I was crying.
I was actually crying. Watching the Cho Show had made me cry because it was brilliant, hilarious, and felt so connected with Margaret as she made me see that I'm truly not alone in feeling alienated by parents and by community.
Being half-Korean, I can't say that I can fully identify with Margaret's struggles but I still can sympathize with a lot of the things she's been through. Especially with demanding Korean parents who have a vision set for their children and fully expect their children to follow that "Doctor/Lawyer" or other professional career path as they see it as a true marker of success in America.
I felt her discomfort as she stood in front of the silent Korean crowd during her own award ceremony, and I laughed in relief when they laughed, which shows that they're atleast on the path to accepting her and her differences. It's a slow journey. It brought me back to the days when I attended Korean Language School during the weekends in an attempt to learn my mother's language, but it reminded me of how I was painfully aware of my differences. I was taller and darker, with kinky hair and thick lips, and my eyes were the only hint to imply any sort of Korean blood. Fitting in with Korean kids was extremely difficult then, and it still is to this day because I've come to understand that the most acceptable mix is one who is mixed with white, not black, in the eyes of the Korean community.
The most haunting part of the show was when her parents presented her with a set of baby clothes, reminding her of their concept of being a "complete person", which means eventually bearing and raising children which is a sentiment that my Korean mother expresses all the time. Seeing Margaret's pain and disappointment was almost too much to watch. It was as if her parents were not satisfied with her still, at the age of 39 despite all of her achievements, recognition, success, and continuing fight against adversity all because she hasn't decided to have a child yet. Because of the cultural and generational gap, it made me realize that, like Margaret and her parents, my mom and I will never quite see eye to eye.
The most beautiful part was when the young Korean woman read her letter to Margaret after the award ceremony, thanking her for the work she has done because it help her feel like she wasn't alone. And that's when I completely lost it. There's not much more I can say about that.
I look forward to the rest of the season of The Cho Show. This first episode reminded me of Margaret's strength, beauty, poise, and talent, and most importantly why Margaret Cho stands as a positive and wonderful role model for not only Korean women but all women.
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I got teary eyed when the girl read the letter too. Seeing her parents buy those cloths and not so subtly hint that to be a "real" person you have to have kids made me really think about my own life. I've never wanted to be a mother and my parents never really talk about grandkids with me but I wonder if I don't I'll miss out on some big part of life. It's like people drum it into our heads that that's what life is all about. Just to see another generation though. I don't want to believe that.
"The most beautiful part was when the young Korean woman read her letter to Margaret after the award ceremony, thanking her for the work she has done because it help her feel like she wasn't alone. And that's when I completely lost it. There's not much more I can say about that."
That's when I lost it!