It's not being too sensitive. If they don't know how to have fun and tell jokes without being blatantly sexist, it's their own failure, not yours for refusing to put up with it. All the same, it's so prevalent in social gaming culture that I doubt you'll be too popular for making mention of it. Maybe try harder than your leader to put together something not full of douchebags. . .?

Say something and, if they don't correct their language, vote with your feet. I have left groups before when they used the terms "bitch" and "rape" repeatedly after being asked to stop. Sometimes gamers/people don't realize how triggering that can be for some of us. For example, on one night when I wasn't playing, but my husband was with voice on - the raid leader was explaining strategy then fighting and repeatedly used the phrases "rape that bitch" and "gang rape her" with others chiming in in agreement. Even though my husband asked them to stop and then left the group because he was also offended, it was really too late for me. I spent the evening in that high-adrenalin back-to-the-moment I was assaulted state.

It is a standing policy for me that if people use offensive language around me in game I will politely ask them to refrain from sexist/racist/etc. terms. If they refuse or continue to use that language - I will leave the group and will not group with those people again.

I am there to play and have fun. I am not there to listen to hate-filled speech.

Just wanted you to know you aren't the only one out there.

Just leave, you're terribad and no one would want to group with you anyways.

Please don't bring your other female guild members into this, because I'd bet they don't care, and even use the language themselves. Last thing I would want is some hypersensitive girl making me and the rest of the girls in the group/guild look bad because she bursts into tears at the word "bitch".

I don't think anyone's "bursting into tears". I think they're expecting people to pay attention to the words they use. Why is it always the people who aren't doing anything wrong that have to change?

Why should a bunch of people who don't have tissue thin skin have to change to suit you?

If you don't like it, leave the guild, that's all there is to it. No one is forcing you to play with them.

I will, however, give you points for the punalicious nature of your title, although I'm sure you didn't do it intentionally.

Only two points, though, as I have many times referred to Nexus-Prince Shaffar in MT as a bitch.

Because he is.

Jamie, it's best to not bait the troll, especially when it's one that freely admits to being one.

Oh, you got me profound. Exposed!

As if it's not perfectly obvious.

I think it's very strange that 'gay' is seen for the hate speech that it is, but bitch and rape are not. I've heard this complaint from many women gamers and it seems that most of the guys who play just don't get it at all.

I have no advice, not being a gamer myself, but I'm throwing my support out there for you.

Oh, nerd sexism! It sounds like you're doing great with the situation, Nightingale. I'm not a gamer, but I'm a geek, and I do plenty of stuff which involves hanging out with groups of testosterone driven dudes. I know it can be hard to deal with this sort of stuff, because you don't want to let it pass but you don't want some overly defensive ass like our troll friend up there to jump you for it and ruin your fun.

Personally, I don't usually complain much about the word 'bitch.' It's annoying and the sexist connotations are clear, but people I know use it with such indiscriminate gender-neutrality and in such a general, non-gendered way that it's kind of beside the point--I pick my battles elsewhere. But that varies by community, and it sounds like this guy was using 'bitch' in a much more specific sense. I'm glad you talked to him.

"Rape" really gets to me, though. It makes me uncomfortable, and I can't help but see it as a way to devalue the importance of actual rape in a day and age when rape victims get discredited and humiliated all too often and many of their attackers go free. I remember wanting to speak up when I was new to a certain club, but being too uncertain. Luckily for me, at least one person in the group was sensitive enough to notice my discomfort and considerate enough to say something, albeit tactlessly.

Now I usually settle for saying something along the lines of "Hey, on behalf of those of us with vaginas..." or just hitting them.

My only real advice is always approach it with a sense of humor. That doesn't mean don't take it seriously, but it's okay to tease them. Banter. Mock, without being aggressive. Put the joke on them.

I dunno about WoW, but Alma in the original Ninja Gaiden was hard as fuck to beat.

So, I play WoW.

Because your guild seems light on the inappropriate comments and even banned someone for saying a BG was ‘gay,’ I’m gonna say that you should talk to your guild leader. Let him know that his choice of words, and the language sometimes used by guild members leads to a hostile environment.

This wouldn’t really work in most guilds. Most of the time, there are some mildly offensive comments, but I let ‘bitch’ and ‘gay’ go. They are so engrained in the young gamer male vernacular, that any attempt to rid them of it will only give me a bad reputation. As a kind of “guild elder” and a decent player, I gained respect in my guild. So when a new member started saying offensive things in guild chat, I called him on it. Some of the guys backed me up. But this was patently offensive sexism, whereas, the offensiveness of ‘bitch’ is debated in most circles.

But anyway, good luck. I’m glad you are in a guild that is close to your ideal though. There are some guilds out there that have really nasty guild chat, and others that have really strict language rules.

Personally, I don't usually complain much about the word 'bitch.' It's annoying and the sexist connotations are clear, but people I know use it with such indiscriminate gender-neutrality and in such a general, non-gendered way that it's kind of beside the point

I don’t play WoW anymore, but when I was playing, the word ‘bitch’ was used on both male and female bosses alike and also on male toons. Yes, the term is problematic and has sexist connotations, but I just want to state that like Ganieda, I have seen it thrown around without regard to gender.

But then again, perhaps it was just the parties and guilds that I was in.