Oh, thank you for posting this! I know how you feel completely. In my old school, the fact that I was a somewhat outspoken feminist was a bit of a joke amongst my friends. Sometimes people would say sexist things just to get a rise out of me, or tell me to shut up if I started ranting about something. It really angers me, too, that our generation doesn't seem to care or even know about feminism. I think that the concept was unknown to most of my peers before I started talking about it.

First of all, let me point out that you are awesome! When I was thirteen, I was still believing the backlash and wouldn't touch feminist thought with a 10-foot pole.

I think the reason so few girls and young women (as well as boys and young men) don't know or care about it is that the powers that be (rich white men, basically) have a lot invested in keeping minorities in the dark. They spend a lot of time and money making sure we don't realize how disenfranchised we are-- look at all the churches saying we just need to find a husband, all the ads saying we just need to lose 10 pounds to be happy, all the schools saying we should act like good little girls (while boys can/will "be boys").

But the fact that you are so young and so enlightened is a huge ray of hope! It's up to you now to show those people around you who haven't had their eyes opened yet that feminism is about civil rights and equality, not man-hating, bra-burning and being hairy. :)

Kate commented at August 31, 2008 10:46 AM: "But the fact that you are so young and so enlightened is a huge ray of hope!"

Yeah!

In a way it's sad to see so many other women talk about how they became feminists in their late teens or 20s, because that means they weren't feminists earlier. I became a feminist so young that I don't clearly remember it (5? 6?) and it's always cool to see that I wasn't the only one! :)

I had a similar story from when I was in middle school too. I think we learned about feminism in history class, and I was talking to one of my friends about it and I said, "You know what? I think *I'm* a feminist!"

And she said, "Yeah, I thought I was a feminist too, but then I got to thinking that if I don't like men, *who* am I going to like?" And she said it in such a way as to imply that she'd basically have to become a lesbian, which was out of the question. And for me, at a young age, that really hit a chord and I didn't really become feminist until my senior year of college when I actually understood what it was.

Mina:

I don't think that becoming a feminist when you're a few years older is such a bad thing though. It takes a while to overcome patriarchal beliefs within, and actual feminist theory is not something you can just understand on the first try. When you get older, your beliefs mature, even though when you're young it's hard to think that they will.

Agreed, Chapstick. My mom's always been a feminist and basically transferred those beliefs to me, but she didn't say specifically what it was until I got into the double digits or so. I'm not sure I would have fully understood the term when I was a little kid anyway, when there were other things on my mind.

I think it's great that you've found your feminist identity at such a young age. It took me until my senior year of high school before I recognized that I was, indeed, a feminist. I think it shows that you have wisdom beyond your years. Now if only the billions of adults who don't think feminism is needed anymore were half as smart as you...then we might get somewhere.

Just promise me that you'll never let any of the anti-feminist bs you'll surely encounter in your feminist career turn you away from the movement. Because you ARE the movement.

Yay for teenaged feminists! I think being a feminist is so much harder at this age, because teenagers are so isolated in their small school communities, that there isn't a bigger support group. I know I've talked to my *one* other feminist friend before about starting a feminist group at our high school, and we always end up deciding that not only would there be too small an audience, that we would face administrative pressure and censure.
I know it's hard to feel so strongly about something, and have people not understand how powerful it is, or how desperately feminism is needed in the world. The important thing is to keep trying, and keeping spreading the message.

I feel the same too, and I'm 24! I still get singled out for being a 'weird feminist'. The women's group in my uni of godknows how many thousands students had 10 members max last year. I often get the feeling I'm talking to a brick wall when I wheel out my feminist ideas to my non feminist friends (ie most of them). I get the look of 'there she goes again'.
But the most important thing is , it doesn't stop me.

Another one congratulating you for being so strong so young, it's so hard as a teen to not fit in and to be yourself.

I did not consider myself a feminist until I was 18 years old. Unfortunately, learning about feminism in an applicable way is not available in most public schools. The women's studies are limited to the first wave and maybe a touch on the second wave. Young women aren't encouraged to care because that is a thing of the past.

I learned about feminism in an applicable way by self education. I picked up BITCH magazine and began reading bell hooks. Also through peer discussions I was educated.

I do think women and gender studies should be a part of mandatory school curriculum everywhere.

Hi, I'm also a teenager and I been really into womens rights since I was 10 or 11. As a high school student, not a lot girls know about feminism. In fact in my H.p U.S history class I was the one to explain to a group of girls about Roe vs. Wade. I had to explain to a girl, why I didn't want children.(Boy, was she mad!) I see a lot girls either think I'm weird, or hate me, or admire me. It helps I have feminist parents. Heck, my dad didn't want to buy Barbie or a baby doll.

Congrats to you for being confident and bold enough to stick up for your own beliefs. Keep it up. I identified myself as a feminist when I was your age, but I had a wave where I didn't claim the title in my late teen years because I was swayed by the hype that so many people believe about feminism. Like many posters above have said, I think a lot of people have the idea that feminists are all man-hating man bashers who hate men. For a brief moment, teenage me thought, "I can't be a Feminist, I like men." Then I woke up and realized that all that is crap, it's about fighting for equality. It's terrific to see that there young women like you are not afraid to tell others about feminism. You made my day.

Like a few of the previous commenters, I too have considered myself a feminist since I can't even remember. My mom, who is not the most "active" feminist I guess you'd say, taught me about feminism and I guess I just assumed that all my other friends from elementary through high school were feminists too, even if none of us actually said, "I am a feminist and so are you!"

By the end of my senior year of high school, though, I started reading books about feminism and women's rights, and how there is still such a great need for young feminist activists (and not-as-young ones, too, of course!). Whenever I'd discuss feminism and/or my new knowledge of just how bad it still really is for a lot of women (I lived in ignorant bliss for the first eighteen years of my life, sorry!) with my friends, I realized (and was actually shocked) that, even though a lot of them did feel the same way about women's rights as feminists do, they felt uncomfortable with the connotation of "feminist" and didn't associate themselves with "such women."

Essentially, I think it's excellent that at 13 you are already actively feminist and helping to promote the cause! We need lots more young women and girls (and we of course still need the not-as-young ones too!) promoting feminism and the need for women's rights.

Two years ago, I was in your exact same place, a confused 13-year-old feminist. I go to an all-girls Catholic high school, so I can definitely understand your pain. It can be very confusing that all of these things mean so much to you and make so much sense to you, yet everyone in a one-mile radius is looking at you like you just slaughtered a kitten. But again, I think it's so cool that you've discovered feminism at a young age and are already so active with it. Keep it up. I'm fifteen now, and while it can be difficult to have views different from what seems like everyone else, you have to be true to what you stand for. Kudos!

Karisse--

I'm a few years older than you, and I've always considered myself a feminist, too. I mean, always. Of course, I had the advantage of parents who really emphasized equality and the struggles all these different groups have gone through and still go through to get it, so it always seemed like a no-brainer.

Then, in middle school I guess, I started talking with people for whom it wasn't a no-brainer. And I'm like, Huh?

I think a big part of the problem is the cultural co-opting of the word 'feminist' as 'someone who thinks men are evil and women should rule the world.' Ugh, I can't count the number of times I would look at someone and say "Do you plan on voting? Do you want to get paid as much as your brother for the same job? Are you as smart as the guys you know? Do you want to have a credit card without getting your husband or father's permission? Then you're feminist!"

So just keep making yourself heard! Sounds like you're doign a great job.

Oh, and hey Cat! Catholic girls' school survivor here. It sounds like my school was chiller than yours, though. Of course, that doesn't mean all the students felt the same. Some of my good friends are just SO smart and SO driven and such good people, but actually consider themselves anti-feminist! It's incredibly frustrating, and all I can do is talk back and forth with them and keep my sense of humor. That's all the advice I really have.

Anyways, good luck with your school and keep fighting the good fight. In a kitten-safe sort of way.

Keep up the great work! Just remember you're not alone and support is just one blog post away. :)

I'm a teenage feminist too! I'm seventeen now, and I've always been a feminst, but I think it was thirteen when I really started identifying with the word itself. I too have had had many disheartening experiences. I get a lot of "Oohhh you're feminist [I'd better be cautious around you now]" sort of looks. Once when I was in my math class I overheard a conversation in which a girl was expressing her concern over chosing a college because, I quote, "College is where you find your hubby and if you go to the wrong college you might find the wrong hubby and then your whole life is ruined!"

However, my reccomendation to you is that if you feel your peers are lacking in education about feminism; educate them yourself! Don't be militant about it or try and force your values on them, but if the issue ever comes up, try and have conversations! Explain why you're feminist, ask them what they have against it, what they believe in, etc. This might be a little extra difficult in middle school (most of the thirteen-year-olds I knew were immature about everything, not just feminism, so you might have to wait a little bit to get a good opportunity to have those conversations). Good luck!

It's so frustrating how many people don't know what feminism is and actively believe it's something else. I had a HUGE fight with my (male) roommate last week when he told me that feminism is the idea that women are better than men and should surbordinate men. I insisted over and over that, no, actually feminism is "the radical idea that women are people" but he went on to deny that women are treated differently from men and that therefore, feminism is not needed. It wasn't just the ignorant, hateful words he said (like men are raped more often than women) but the way he said them - so patronizing, like "listen little girl, stop complaining about something that doesn't exist."

I became a feminist in my early 20s, after I connected a lot of the painful/ugly shit that had happened to me to the fact that I was a woman - and I realized I didn't deserve it. I think it's wonderful that you (and so many other women!) are able to realize they are "people too" on their own accord rather than being led to it by sexist experiences. Keep it up and never, ever doubt that you deserve everything feminism stands for!

Hey guys thanks for the support. I can identify with many of you! And thanks for all the advice! And faithdarwin-
You're comment telling me to educate my peers myself...I feel like you know me! I'm an incredibly forthright person and I do exactly that!

I noticed that many of you pinted out that feminists in schools are the minority...even her in NZ they totally are! I got to an all girls school and I know only one other feminist. One word: SAD!

First of all, you are awesome. A lot more 13-year-olds should be like you; hell, a lot more *adults* should be like you.

Public schools, in my experience, do at least pay lip service to feminist issues. But it doesn't matter. The educational system is increasingly irrelevant. What's really educating people is the media. And the media doesn't want anything to do with feminism, because it encourages free thought that will cut into their profits.

So instead, they peddle two things. One: strawfeminists which are designed not to appeal. It includes sexist jokes which are supposed to make the tellers/listeners feel subversive. (Subversive? Come on! Patriarchy has been established for millenia, you're not coming up with anything new.) It includes caricatures and stereotypes.

The other thing they peddle is product-feminism. Things you buy to make yourself believe you're a feminist without really studying it, while someone else - usually a rich white guy - gets richer for it. This is a bit trickier to distinguish at times, I'll admit, and it's by no means limited to feminism. Co-opting happens with a lot of things.

This turned into a mini-essay, I know, but more and more I believe that feminism and anti-commercialism are really close to the same thing.

Yay! i am so with you on the feminism thing, girl. well, kind of obviously, haha.

I'm 15 and a HUGE feminist. i really don't get why anybody who considers themselves a woman wouldn't be a feminist. i guess that's just how it is.

speaking up and posting things like this is most definitely the first step.
=]

i dont know lena, I can see why a 13 year old might not proclaim themselves a feminist. It would depend on what country theyre in and what class they are a part of but a middle class 13 year old female here in the states, well her only clear memory of a presidential election had a woman in the primary, she sees as many girls as boys playing sports, girls doing better than boys in school, the vast majority of her teachers are women, special programs exist in the schools to ensure young women do well and a lot of other things. I think with the ways things are now it could actually take longer than before for someone to become a feminist as realizing how the world actually works takes a long time for a lot of people and all the simple things no longer seem the way they once were. If you have all the things I mentioned, large swaths of mass media devoted to you and as far as things can be measured you are better off than boys, have a lesser chance to have a learning problem or any disciplinary problems, a lesser chance to be subjected to physical violence, I can see it taking until your 20's to see the feminist light.

ChapstickAddict commented at August 31, 2008 11:14 AM: "Mina:

"I don't think that becoming a feminist when you're a few years older is such a bad thing though. It takes a while to overcome patriarchal beliefs within, and actual feminist theory is not something you can just understand on the first try."

Doesn't feminism include stuff like "girls and boys should get to play with all the same toys, like it's OK for a girl to play with blocks instead of dolls" and "girls and boys should get to do all the same jobs when they grow up, like it's OK for a girl to be a doctor instead of a nurse"? Thanks to becoming feminist early, I wasn't missing out on those ideas at age 7. :)

That's why I'm sure not all of feminism is deep theory that requires something like a university-level class to decipher. ;)

ChapstickAddict | August 31, 2008 11:14 AM: "When you get older, your beliefs mature, even though when you're young it's hard to think that they will."

Good point.

It gives me so much hope that you understand the importance of feminism so young! Keep it up!

I think the problem is multifaceted.

First of all, a lot of people leave it to the schools to teach their kids important subjects, and most elementary schools teach very little history. I was astonished, in high school, to find out that some of my classmates didn't know what the Holocaust was.

Second, when kids do learn about past struggles for liberty, most of them will immediately relegate such knowledge to a mental box marked "past". They've never seen anyone rounded up and slapped with a yellow star, so anti-Semitism must be dead. Everyone -- at least everyone in civilized countries -- learned better, right?

And third, it takes a while for people to learn how to examine their own culture with a critical eye (and as we all know, too many never learn this at all). My fifth-grade teacher, bless her heart, taught a unit about advertising and some of the ways in which products are presented to get people interested. It was simple stuff, but it introduced the idea that the media wasn't something to be consumed blindly.

So, with luck, your classmates will start to learn about the movements for women's equality, and about what things were like before that. They'll also get some rude shocks when they realize that those struggles aren't over. And as they mature, so will their critical thinking. You're just ahead of the curve.

As a teen, I actively didn't identify as a feminist. I was swayed by the jerks who would say "I don't trust -isms", and I didn't want to be associated with the man haters or the people who complained about words like "history". It wasn't until much later that I realized that the people who blame feminists for the fringe, or claim that feminism has no point, were all either deeply sexist or deluded.

It also took me a really long time to shake the idea that the world was sexist, but that's just the way it was. It wasn't fair that women were expected to shave their legs when the guys got away with just their faces, but that's the way it was. It took me a really long time to see that all the unfairness went one way--boys and men nearly always had the upperhand, sure, you can't hit girls, but that's about our only advantage--and that it was organized and systematic.

I'm not a worse feminist for this, of course, it's a result of living in a culture that tells us sexism is dead, long live equality and it's your fault that you only make $.77 to the men's dollar. While my parents were feminist, they too didn't stress the idea that feminism was something real or important, just that I was as capable as a man, which still left me with the impression that the sexism is that is there was just the way it is.

The saying that you've got to know where you've been to know where you're going is spot on here. The battles that have been fought and the rights won by decades of feminists, (self-proclaimed or not), are not generally known. Hence many of the rights and opportunities available to young women today, which were not available to previous generations of women, are taken as given and unquestioned. This of course means that these same young women are less likely to see the restrictions still placed on them today because of their sex, and if they do see them, possible ways of addressing these restrictions. If a person is unaware of history and capacity for change, viewing the present as "the natural order", then the chance of them questioning that order and seeing change as possible for the future is very low.

I speak to young women even into their mid-20s, who feel that feminism is a dead issue because they perceive themselves as having their equal rights, as incredible as that might seem. Others are more aware of inequalities which still exist, but are resistant to being labelled a feminist because of its associations with stereotyped, radical, bra-burning man-haters of the 70s. These young women claim that they believe in equality for women and that there is still need for change. It's as if the word "feminist" itself has taken on a whole new meaning in the minds of some younger women, and to be labelled a feminist is seen as very negative by them.

So to this young 13 year old poster, Klarisse666, congratulations on being so informed, and for having the strength to identify yourself as a feminist when it is not "cool" to do so. It is unfortunate for so many girls and women that it will be life experience and the injustices that they will inevitably face as women which will switch on the "feminist" button. To be aware, as you are, to the potential for injustice based on your sex is to your advantage, because it will hopefully make you less prone to being "pushed" into roles others say are appropriate for you, and your decisions are more likely to be based on your own needs.

The girls/young women who are unaware of feminist issues, or deny their relevance, are more likely to end up following the route chosen for them by others, and wondering why they feel that nagging sense of discontent.

Of course, there are no guarantees of contentment, feminist or not, but at least if you go through your teens and early adulthood with your eyes open to what is not given, but expected of you by society because of your sex, you are more likely to end up in a place you want to be.

"I really don't get why they care"

They don't??? They don't understand why women care to be equal, to get paid the same, to be treated with respect?? Is this the Paris Hilton Culture rearing it's hideous head?

Wow. My little sister is your age and she called me the other day to ask me about who "the leader of feminism" was. You know, like there was this dictator who told all of the other feminists what to do. The more she explained her question, the more she revealed that she thought the entire feminist movement was the work of one woman. One long dead woman. I've tried to talk to her about women's history so many times, but she asked because she wanted me to do her history fair project for her. I'm pretty disappointed, actually.

I've considered myself a feminist since the first time I heard the word. It is cool to see other feminists feeling this way at such a young age. :)

I know how you feel. When I was in 6th grade, we were going over women's suffrage in history class. I mentioned I was a feminist and a bunch of girls said "No, you're not." Because apparently they thought feminism didn't exist anymore.