I was on BBC's WORLD Have Your Say radio program yesterday afternoon speaking on sexual harassment. The question was "how should women react to sexual harassment?" Although i didn't get nearly enough talk time, it was an interesting conversation to be a part of. Check out their blog and the discussion going on there at WHYS , there are over 300 responses so far! They contacted me via HollaBackCT and asked if i'd be the US speaker in the group. It was actually me and Dr. Pickman from NY representing America :) You can listed to the segment here , through podcast under WHYS: Sexual Harassment. It's a really interesting conversation that brings attention to harassment across the globe and gives voice to women who experience and combat harassment daily. The whole piece is worth checking out but if you're looking for me, i'm only on between 25:55 - 29:40 :)

I wish i had more time to talk. I would have said lots of things starting with the importance and necessity of having these conversations and bringing harassment to light. Too much of the time harassment goes unnoticed or ignored, leaving the target powerless and confused. Harassment is about power, not about sexual attraction. The host asked me if i would be offended if was a coworker of mine and whistled at me during work... um, i don't think it's ever appropriate to whistle at people, especially in a professional setting but him feeling he had the right to do so sets up a power dynamic where he is dominant. I've talked to women around the world who, no matter how they were dressed or what they looked like, have been harassed. Putting the responsibility onto the women to change her appearance will not stop harassment (as some of the callers on the show suggested). What it will do is set up an atmosphere of victim blaming. In my opinion, i don't think women should have to change their behavioral because of others' inability to treat them with respect.

Someone on the segment mentioned that when women dress a certain way, men's "hormonal impulses are triggered" and they can't help themselves. I think that's bogus. That doesn't give men any credit for the ability to control themselves. I know many hetero men that are respectful to women and would never blame their hormonal impulses for an inappropriate response.

The host also asked questions specifically about how women should respond to sexual harassment. One guest on the show mentioned she would "smack" the guy. I don't know if i'd go that far... the host loved her answer because it was so extreme and went around to the group to find out if others thought physical violence was the answer... There are certainly other ways of handling harassment. For example, a tourist in New Zealand was so frustrated by whistles and cat-calls that she was receiving from a group of men repairing on a road that she proceeded to strip out of all her clothes. The police did not approve of her response to the harassment and apprehended her saying that her actions were, "inappropriate in New Zealand" (but apparently it isn't inappropriate to whistle at and cat-call a perfect stranger...) I think asking about appropriate responses neglects context. An appropriate response for an American woman is completely different than one for a woman in Saudi Arabia where women have much fewer rights. Feeling safe is also a consideration. An appropriate response has a lot to do with how safe the target feels to report it or take action, and again, this varies through communities, countries, ethnicities, etc. What are your thoughts?

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September 4, 2008 6:36 PM

[0+]  p0w3rful said:

That's great you participated! I admit I'm jealous. They contacted me too but at an e-mail account I only check once a day, so I got it 30 minutes after the segment aired. I was so disappointed! I wrote on the blog at least... I'm thrilled at how much news coverage street harassment has gotten the last few years. I've found nearly 20 articles just from this year.

I absolutely think that for street harassment and rape, the responsibility to prevent it too often is left to women alone. instead of addressing & fixing why men harass and rape women, women are told not to do this or to do that. but my struggle is how to reach out to men in a way that they will listen and comprehend and not get completely defensive!!!

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September 5, 2008 2:35 PM

[0+]  Dominique said:

There is no response possible unless you have power. Then, you put the guy in his place. Otherwise, he will keep harassing you and good luck with human rights commissions (81 per cent of complaints don't even get examined, let alone lead to a finding for the victim). If the guy is unpopular with superiors you can point out his behaviour to them and they will probably take your side. That might be the only other alternative. HR will only punish you instead.

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September 5, 2008 2:45 PM

[0+]  Dominique said:

Quote:
"my struggle is how to reach out to men in a way that they will listen and comprehend and not get completely defensive!!!"

They won't. Men who harass women quite specifically don't *want* to "listen and comprehend". That's why they're harassing you, instead of being polite or something.

The reason they are getting defensive is because this is a calculated strategy to make you look like the bad guy for objecting to anything they do. Works, doesn't it? It's like they're saying: "Look at the big bad mean oppressive woman who won't let me humiliate her. I'm so persecuted!"

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