Things I would like to tell my niece...

Never let anyone tell you that you have to behave a certain way or dress a certain way just because you're a girl.

Follow your heart. Find activities that you enjoy and and do those. Never let anyone tell you there is a job you can't do or a sport you can't play. Know that once you have your heart set on something, there is not a force in the world that can stop you.

You are beautiful. No matter what MTV and Cosmopolitan magazine will have you believe, you are beautiful just the way you are.


When you hit those akward teen years, just be yourself. Don't worry about what other people think of you - you should never change who you are just to fit in with a certain crowd. Be yourself and you'll fall into the crowd that suits you. Trust me, this will make the teenage years a lot less akward.

You don't have to be the best at everything. As long as you're trying your hardest and enjoying yourself, that's all that matters. It's not the end of the world if you don't make the Varsity team as a Freshman. It's not the end of the world if you don't bring home straight A's on every report card. Your friends and family will still love you, and your future will not be destroyed. So when you start feeling like there's just too much stress, slow down and take a minute to enjoy the little things.

Never do anything with a boy (or a girl) that you're not comfortable with. Never feel guilty for saying no. Anything you would do will be so much more enjoyable when you're ready. When you think you're ready, make sure you have accurate information about how to go about it safely. If you're not sure, call me. I'll always tell you the truth.

And most of all, remember this: You are loved.

Posted by ashley_ann706 - August 20, 2008, at 05:22PM | in
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7 Comments

Cosmo magazine is such a waste of good paper. Well, you could always use it for toilet paper. Heh.

Right on. :) I tell and demonstrate these points to my 2 daughters as often as I can.

Very sweet. My mom always told my sister and I similar things as we grow up and continues to tell us. It totally helps.

How about, "If the real you is what Cosmo and MTV promotes, don't let anyone put you down for that either."?

Wonderful advice. I'd use the same for my daughter, if I ever have the privilege of having one. (Even if I would be a bit more strict about some points, the overall feeling is the same.)

I would take it further and advise the above to my nephew as well. We often tend to overlook the amount of pressure that is made on our nephews/ sons etc. to follow strongly gendered paths as well, which is just as harmful as it is for girls. I have a 2-year old nephew who I can see is strongly directed towards fulfilling some conventional masculine ideal: playing football is a must; displays of physical strength are praised, showing emotion is discouraged. I am prepared to be there for him as the cool (feminist) aunt :D, but it`s scary how quickly kids are socialized into stereotypical little 'men' and little 'women'...

ashley_ann706 commented at August 20, 2008, at 05:22PM: "Don't worry about what other people think of you - you should never change who you are just to fit in with a certain crowd."

At the same time, beware of other people who don't care what other people like you think of them, and who won't change themselves just to treat you politely (for example: the recently growing outcry over sexual harassment, even by unpopular people, at geek-culture conventions).

ashley_ann706 commented at August 20, 2008, at 05:22PM: "Be yourself and you'll fall into the crowd that suits you. Trust me, this will make the teenage years a lot less akward."

...and trust me, especially if she's in a small town and a small school when she's a teen, there may not be enough other people who suit her to form a crowd (or even a 2-person friendship) for her to fall into. :/

ashley_ann706 commented at August 20, 2008, at 05:22PM: "You don't have to be the best at everything. As long as you're trying your hardest and enjoying yourself, that's all that matters. It's not the end of the world if you don't make the Varsity team as a Freshman. It's not the end of the world if you don't bring home straight A's on every report card. Your friends and family will still love you, and your future will not be destroyed. So when you start feeling like there's just too much stress, slow down and take a minute to enjoy the little things.

"Never do anything with a boy (or a girl) that you're not comfortable with. Never feel guilty for saying no. Anything you would do will be so much more enjoyable when you're ready. When you think you're ready, make sure you have accurate information about how to go about it safely. If you're not sure, call me. I'll always tell you the truth.

"And most of all, remember this: You are loved."

Right on!

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