In the hot August humidity, a common thing for my father and I to do is go walking through one of the local indoor malls. We're big fans of walks, and of course, of each other, so it has become a favorite summer pasttime.
But today, as we were discussing our normal mix of nostalgia, politics and planning (what classes I'm taking this semester, how John McCain is nucking futs, etc) I saw something that really bothered me: Underneath the women's restroom sign it said "children's restroom." Under the mens, nothing. As much as it pisses me off that it shows that women are expected to have a very specific role in society, it reminded me of the way I felt as a child, something I hadn't thought about it a while.
When I was a child, my mother worked full-time, and my father worked part-time. This was not helped by the fact that we were living in a very conservative suburb of Kansas City, KS. Because I spent more time with my dad he became my buddy. One day, we decided to go to a Kansas City Royals game. I love baseball, so I was so excited.
Very shortly after arriving, I had to go to the bathroom. So, because no 6-year-old should be going into a giant public restroom alone, my dad took me into the men's bathroom. Not only did everyone look at me and my dad like we had seven heads, but one baseball fan had the cajones to turn to my dad and ask "What you doing brining that in here." Yes, I was a that, not a her or a kid, a that. None of those men respected the fact that my dad, the giant loving teddy bear that he is, was taking care of a child. It ruined the game for me. The next nine innings were spent with me not cheering, not talking, and feeling very very uncomfortable.
Why is it wrong that man raises a child?
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I had something similar happen as a child. I went to Disney on Ice with my dad (I think I was ~5 or 6), and when i had to go the bathroom, he brought me into the men's room, telling me to keep my head down (although I remember asking later why people were standing up and that we didn't stay long enough for me to wash my hands, so keeping my head down didn't solve every problem). He was obviously uncomfortable with the situation though, because the next time I had to go, he passed me off to a woman entering the ladies room. By 7, I was old enough to help my little sister go to the bathroom and neither of us had to get help from strangers or enter the men's room (a huge relief to my Dad, I'm sure).
I have seen "Family Restrooms" at many large stores, and I kind of assume this is becoming a trend to avoid the type of situation you describe. At the airport recently, a woman brought her sons (both under age 10) into the women's restroom and no one seemed alarmed by it--or at least vocalized any concern (although later a woman had her shirt off in the restroom to freshen up, and I realized that if you're spending all day traveling, the airport bathroom becomes like a washroom, and maybe that also points to the need for Family restrooms?). As for a sign saying only "Women and Children's restroom", that is really strange, and makes you wonder why men with daughters are being ignored. I'm sorry you had to deal with being referred to as "that".
Problematic as they are, the rules are in place to prevent children from being molested in empty, unattended bathrooms and probably to protect children from the sight of exposed men at urinals (or, maybe, men from being seen by children). Sexual predators are a reality, they are predominantly male, and consequently, our efforts to stop their abuse tend to shift childcare responsibility further onto women. Fathers are being driven off playgrounds and having police called for taking photos of their children in parks, the problem is growing.
In counterpoint, I recall a woman who walked into a mall bathroom to check on her GROWN daughter who was taking an awful long time, only to find another adult woman trying to drag her unconscious daughter out an exit. The kidnapper sweetly told the mother "could you hold the door for me, my daughter's just fainted and I want to take her home." When the mother screamed, the other woman ran, leaving the daughter behind. Sad testimony that women's bathroom only rules won't help everyone.
The phrase 'women and children' is offensive, to both men and women. To women - or this woman at least - being classed with children is offensive for obvious reasons. For men, it excludes them from importance. Can you imagine hearing '50% of the casualties were men and children'?
I imagine it's more a function of child molesters being, at least in the public consciousness, predominantly male than it is an effort to pass childcare off on women -- not that the latter doesn't happen as a result.
Like you, I spent a lot of time in men's rooms as a little kid because my dad was working much less than my mother at the time. Until I was five or so, both were commercial on-camera and voice-over actors and models at the time, and my mom had a much more successful, if shorter-lived, career at it than my dad. (Due to all that hanging out with Dad, I also ate a lot of Rice-a-Roni at home and milkshakes in Greek coffee shops and got awfully good at wiffleball and at keeping my balance on the subway with no hands.)
I think you're seeing this from the wrong angle.
The reason why it is more permissible and even expected for women to take their children into the women's bathrooms inside of the men doing it (especially if the child is a girl) is not because people dont expect men to look after their children, but the fact that the default image of a child molester is a man.
What will it look like if it's a man who is taking a little girl by the hand, into a washroom? This is the same reason (but not only one) why men are more likely to be teachers at the secondary and tertiary level and why most "nannies" are female and why people try to steer their kids away from men who smile at their kids. People are uncomfortable seeing men with little children, be it boys or girls.