I have never felt so stupid, ignorant, and useless as I do right now.
I went to Planned Parenthood today. I should have known something was up when I called to make an appointment the first time. They didn't even ask me what days would be good, what times, etc., just told me a time and date and told me to show up. I was lucky and it didn't interfere with my work schedule.
I went in and filled out paperwork. No big deal, everything was going fine. They called me back to talk to me. I told them I had depression and thyroid problems. They asked me what kind of thyroid problems. I told them that honestly, I don't know because my current doctor won't explain anything to me. She gave me pills and told me to take them. That's all I know. They asked me about my period. I told them it was incredibly irregular and that I had just had my first period of six months. They asked me if I wanted to take a pregnancy test. I said no, I had just taken one. Well, they insisted I take one again. Even though it wasn't even a full week since my last one. I took it, and of course, it came back negative.
I told them I wanted a pap smear, and STI panel, and to discuss my options for birth control. They then told me the only STI they tested for was gonorrhea and chlamydia. That's it, I would have to go to a different doctor for the others. I was frustrated, but said okay.
Then came the breast exam and pap smear. I didn't get to meet the doctor doing it until I took off my clothes and got ready. I did that. She came in to give me a breast exam. I warned her that I have a cyst in my left breast, and that it hadn't changed for years, I check it regularly. I told her I'd had it checked out before. She told me it might be cancer anyway. When I pulled up my shirt for the breast exam, she sighed and gave me a disapproving look when she saw that my nipples were pierced.
During the pap smear, she did not tell me what she was going to do before she did it. I was laying there, waiting for her to say something, and the next thing I know, I have a too large speculum without any lube being pushed into me. She added a small amount of lube and continued to use the too large speculum. She did her smear, then continued the examination. I already have bruises forming on the skin around my pelvic bone where she was pushing on me, and I can tell you that I don't bruise very easily at all.
I told her I was interested in a diaphram, so she said she would fit me. She took 45 minutes to fit me, the entire time scraping her fingernails (through her gloves) across my insides. I know for a fact she scratched my cervix because I looked at it when I got home. It felt like she was literally trying to pull my cervix out of me. I told her she was hurting me and she assured me that I was just uncomfortable and that it didn't really hurt. After she got it in, she had me walk around a bit to see if it was uncomfortable. I told her no, so she took it out and told me to put it back in, and she would leave while I did this. She gave me some jelly and turned to leave. I asked her for a hand-mirror, she asked me why I needed one with a surprised look on her face, then walked out.
I couldn't get the diaphram in, and told her so when she came back inside. She sighed and said they could ship one to my house and I could practice there. I told her I didn't want one anymore, thanks (by this point I was close to crying). I asked if we could discuss other birth control options.
I told her from the get-go NO PILLS. I've tried them before, and each time have horrible side effects. I told her I couldn't take POPs because I have chronic fatigue and my sleep schedule is very messed up. I asked about the patch and was told I was too overweight for it. I asked about the ring, and she offered to show me how to put it in, and that it was like putting in a diaphram. I didn't want to go through that again so I said nevermind. I asked about the IUD, and she said my uterus was too small. I asked about the implant, and she said they didn't do those. I asked her to teach me how to keep track of my ovulation so I knew when not to have sex (I also told her we ALWAYS use condoms and the pull-out method. She rolled her eyes when I said the pull-out method), and she told me that since I wasn't mature enough to handle POPs, she didn't think I was mature enough to handle keeping track of my ovulation. I tried reminding her it wasn't that I wasn't MATURE enough to do the POPs, it was just that I have a very hectic and irregular sleeping pattern, but that taking my temperature and keeping track of my cervical mucus, etc. I could do. She said no, and told me that the only option I really had was the pill. I reminded her that I had tried the pill and didn't like it. She said "Well, we'll just mess around till we find the right one," wrote down a prescrip and walked out of the room.
Now I'm home, sore because she was rough with me, bleeding, even though I've never bled from a pap before, and crying because I feel like I was stupid to even go in there, and that none of them respected me.
Ugh. Sorry, I needed to rant a bit. This was Planned Parenthood. I expected respect. My family doctor, while rude, was 99.999% better than this visit.
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Hey there,
I'm so sorry you have had such an awful experience. It sounds like you're a smart girl, who does her homework, and while no one deserves this kind treatment, it always hurts more when you know it's wrong.
I'm compiling some resources about doctors and clinics and such - would you care to get in touch with me so I can record the whereabouts of your PP and the doctor's name?
Thanks so much,
Casey
What a callous asshole.
Hope that you're feeling better.
That is so awful. I'm really sorry.
I totally understnad your frustration with the pill. I've tried several different ones for various reasons, and each time I've had bad side effects. Yet, when I had an extremely irregular period this year (about six months without one), my doctor, whom I greatly respect and trust, told me that I had to go on the pill again. I know that's not the only solution, it just happens to be the most convenient for her. It seems like some doctors just don't want to listen to their patients, and that's lame.
Ugh. I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience, and at Planned Parenthood, no less. Maybe you could call their administrative offices in your city and report this jerk.
I'm sorry to say, because I support Planned Parenthood very strongly, that I've had a couple less than optimal experiences at Planned Parenthood. None of my could hold a candle to yours but I did have one pelvic exam which involved so much scraping that I cried when I got into my car (and at that point in my life I'd had lots of experience with pelvic exams). Also, I've come across some pretty ignorant staff. I wonder how the pay at PP is for medical staff . . .
If you can, I think you should report this creep.
I agree, you should probably report her. I'm so sorry for what you went through, though unfortunately it doesn't sound like that is very unusual. My mother told me she had her last gyno examination about 20 years ago and never went for another again because it was so traumatising. Jeez, all these stories make me nervous.
This is horrible, I"m so sorry this happened to you. Please contact Planned Parenthood at the state and national levels with this doctor's name, location, and this story. You should not be treated this way.
I wonder if the crappy doctor was due to depleted government funding?
I kept waiting for the punchline to be "It turned out I had been tricked and it wasn't a Planned Parenthood." Wow. Pelvic exams and pap smears suck even with a competent doctor, so I'm sending you good vibes and internet hugs. And you should definitely report her. Is that the only PP in your area?
Casey - I would be glad to help you if I can. After the fact, I talked to some other women I know and almost all that have gone to this particular PP have had experiences similar to mine. I'd rather some unsuspecting, scared little girl not have to deal with what we have.
To all that suggested reporting her - I believe I may. I'm going in to see another doctor (at a completely different location) on Wednesday, and she told me that if I feel comfortable with it, she would like to document any scraping, bruising, etc. for me to use if I needed to. She's also going to talk to me about my thyroid situation (finally!).
I would have been upset about the situation if anyone where to do it, but I think the fact that it happened at a PP made it much worse, because I also strongly, strongly support PP and WANT girls and women to be able to go there without feeling threatened, attacked, or abused. I wish I could do something about it other than just tattling (as it feels to me).
gopher & Alexandra - I too am wondering how these doctors are paid and how much it effects the way they treat their patients.
Nettle Syrup - To be honest, this is the first bad experience I've ever had. Before this, everyone's always been kind to me, albeit I've had a slight amount of slut-shaming. It really isn't usually so bad, and if it's the right doctor, like one of my previous ones (she moved), they're very patient, explain everything, and make sure you're completely comfortable the entire time.
Thank you to everyone for your kind words. I'm feeling a lot better now, still a bit shaken, but much better. I've never been sexually assaulted, raped, molested, etc., but I feel like I can somewhat empathize more (not nearly on their scale of course, what happened to me is nothing close to rape. I just can more understand the idea of abused & tossed aside).
Again, thanks to everyone. I'm glad I could vent to like-minded people?
Geobqn - Yep, it's the only one around. I was kind of waiting for that too when I was in the office. I was leaving, thinking to myself, "I didn't walk into the CPC across the street on accident, did I?"
You should not feel stupid, ignorant, OR useless. Those emotions should be reserved for the doctor who violated you this way.
I know you said that you're going to see another gyno this week, and I have so much respect for you to be able to see another doctor so soon after this traumatizing experience.
There's just one thing I wanted to tell you though, that might aid you in your quest for reliable birth control that you like and suits your lifestyle.
I use nuvaring, and its insertion is NOTHING like a diaphragm. You just pinch it and push it in. Location is not important to its efficacy so long as its comfortable for you. I never feel my nuvaring unless I don't push it up quite high enough. It's akin to inserting a tampon. I've read of women using a tampon applicator to put nuvaring in, actually. So if you are still interested in nuvaring, I give it the highest recommendation.
Don't rest until you find a doctor that you are comfortable with and provides you with a positive experience. Slut-shaming is absolutely appalling, and quite frankly I think doctors should just be glad that they have honest patients.
Good luck dear! I wish you the best!
i was just about to comment and suggest nuvaring as well. I've never worn a diaphragm, but I imagine that it would be a lot more difficult than the ring, which is the easiest birth control I've been on. And has the least amount of side effects, as far as I can tell (the patch was the worst).
I'm sorry you had such an awful experience, and I would also put it my support for reporting this doctor to whoever you can. I hope you're feeling better!
I can understand your hesitation about POPs, particularly since you suffer from chronic fatigue syndrom. I gather that your concern is with the rigid scheduling it requires? That was my primary concern (I have irregular sleeping habits and found it challenging to determine what time I was least likely to be asleep). For that reason I never filled the perscription given to me after my 3rd abortion.
After my 4th unwanted pregnancy I finally decided to give them a try, and I've been really pleased with it (Jolivette). I don't mean to dismiss your concerns or suggest that I can speak with authority on your personal health matters. But I do think they make the scheduling requirement out to be worse than it is, and in doing so scare off people (like me) who would really benefit from it.
The reason I say this is NOT because I doubt their claim that it won't work if taken 3 or more hours late; I trust they know what they're talking about and when I miss my time window for taking the pill, I follow the precautionary measures as instructed in the medication insert. But here's the thing... you only have to take it for two days in order for it to be effective. That means if you forgot to take in time, you have to use a back up method for 48 hours (not 7 days, like with estrogen pills).
I have also heard of women taking several PO pills instead of Plan B as a morning after pill with favorable results, but that's something you'd have to look into before trying. I'm not sure how much progestin would be needed, but I have used plan b a few times and it didn't wreak havoc on my body like depro-provera did (which I wouldn't recommend to anyone).
A few final points- taking your temp to determine ovulation only works to get pregnant (not to prevent pregnancy) because you can get pregnant if you ovulate within 48 hours of having unprotected sex. The calendar method is only as reliable as your cycle is regular. This is where taking basal temperature could be useful- to determine when in your cycle you ovulate and if you do so regularly. I got pregnant twice from having sex the day after my period ended (both times thinking it was too soon to worry about it).
The withdrawl method isn't too bad as long as he pulls out a good minute or two before climaxing and finishes by hand (either his or yours). Where you get into trouble is with the last minute pull-out.
In any case, I wish you the best of luck, and I'm sorry to hear that you had such a bad experience.