Thanks for this post.

When I first read the news report about what Sparks said, I was a bit appalled. The term "slut" serves no useful function in a society that pretends to have moved toward more balanced views of human sexuality.

Some people I know protest "Oh, but I use it for men as well as women, so there's nothing wrong with it!" If you use this term, pause a spell for some introspection.

"Slut" is used for one reason: to condemn people (historically women, but increasingly men as well) for their choices to have sex. Is there really a need in our society for this type of term? Truly? Does society benefit from mocking and hurling abuse at people who have had sex? (If so, cast the Slut-Stone at yourself, since most Americans, though yet unmarried, have had sex. And if you are one of the minority of Americans who did not have sex until marriage, why not take a page from Jesus' book and make friends with the woman at the well, not abuse her for having made a different life choice?)

Sparks--whom I believe has grown up Evangelical Protestant Christian--has fallen into the trap I, as a youngster did. Although I masturbated since toddlerhood and enjoyed sexually arousing imagery and literature throughout my school years, I viewed those things--and myself--as separate from the realm of "sex," and decried as "promiscuous" those who did not follow my choice to abstain from coupled sex. It wasn't till after university that I realized the harm in this position.

I'm dismayed that this society still indoctrinates children with a fear of "Choice" centered sexuality, to the point that they, like Sparks, feel the choice to have sex with another is deserving of an epithet.

I don't know who Jordan Sparks is or where she came from, but a friend sent me that clip and I was also weirded out.

I like that in her head, you're abstinent or a slut. Way to promulgate that virgin-whore dichotomy and make loads of young people feel bad about themselves and judge each other.

I saw that she said that, and was appalled. So, I'm a slut because I’m not married and I've had sex with one person? Right…

Sex before marriage!= slut

Having sex with lots and lots of people makes you a slut, but that doesn't mean it is a bad thing.

Mmmm, looking up the definition of slut, I am not satisfied with my statement.

slut –noun
1. a dirty, slovenly woman.
2. an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.
(I love that both definitions are gendered and one brings morality into play)

I think the definition should be:
slut –noun –nonderogatory
1. person who has had or has sex with many people

Being a slut should not be a bad thing.

Jordin Sparks sucks.

The end.

Sparks was upset about the host's jabs at the Jonas Brothers for wearing purity rings. The host (Russell Brand) came back later and apologized on-air after Sparks' comment.

Her choice of words bothered me as well. Just because a teen doesn't wear a promise ring doesn't mean he/she is a slut. And just because someone has sex before marriage doesn't make them a slut either. That's common sense.

But I guess here feelings were hurt, and she felt the need to defend herself and other promise ring supporters. She just didn't do it very well.

When I heard what Jordan Sparks said, I had that same reaction for a second and then I thought who gives a shit really; then I was a little annoyed that the comedian felt he needed to apologize for the joke then I thought, it was a joke, get over it and really who gives a shit.

I'm sorry, I just don't get the whole Jonas Brother's phenomenon, but really, who gives a...

Be well, CF

Femgineer,

I think that the word slut has evolved so many disparaging definitions that it's one of those words that should not be reclaimed. When most people hurl the word "slut" they are trying to diminish the humanity and value of a person, and more times than not that person is female. It is a word that is used to actively shame and victimize a person. It is a word given to someone (primarily female) that uses sex for anything other than the pure unadulterated pleasure of another.

I can't ever think of the term slut in a neutral or positive way. And I can't think of one reason why quantifying the number of partners that someone has had with any sort of umbrella term would be beneficial, necessary or edifying.

She's a kid... she was trying to defend them when they were getting some crap for their purity thing (which IS really goddamn annoying... stupid bible belt fake virgins...) so she engaged in a little hyperbole. But, y'know, she's... a kid. Also, she's 19 years old and a little on the heavy side (not my judgement, she's just a plus-size model, so I'm gonna run with it) and at that age issues with sex are so overwrought, and being in the music business as a woman of color and having a larger frame has got to be tough, so give her a little forgiveness for maybe some defensiveness about her own sexuality?

oh, also, let's give her some credit for taking out the gender of the word 'slut'- in the context in which she used it, it was evenly applied to men and women, so, y'know, striking a blow for gender equality and against double standards and all that...

For real. He was just joking. Like he really had sex with one of the Jonas Brothers. It showed them laughing at his jokes. Maybe Jordin Sparks should just get a sense of humor and keep her offensive thoughts to herself.

I have no problem whatsoever with Jordin more power to her. She is a breath of fresh air from skanky Brit and em shoved down our throat.

It was great for her to stand up for individuals rights to control their own sexuality, but I wish she could have left of the last part where uses the word slut. It just goes back to the virgin-whore complex that women have to deal with. if your not "pure," then someone could interpret your behavior as slutty. We all know that it is wrong and problematic, especially with the double standards between men and women. I just wish that Jordin Sparks could have been above that and didn't have to use slut to make herself feel better about her choice.

So now we'll simply extend the slut/virgin binary to include males and call it good. Of course, accepting this kind of false dilemma is easier, or should I say intellectually lazy? It's too bad that young people can't explore and develop their own sexuality in an environment that allows for more than just virgins and sluts, Jordins and Brits. Just one more reason to turn the TV the fuck off.

I say this I rather see the little goofy ring than someone flash their cooch at me, all I'm saying.

Flash,

Nineteen is far from being a "kid." By that age a person is more than old and mature enough to know that the way to defend a lifestyle is not to insult every choice save that one.

Lala:

I get what you're saying but you're not doing it very well, same as Jordin. Yes, Britney is no role model but calling her skanky is unnecessary. And how is Jordin a "breath of fresh air"? Because she wears panties? Remember, so did Brit for her first few years of fame...just sayin'. And to me, a nasty attitude like Jordin's is worse than bad clothing choices.

Like others said, I have no problem with Jordin defending her choice, but tacking on an insult to someone else's choice was unnecessary and childish. It's like "Nyah nyah, I'm better than you!" Plus, I'm sure out of all of her fans, some of them are not waiting till marriage...so she just called probably a good portion of her fanbase sluts. Nice going.

Yeah, obviously we had a problem with her comments. She easily could have defended her own views without sarcastically (and inaccurately) shaming and criticizing anyone with a different view.

Just going back to the "reclaiming slut" comment. I'm a very big fan of reclaiming the word. In my view, the word slut can mean pretty much anything when hurled as an insult, and usually things that should not be viewed as shameful. If I choose to refer to myself as a slut, and someone chooses to take that the wrong way, I have really no interest in that person's opinion. On the other hand, if I refer to myself as a slut and someone goes "Hh, hey, why are you calling yourself that?" that's usually the kind of person I'd like to talk to. I've had many conversations about the power of words, and this is one particularly stinging one, but I don't think that means it's impossible to reclaim.

Sars at Tomato Nation has a great essay about it, if you haven't already read it : http://tomatonation.com/?p=592

tornado ali,

I'll definitely check out that essay. I guess what I meant was that it shouldn't be reclaimed as something used in mass exchange. I don't know if that makes sense...I guess, not used toward other people in this particular social climate. Using it as a self-declarative or among a circle of friends, or perhaps to a broader like minded community, is one thing. I'm trying not to be close-minded on this, truly. But, then again, I've had many issues with reconciling reclaimed words in context with the oppression of the total climate. I'm not closed to the idea of reclaiming words, I just have a hard time seeing how it would be beneficial for this particular one. But, I'll read the essay, perhaps I'll glean some understanding.

I would like to continue this conversation, I find it an interesting one.

I'm not defending Sparks' use of the term "slut" but I read Brand's supposed apology--and found it snide, sarcastic and insincere. Definitely a non-apology.

Apparently everyone has flipped out over the jokes that host Russell Brand made about the Jonas Brothers, but I was more offended by Jordan Sparks slut statement than I was over anything that Brand said. Not to mention, I think it goes without saying that those purity rings are probably just a silly publicity stunt anyway. I grew up in the Bible belt, and a lot of girls that I went to school with wore those purity rings, and even then I knew that it was ridiculous. I wasn't getting laid either, but you didn't see me bragging about it! I thought that someone's sex life was supposed to be a personal and private matter. I don't really care to know about one's sex life or lack there of so I don't understand the point of the advertisement.

Tornado Ali: I was just about to link to that essay! Another good example is the book The Ethical Slut, which is a guide for the polyamorous.

Funnily enough, I posted on this very topic a few hours ago. I, too, was deeply vexed by the comment. Yeah, taking shots at the Jonas Brothers's chastity was pretty cheap, but going so far as to say that it's "CHASTITY RING OR SLUTDOM!" is even worse, in my books.

It's like "HELLO VIRGIN/SLUT DICHOTOMY" all over again, you know?

Maybe I'm an extremist, but I find the whole idea of calling purity rings "purity rings" offensive. It's just another way of saying that those of us who don't wait for marriage are "sluts", without using the word "slut".

I find the whole idea of purity laughable, anyway. None of us are purely anything, good or bad. But when you call virgins "pure", it implies that their choice not to have sex outside of marriage is makes them morally superior to those who don't, and says that what a person does in other areas of his or her life is irrelevant. A virgin who bullies schoolmates can be called "pure", while a non-virgin who devotes time to help others is "impure"?

I think we need to stop labeling people based on their sexual choices, period, and throw the word
"pure" out the door right along with the word "slut".

Purity ring sounds way too much like the chastity league in Orwell's 1984 to me.

Staying chaste until marriage sounds to me like the biggest case of wishful thinking in the world---kind of like signing the prom promise in high school. If an individual was able to make an informed decision to not engage in sex that would be one thing, but all too often the concept is force fed to its audience along with a generous dollop of guilt and shame.

What I hate about these situations the most is that it's always aimed at the girls. No-one is going to say that young boys need to stop pushing girls to have sex (because, lets face it; it usually is the teen boys wanting the sex more than their girlfriends) but it's more, if you give in to your bf's peer prssuring my god you're a slut! How I hate double standards...

Society always has to put labels on people. It is just something they do to make them selves feel comfy in their own skin. Jordan Sparks although she is a celebrity, is also a normal human being and has views about the topic of purity like many other people might have but because she is on national tv talking about it, it is blown up into a bigger issue. Maybe the real issue isn't that a celebrity stated her views about this topic on national television but that even though so many years have past, people's views about women and their sexual choices have not changes as much as we think they have.
Maybe, people are still concerned with how things were looked at in the past and refuse to see that in this day and age sex before marraige is not something that should be looked on as a negative issue.

I was wondering when this story was going to appear on Feministing. I was appalled by what Jordin Sparks said. Don't get me wrong-- people should be able to wear promise rings/decide to save themselves for marriage without being ridiculed. Sex is an extremely personal decision and everyone should handle it in a way that is right for them, despite what other people say about when you should or should not lose your virginity. And if you choose to have premarital sex, you should not be ridiculed for that decision either. Jordin sparks is demanding respect for her choices while disrespecting others' and that is wrong, plain and simple.

I don't agree at all, The Flash.

She's not a kid, she is, in fact, a plus sized model, but I wouldn't describe her as heavy as she is 6'1 and inherited her father's build. So yeah, she has a large frame, but I wouldn't describe her as overweight at all (despite America's currently ridiculous beauty ideals) and she has a built in fan base from the people who you know, voted her the winner of American Idol.

That said, I find her INCREDIBLY annoying, and fake, and lost respect for her ever since I found out that she made an appearance at a pro-life rally. Geez, if you don't want abortion, don't have one, but don't try to deny other women their rights.

Also, why is no one commenting on this Russell Brand's comments? I don't see how it was acceptable for him to make fun of the Jonas kids to have purity rings. I don't think anyone would have laughed if he had made fun of a girl in a similar situation.

The whole situation sucked, and I get the impression that nobody really thought their comments through. Not Russell, not Jordin, nobody. So you have people blurting out dumb things and pissing people off.

VMA? Was that some sort of academic conference? In any event, I've never read Professor Sparks' dissertation.

To me a slut is someone who fucks/fools around for attention. I don't care if chicks or dudes have sex -- more power to them for getting it on if it's safely and healthy.

It doesn't matter if you use the term when referring to males as well as females, SLUT is still an insult to females, and calling a male a slut is still an awful lot like saying he hits or throws like a girl, IMO. The only times I can recall slut being applied to a male was when they were applied to a very much out and rather stereotypically flaming gay male. I'm sure there have been other times, but it doesn't seem to have the same sting as when applied to females, or the irony?/humor? when applied to my gay friend. I'd rather just get rid of the word, because even when applied to males, it's still a judgment based on the number of sexual partners one has or is perceived to have. Either way, the more someone sleeps around, the more of a slut they are, and it doesn't do us any good in moving toward a sex-positive culture.

Who the fuck is Jordin Sparks?

Amazing! All the abuse toward Jordan because she said the word "slut".

Where are you people and all of your outrage with all of the MTV videos that have Rappers portraying women with little clothing, making sexual advances, using "hos" and "bitches" like it is everyday language.

Really!

Oh, come on, I wasn't suggesting they give academic proposals. But there's a difference between generally having an idea of what you're going to say, and blurting out something you think up at the last second in front of millions of people, which is the impression I got.

Amazing! All the abuse toward Jordan because she said the word "slut".

Where are you people and all of your outrage with all of the MTV videos that have Rappers portraying women with little clothing, making sexual advances, using "hos" and "bitches" like it is everyday language.

Really!

@ moni - we (meaning feminist blogs overall) talk about those things all the time! A quick search will reveal that.

Really!

She didn't just say "slut." She called all single, non-married sexually active individuals sluts because they are not abstinent.

I have to agree that bitches and hos is talked about here. and really, my reason for thinking that slut should die rather than be "gender neutral" which I don't ever think it really is, even if people try to use it that way-is that it's always seemed to me to mean "someone who has sex with more people than I approve of" and really, does it matter who approves of how many people I have sex with? no.

I found the comment really annoying too, as well as the snide self righteous way it was delivered. That said, I do think it was reactionary to feeling that chastity was being attacked (whether the feeling was warranted or not). I personally hate purity rings because of the term "purity" which seems to imply that those choosing not to wait are somehow "dirty". I also feel that those wearing the rings are trying to broadcast their decision because they feel it is the "right" one instead of the right one for them.

I knew somehow somewhere that old whipping boy rap would get pulled out, that train is never late.

Lala, you're pretty damn funny, gal/guy! That train is never late, indeed. Keep the pithy catchphrases coming (and don't hate if I borrow one or two of 'em)...

Well said tornado_ali. I read your comment and thought of you and then I looked down and realized it was you! lol.

I know people got offended by Russel Brand's jokes (when in my opinion there should have been more of an outcry over Jordin's slut-shaming). I know Russel is mildly offensive and obnoxious alot of the time, bt it's part of his persona and in his defence he never made any comments abot the purity rings that I found out of line. He joked that he'd take the rings more seriously if they wore them on their genitals (because really, they do bear a certain similarity to chastity belts). He also JOKED that it was ungrateful for them not to have sex when they could sleep with so many female fans and that is was like superman deciding to take the bus. He never said people who wear chastity rings are losers who couldn't get any anyway. Besides, people who wear purity rings instead of letting their abstinence be a personal private matter