We've come a long way from Mad Men -style office secretary groping, but make no mistake--the boys' club is still alive and well. Is there "Girl Power at School, but Not at the Office" ? Hannah Seligson raises that question in her recent New York Times article .
Seligson writes that she grew up feeling empowered in the classroom, but faced a rude awakening when she left college and found herself outside of the "cocoon of equality." After lasting just nine months in her first job, Hannah went on to write New Girl on the Job , a great (in my humble opinion) guide that helps women navigate the areas of the work world that aren't so egalitarian. She urges young women to learn the value of taking risks, to ask for feedback from supervisors, and to flex their bragging and negotiating muscles.
Her tips for women are excellent. But perfectionism and gender stereotyping exist long before that first resume is carefully crafted, at least according the girls I interviewed for You're Amazing . Seligson is right--the women's movement has created more opportunities for girls than they've ever had before. Today, girls' report cards, extracurricular pursuits, and internships are much more likely to match or even outshine the guys' gold stars. Unfortunately, a "cocoon of equality" spun from achievements and accolades is not the safe haven it appears to be when girls are unable to celebrate their successes.
Girls might be playing at the same level as the guys at school, but can we really claim equality when so many of them never feel like they are good enough, smart enough, thin enough, or pretty enough, despite what they accomplish? The perfectionism that leads girls to diet obsessively and others to stay up all night studying (and some to do both) will also hold women captive when it comes time to ask for that raise (Did I work hard enough? Did I do everything I was supposed to do? Do I really deserve this? ). Supergirls will continue to emerge from that cocoon as superwomen until we start working towards an equality that empowers girls and women to own our amazing qualities while we strive to reach our full potential--at school, at the office, and in every aspect of our lives.
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I'm a woman who experiences sexism on every job I take within the film industry.
The boys of this generation do not realize they are part of a boys club, that they are perpetuating it.
Whether it is the conversation I was privy to about the pretty Gaffer and how she could be a distraction. Or the hand on the knee and whisper jokes that secure one womens likelihood of being on the next crew that producer puts together. How 'bout the blatant wage gap-
A woman was offered $50 less for the exact same job a man was offered. Or my own wage and the title I accepted (I blame myself here) Being paid half of what the producers were paid and doing their work because i have experience in their position and they did not. Not until I taught them. And they resent that. So much for job security. the woman with the hand on knee and whispering in the ear has more job security with that prod. co.
Most men f this generation think sexism is a thing of the past and they are not contributing to it.
They are wrong.
I am that pushy female from the film crew, who invited herself to a "beer after work"
more than once, only to be given the stink eye by my oh so progressive male crew members.
I'm the one who called out- "hey, have a nice boys club night out" as the directer took the guy I was training and 3 others out for drinks.
Yeah, I'm that annoyance, that buzzing in the ear that might, just might, wake one or two up. It might, just might pave the way just little bit further, for the next generation of women in film.
Now, lets hope those women are above agism when I am looking to work with them.
I saw this article too and was going to post about it, but I see you beat me to it.
As someone who's spent the past three increasingly miserable years in the disgusting, anti-woman, anti-human cesspool that is a modern law firm, I am infuriated that the Times would actually publish this tripe.
She is NOT giving good advice. Okay? She is doling out excuses for sexism DISGUISED as career advice for women. I cannot tell you how many fucking times I have heard these tired, old, overused, COMPLETELY UNORIGINAL things she is writing, often without even having ASKED for advice (because, clearly, when we gals let off steam about work, what we're really saying is "I don't know how to do my job. Can you please tell me how I need to be even more stressed out than I already am, since I have a vagina? Really, please, I want you to tell me all the things I'm doing wrong so I can start worrying about THOSE, too!")
Gee, I should speak up at work? I should ask for recognition when it's due? Try to include myself in networking events (assuming I'm even made aware that they are HAPPENING)? Why, heavens! What brilliant ideas! I would NEVER have thought those up on my own!!
Oh, wait. Except I have. And -- newsflash! -- they don't work like some magic formula Hannah thinks she's just stumbled upon with her wealth of experience quitting a job after nine months.
And in fact, when I tried doing these things, even *I* was not being original. This is what women were doing in the EIGHTIES, when Hannah and I were still playing with our Barbies. The main difference is we don't wear those horrible shoulder pads anymore.
I mean, get it? The solution to being treated unfairly at work because you're a woman is to... stop being a woman! Come on ladies, man up! Show them your balls are just as big as theirs! (And they won't feel threatened by it or anything!) They'll totally let you join their boys' club -- don't you see, if you can't succeed at work it's only your OWN self-doubt that's holding you back! Couldn't possibly be that everyone else around you constantly doubts you, questions you, criticizes you unfairly, and generally teaches you that to get half the credit of your male peers you have to do twice as much, twice as well as they do! Nope, it's just our silly girly perfectionism that just arose up out of nowhere because we're just too delicate and dainty to handle rejection!
So stop being such pussies, girls! You only have yourself to blame if you can't do it!
God, I kinda wanna wring this girl's neck. And that of the IDIOT editor who sent this to press.
What's missing from Seligson's argument is the acknowledgment of the fact that perfectionism does not magically appear when young women get their college diplomas and enter the workforce. For those who do struggle with it (and there are many), it's something that starts much, much earlier and it's consistently reinforced by the institutionalized sexism that The Law Fairy discusses. The result? Perfectionism gets characterized as a "silly, girly issue" much in the same way that body image, weight preoccupation, and eating disorders have received the same brush off.
I agree with Seligson's point that perfectionism often paralyzes women in the workplace AND I agree with The Law Fairy's cry of b.s when we get into a blame game scenario that puts all the responsibility squarely on women's shoulders. As I see it, the plain and simple fact is that these are not issues that women can or should be expected to "solve" on our own.
Love you Hara! The tv/film industry needs an army of women like you! I've read a whole lot about the blatant sexism in Hollywood. I originally started out achieving a university degree in broadcasting/digital video and as I was considering a career in this field I wanted to know the reality of womens situations in the industry. Pretty fucking fucked up is the conclusion I came to after reading about it. I still havent decided whether or not to continue with my original emphasis (my current one is advertising/PR), but if I should I'd be happy to meet and work with others like you!