When traveling to Costa Rica to film our first Galavanting webisode, we had a ton of fun and adventure. While Costa Rica is a very safe destination for women travelers, we also, of course, encountered the subtle sexism every woman traveler has no doubt experienced. You know what I'm talking about. For instance, take the guy who when I was just about to rappel off of a jungle waterfall asked, “Do you want one of the men to carry your camera equipment [backpack] down for you?”
“Nah”, I responded, “They’re all scared shitless and I’m about to rock this.” Then I flexed one of my muscles and leapt off the waterfall. He didn’t know I was from Colorado…or a Feministing reader.
Just goes to show, women don’t just have to prove themselves on the job, but even while on vacation!
Now, I know this guy was well meaning and all, but I didn’t hear him ask the dudes if they needed help without knowing their level of skill…
But we’re working on changing the way the media talks about women travelers, and the way advertisers and tour operators perceive us. And most importantly -- we’re working on empowering women to take up the space they deserve and to take the world by storm.
Our first webisode features Costa Rica. It’s a very affordable place to visit, and in this economy that’s important. Along with the webisode, we also have a (free) online Costa Rica travel guide with details on everything from budgeting to driving and what to pack. It also has our full itinerary, so if you see a place in the video that piques your interest, find it there.
Check it out:
If you have any suggestions of things you’d like to see in the world of women’s travel, let us know in comments and we’ll try and feature it soon.
Also, we get a lot of them asking, but don’t accept article or essays, but do seek submissions from transgender or transsexual women. We’d love to hear your perspective while traveling and your advice for other ladies on making the most of their trip while staying safe.
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I don't have a problem with anyone offering to help me in any way shape or form. I spend so much energy fighting the boys club, the imbalance in hiring, the aaaaagh blatantly stifling sexism, that I'm exhausted and wouldn't mind the offers of help.
I can graciously deny offers.
Back when my breathing was really bad (for most of my life) men, women and children helped me with my stuff as I traveled and documented (ethnographic film).
I'm glad you were able to do it yourself and I'm glad to hear people in Costa Rica are friendly enough to offer help, even where it's probably not needed.
Thanks for your input Hara. In some circumstances, like when I'm trying to get my son's wheelchair up some steps, etc., I don't mind offers of help either. Especially when the person offering is the one who will be helping.
He surely was a friendly Costa Rican (as all of them we encountered were), but in this case, he was offering other peoples' help (who weren't volunteering), which could've caused them problems. And it was all due to my gender: nothing else.
But I should've added that my response to his offer was all in good fun and he found it totally hilarious (because it was). We ended up chatting the rest of the day about the best places to go climbing and rappelling. I even put his laughing face in the video. So fear not, no well-meaning men were harmed in the filming of this webisode :).
Yeah, there's definitely a difference between offering help because someone looks like they need it and offering it simply because they're female.
On a smaller scale, this bugs me about bus/subway seats. If I get on and I'm carrying a large package or have my dog squirming in her carrier and someone offers me their seat, hell yes I'm taking it because I feel you are being kind about the fact that I need it. Much like I will get up for someone who is carrying something heavy/has an injury/is elderly/pregnant or holding a baby/something, gender aside. It's when a perfectly healthy, capable-of-standing, not-carrying-anything woman gets offered a seat that it bugs me. I also observe the dynamics and nearly every time it's a young, thin, traditionally attractive woman who is offered seats; the older/middle-aged, heavier, non-"hot" women are generally left to stand. Which is not only a sexist double standard, but a sizeist, appearance-biased one as well (which, one can argue, grows out of sexism). Thanks, but my vag doesn't render me incapable of keeping my balance on a moving train.
I always get men I'm traveling with offering to carry my trombone for me, and while I appreciate the helpfulness of the gesture, I do often wonder what they're thinking. I've been playing the trombone for 13 years, went to a specialized arts high school for it, and it was my major in college - all of which most guys who know me well enough to offer to carry something for me understand.
And sure, the trombone is kind of a big instrument, but when I'm PLAYING it, I have to hold it at shoulder level, sometimes for hours at a time. I can certainly carry it through an airport. Also, it's very, very valuable to me on so many levels and I like to keep it close to my person. I think that's something that's a lot more likely to be assumed with a male musician and his instrument.
What's really funny about it is that if I'm carrying a shoulder bag, a suitcase and my trombone, guys wanting to help me will almost always go for the trombone first. It feels like they're saying, "that thing is too big for you, little girl, let me help." Which, considering how much sexism (of exactly that type) women low brass players experience, it gets to me.
It's a well-intentioned action, so I have no plans to make a fuss about it, but it does irk me. Especially when they can't take a hint when I try to say, "No, that's okay, I've got it." Sometimes I just want to bark, "Back off! Don't touch the precious!"