am interested is my own), and I'm certainly not going to lie and say that tampon manufacturers put fiberglass in tampons to make you bleed more -- cause that's not true, if it was, it would cause massive internal bleeding and tampon companies would go out of business.
I do however, want to say something about the gross-out factor about periods, which I think is the reason tampons are so popular. Menstrual blood isn't gross, at least not any grosser than any other kind of blood -- certainly no more gross than milk, and we're told to drink 8 oz of that a day! Yes, it has a propensity to go everywhere it can, stain underwear and dresses, and throughout history women have been shamed and shunned because of our periods. So naturally, we took to hiding them.
Periods aren't shameful or inconvenient. They just are. And missing one is one of the scariest things most women (who aren't trying to have children) can experience. Nonetheless, we're continually taught that we must hide them, pretend that we don't feel like shit, stop whining about the pain, and take some midol. I think that's bullshit. You should treat your period however you want, and if anyone gives you grief for it, tell them to stick a tampon somewhere.
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It's not just period ads that make women look ridiculous - I went to the movies tonight and there was a pen ad (yes, a pen) that basically portrayed all women as golddiggers who want a George Clooney/Patrick Dempsey lookalike. Bah!
I agree - when I have my period, I want to hide from the world. I feel bloated, grumpy and crampy. I just wish I didn't feel this way every month!
Oh... my... god. I am in love with this post. I feel like it was something I was always trying to say but you said it--- Gonna have to post a link at my blog now!!!
I always felt like this, except I hated pads equally for their icky feeling. I am now very happy with my menstrual cup, as it is better for me, the environment, my wallet, more pleasurable to use, and has no gag worthy ad campaigns.
While I agree that advertisements for tampons and pads generally suck, there is one good thing I can say for tampons.
When I was younger and still uncomfortable about my genitals, especially when I was menstruating, tampons (I use o.b. so no applicator) allowed me to get comfy with interacting with my own vag.
My period is fucking inconvenient. I get moody, my back hurts, I get cramps, I bleed the Red Sea which lead to stained panties, clothes & bedding. While I don't think there's anything inherently shameful or unnatural about being on my period, I personally don't find it to be a happy time to celebrate my womanhood or whatever. It's a pain in my ass to carry the necessary products, my bleeding is irregular so I inevitably bleed through my products (usually when I'm not home and at least one night in the bed). I don't think my blood is gross, but I don't need it all over my clothes and bedding. Also, cramps suck and make me miserable.
But otherwise, I agree. It just is and we shouldn't be subjected to shame because our bodies do what they're designed to do.
""
Missing one isn't just scary for women.
Barenaked Ladies: She's On Time (excerpt)She's on time, She's on time
She's on time, She's on time
She's on time, hallelujah
She's on time
And it's the safest time of the
month they say for love
Anyhow, my ex was a big fan of "Instead", I wasn't but I'm grossed out by having them sit on top of the little waste basket next to the toilet (to be fair, milk does gross me out too).
4llison: x2.
My love of my DivaCup cannot be overstated.
I don't know about you, but I frequently find it inconvenient to feel like someone whacked me across the lower back with a two by four.
I am with you on the tampon hate. I can FEEL them inside me all the time. I don't understand how anyone can forget they're there. *shudder*
I got a Diva cup a year ago and the awesomeness of this product can not be over-stated. I used to get yeast infections all the time until I quit using tampons. Menstrual cups are great. You do have to be real comfortable with your vag to use them, though, because they can be difficult to insert. I also quit having as much menstrual pain when I ditched the tampons.
I don't see how you can say that tampons are supposed to make it so that you don't have to face your genitals. Putting in a tampon requires a lot more intimacy with my vagina and menstrual blood than pads do, since you have to actually insert the tampon rather than just putting a pad on your underwear and ripping it off. Plus, there is always the need to go fishing around "down there" for the string.
I fourth (fifth?) the love for the Diva Cup. I was worried it wasn't going to work for me the first month, but now it's great; I feel like it lessens cramps, and I spend fewer days bleeding while I use it. It also gives me a happy sense of self-sufficiency while I'm using it (Sort of like that Onion article: "Woman Empowered by Everything Woman Does")--but seriously, it's great. :)
And for those with killer cramps, I recommend those stick on heating pads and upping your calcium intake. Be good to your bodies!
I'll third, fourth, or whatever it is the menstrual cup recommendation. I find that they don't have that awful I-have-a-large-non-penile-object-in-my-cunt feeling that tampons have -- probably because the cup sits just above the vagina. And because it sits so low, it's way easier to reposition than a tampon, which you just kinda shove in and leave. (Not that I often need to reposition: Usually, if it gets out of whack, it just feels kinda like underwear have ridden up, and squirming around a little fixes it.)
I love the Diva cup so much. My best friend and I presented on alternative menstrual products multiple times. Many women on our college campus switched to the diva cup or sea sponges. We also held "Make your own pad parties."
Also, when you are drunk in the bathroom at bars or parties is a great time to bring it up. I guess you don't have to be drunk, but I always find myself telling other women about it after a beer or two. Perhaps, its because I have to pee every ten minutes...
You know tampons are evil once you learn that they were designed by a man who was inspired by a syringe.
Ditch the disposables!
Great post!
I can't wear tampons because they don't work well with my body.
It is important to mention the cost of the price of tampons, which is a lot! It is very expensive over a lifetime.
I have been wearing washable pads for 10 years.
I recently bought some new washable pads from here...
http://www.gladrags.com/
I also dig the Diva Cup, but I do find I have the check the underside of my toilet seat for splashes. No persons of the toilet-seat lifting persuasion live in my house, but not something I want to share with an unsuspecing guest.
I used a pad during my very first period when I was 12 and absolutely hated it. My second period I started wearing tampons and I never wore another pad. I wear OB, the kind without the applicator (so I can say I'm not uncomfortable with my periods or my body since you have to put them in place with your own finger). They're also really convenient because they're tiny and you can put them anywhere.
I tried the Diva cup with no success at all. I don't have heavy periods, but I couldn't keep the damn thing from leaking everywhere and taking it out was a bigger disaster.
I am disgusted with the whole feminine hygiene marketing mess, but you've got to fucking use something, just do some critical thinking about the messages the media puts across and point it out to your daughters, friends, etc.
I actively dislike the Diva Cup. I tried it several times, and not only was it a mess, but I was always aware of it, no matter where it was positioned.
I can't, in good conscious, use regular pads (how are they any different from the processed bleached cotton most tampons are made out of?), so I use the reusable pads linked to earlier, or applicator free non-bleached tampons.
I love tampons. There are definitely a lot of problems that surround them (advertising, environmental, culture around it), but functionally they are great. I do always want to offer some advice to people who experience pain with tampons (and who don't have a condition that causes it).
1) Avoid tampons that expand lengthwise but not much outward (tampax is the worst offender!)
2) Don't take them out too early. Removing a dry tampon is definitely going to be unpleasant.
Dude, I've been comfortably wearing tampons since I was 12, and I didn't have sex until I was 19. Hate all you want, but I'm pretty sure I too had a hymen. Your argument sounds like my strictly Catholic mother ie "Tampons make you lose your virginity!!!!"
When I first started having periods, it was a disaster. I would leak (in public) all the time and I hated it.
Funny thing is, years later, I actually like having my period. Despite the slight discomfort on my first day when my stomach is bloated, when I'm on my periods I feel like more in touch with the woman in me. My period reminds me that I'm not pregnant, and that is a beautiful thought because that means I still retain some control over my body, though that may change if McCain becomes president.
"And someone, please, tell me why I have to still be sexy, wearing tight pants or short skirts, when I'm on my period. I don't feel sexy on my period."
I think you got onto an interesting note there with this issue of being sexy on your period. It's interesting that, on the one hand, we're generally not taught to talk about our periods, and they're generally thought to be an un-sexy time of the month. However, the advertising companies play on that insecurity by saying that, if you want to feel sexy on your period, this product will accomplish that. They reinforce the awful cultural notions we have of sexiness in relation to menstruation by coming up with a "solution" to those very negative feelings. I don't think the ads are implicitly saying you must be sexy on your period, I think what they tend to veer more towards is that when a woman wants to be sexy, she needs to use the product that is the most discreet. Yeah, tampon commercials are annoying as hell, because they generally reinforce the values we have about our periods: men shouldn't know about them, men don't want to know about them, you need to keep it secret, and if you wanna feel sexy, you gotta keep it under wraps.
I disagree with the analysis of the tampon commercial: you seem to assume that the not-so-skinny, 'bloated' girl is the pad user. I don't think that is true: she is the one using other ways to 'advertise her period' (like the mariachi band and in another commercial the period song or whatever) since she is using these wonderful and discreet tampons - following the logic of the commercial, she would not have to take these measures if she were using pads, since then it would be immediately obvious to her surroundings anyway. I think this changes the atmosphere of the commercial (taking away the contrast between the 'pretty, skinny, well adjusted women' and the 'bloated girl who still uses pads because she's not yet enlightened'.
You do have a point that the basic underlying message of this commercial is that periods should be hidden from your surroundings and that tampons allow you to be sexy while having your period. However, is that specific for tampon-advertising? I am from Holland, so I am really not updated on the commercial culture of the States, but I do not think that pad commercials are that fundamentally different or less offensive than tampon commercials. To me, they also emphasize the 'discreetness' and 'cleanness' of having your period, while we all know that the reality is quite different.. It is ridiculous, of course.
It seems to me that your one-sided frenzy against tampon commercials in particular is based on your own preference for pads and your bad experience with tampons. Personally, I am very enthusiastic about tampons (ob). I do not feel them at all, and they do allow me to dress/behave/feel like 'normal' during my period (whether that is 'just as sexy as normal' as is suggested in the commercial, or just my grumpy old self.
I dislike all ads for menstrual products equally. At least tampons don't use the random blue liquid to demonstrate absorbency.
I have fairly miserable periods as a rule, but they got much less miserable as soon as I learned how to use tampons. Sooooo much more comfortable for me. I think that pads feel like diapers, and they restrict my movement. And yeah, it's really subjective, but I won't fault the tampon ads for saying so.
I roll my eyes during ads for pads, but it's none of my business what anyone but me decides to use. And I get that you dislike tampons, but there is just as much stupid shit coming from their advertisements. At least try to be fair. Your complaint about the "informational model" makes no sense whatsoever.
re: sexiness
My period is often my horniest time of the month, and I find sex a great release for my cramped womanly muscles. Thankfully my partners haven't bought into the ickness thing and are happy to lay out a towel and go to town.
(there is no such thing as TMI in a period thread, right?)
I hate tampons, but I also hate pads because I don't like feeling wet all day.
And this is why I adore my menstrual cup!
Once I figured out how the applicator worked, I never had trouble with tampons (and I agree with Lisa - pulling out a dry tampon is not comfortable). During the first couple years that I had my period (in highschool) when I lived in fear if getting blood stains on the butt of my jeans (it happened once or twice - a horrible thing to live through when you're in highschool), I'd wear a tampon and a big pad. I didn't care about comfort, just wanted to avoid leaks at all costs. And, knowing I was pretty safe from leaks made me feel more comfortable overall.
No matter what they say, I wouldn't sleep with a tampon in. I have an almost religious belief that that is dangerous (it was drummed into me when I was young).
Very interesting post! I'm sorry that tampons cause you so much discomfort, that must have annoyed you for a while. Personally I love using them during my period because they make it far less messy and I'm going to be honest here, the big pads really get on my nerves. They're just bulkier than I want something in my underwear to be.
And god, do I hate my period. Cramps suck.
I am with you on the tampon hate. I can FEEL them inside me all the time. I don't understand how anyone can forget they're there. *shudder*
That's my problem too!!! What i usually end up doing near the end of my period is I use a tampon to "clean up" afterwards. I use pads the rest of the time. Sure they make me feel like wearing a diaper (only if i keep it too long) but at least i don't feel like there is a stick in my vagina (yes, even the small ones feel like that). When I sit it's like the end is poking me all the friggin time. I can't stand it. I keep hearing about menstrual cups but I'm afraid to try them due to its another thing i have to stick in my vagina. I like flexible soft things in my vagina thank you very much. But whatever, it's your ickytime you deal with it how you want to.
RevivingGemma:
I can relate! if I'm out with friends after a few drinks I always wind up chatting about the magic of the diva cup. It's pretty hilarious. Good female bonding times though.
I agree tampons and pads suck. I used to have to wear a pad with my tampon anyway...so the whole thing didn't make sense anyway. This year I got myself a Diva cup after my friend had bought one and recommended it.
It isn't perfect and sometimes if I don't put it in correctly it may leak a bit (though I am a really heavy bleeder..so that's probably why) but I loooove it! To me even though you have to empty it out, I just feel so much cleaner and actually I feel more connected to my Vag than ever...hahaah it sounds corny but it's true. Also it's awesome to know that it's environmentally friendly AND no risk of toxic shock syndrome.
I had the same issue... tampons = more cramps.
I found though that with all-cotton tampons I don't get those cramps. Just have to get the organic ones to make sure there isn't any extra chemicals. While they aren't as absorbent as the 'normal' one, I find they flex more (means it doesn't feel like a stick in the vag). My doctor has also made a point that even though any tampon is required to have the TSS warning on the box, she has never heard of a case where a woman using a cotton tampon has had it.
The only problem I find, is they are a pain to find (I can get them at Trader Joe's here) and I can only every find them in one size (regular).
I hate tampons. I've tried the ob brand, without the applicator, and they were the worst. I could never get them to go in enough and they would leak and feel like hell. I've tried the ones with applicators and it'd be fine if I didn't have to remove the applicator partially to push the damn thing in. Go to "leak and feel like hell." I think I must have an overly small vagina or something. I couldn't imagine using a cup.
Augh, I hate tampons too. I won't even wear thong sandals because I dislike the feeling of that strap between my feet, so having a wad of cotton shoved up my vajayjay all day is out of the question. I also hate pads, though. They always seem to bunch up, making blood leak out the sides. And the wings do nothing but stick to my pubic hair. I ought to look into getting a Diva Cup.
As for the ads. I remember an ad for a brand-new "sport" tampon, that would stay in and protect your panties even if you were doing gymnastics, rock climbing, etc. And my question was, What did you think women were doing with your non-sport tampons? Just sitting in a chair all day, not moving for fear of leaking? Do you think they'd miss the track meet just because they're bleeding? Tampon and other feminine hygiene ads are so totally out of touch with what women actually do and think it's disgusting.
I am completely in love with my pussy right now :)
I used pads as a kid for a while, but then I started using tampons and never looked back. I only use Natracare, which is a brand of tampons that uses organic cotton and they are oxygen bleached, so no nasty chemicals. You can buy them in most health food stores.
I love tampons and can't figure out why women feel them inside. If you push it all the way up you are not supposed to feel it. I've felt tampons a few times in my life, but it was because I didn't insert them all the way, but once I figured it out...fuggetaboutit :) But I guess everyone is built differently and it depends on the brand.
I'd like to try the cup. I really want to know what everyone is raving about :) But pads? NEVER AGAIN.
And the whole thing about feeling sexy? Day 1? I never feel sexy on day one, because I'm in pain. But after that I am my normal self again, and I have to say that tampons really do have a lot to do with that. I hate the commercials, but sometimes they make a good point.
I love this post!!
neither my sister or I was ever comfortable with tampons, we think we might be shaped differenly or something.
ten years ago I started using glad rags and I love love them! recenlty I've started making my own rags.
I tried the diva cup, but it didn't work out from me. (sad) but that's ok, in the end I kinda like bleeding ON something. call me werid, but that's ok.
to all the comments about the suckyness of staining underwear:
i recently went shopping with a friend of mine, and noticed that she was buying about 20 different pairs of black underwear. she explained to me her (genius) plan of wearing only black undies while she has her period, thus alleviating the fear of spotting because it would be virtually invisible. it was such a simple solution that i wondered why i never thought of it. it's worked great for me and will probably save me hundreds on new underwear over my reproductive lifetime.
I use a diva cup, not because I hate tampons. Mostly because it's cheaper and better for the Earth. Although I use pads too when it's really heavy because of the spotting, but the black undies thing is genius!
I've never felt like I had a stick up me while wearing a tampon. I think if you do, you're not inserting it up far enough...
I just can't get behind the whole "moon time", "my period is awesome" thing. I have no problem telling people about it and I don't think it should be some sort of government secret but, it's inconvenient and annoying, and no amount of "look at my powerful and awesome vagina" talk is going to change that. Having to cut my toe nails is annoying, and so is my period.
Actually, my favorite thing about my diva cup is that you don't have to lug around a suitcase full of "supplies" everywhere you go. If it's already in you have everything you need.
Actually, my favorite thing about my diva cup is that you don't have to lug around a suitcase full of "supplies" everywhere you go. If it's already in you have everything you need. Although I do always feel bad when I can't help out a girl who needs a tampon/pad.