OK, so I like weddings as much as the next person, honestly.
But religious weddings are like opening a completely new can of worms on what constitutes a "legitimate" marriage and never-ending love...especially when they're Catholic weddings.
A friend of the family got married in this beautiful cathedral in Detroit today, and I attended with my mom and sister. And of course I teared up when the bride and groom walked down the aisle (because I'm a huuuuuge sap) and smiled through their surprisingly egalitarian vows (none of this "obey your hubby" junk), and hoped in my heart that this marriage will not someday become yet another failed statistic.
However, I definitely cringed when the priest presented "Mister And Missus Joseph Wyrembelski!" Umm, do you automatically forfeit your identity when you join in Holy Matrimony? Because the last time I checked, the bride's name is actually Leslie. Honestly, HOW hard is it to say "Mister and Missus Joseph and Leslie Wyrembelski," or heaven forbid, "Mister and Missus Leslie and Joseph Wyrembelski"?
But that wasn't what got me most of all...they selected a New Testament passage that happens to be Catholics' fave for citing their belief that "MARRIAGE IS TOTES ONLY FOR HETERO PPL, SRY HOMOS"...y'know, the one that goes like:
"From the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh."
-KJV Mark 10:6-8
Yeah, they've really said all they need to say. You can only be recognised in the blissful throes of love as a man and a woman, because that's the way God dictated it. Two become one only works with certain types of chromosomes, two partners sharing a life together only works if you're of the opposite sex. It's this garbage that led to a 20-minute argument with my mom about why I don't respect church doctrine, why I (if I ever get married) will never have a ceremony in a Catholic cathedral, why I think this religious stuff is offensive and complete garbage.
And my mom's only reply is, "Laura, you're going to see outside of Michigan State that people are different, and that there are a lot of people that are like this, and when you're outside of an environment where you don't have these strange things."
"Strange things." Yeah, she went there. And she has no idea how close to home she really hits with that remark. Even if she is quick to shroud it in "BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I HATE GAY PEOPLE OR DON'T WANT THEM TO GET MARRIED", she's already done the damage. She's already reaffirmed exactly why, as a disgruntled semi-closeted bisexual feminist, I sat squirming uncomfortable and excluded in the church today.
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I know how you feel. I recently tagged along with my boyfriend to one of his high school friend's wedding. It was performed in the Baptist church he and his family used to attend and the entire situation was very uncomfortable. There wasn't even dancing at the reception, because dancing is devil's work dontcha know...
You're lucky your mom is at least somewhat pro-gay, even if you haven't come out of the closet to her yet. Both me and my step-sister are bisexual feminists as well, and she recently came out to our parents. My mother is extremely homophobic, and her dad isn't much better honestly. When talking to my mom about it on the phone, she told me that they were actually considering putting her on some anti depressants or some other pills in the hopes that it would "help." I flat out told her there was no cure for bisexuality or homosexuality, and that the fact that they were even thinking about that was extremely offensive.
Oh. Don't even get me started on weddings. They're completely crazy. The average wedding in 2007 cost 30 thousand dollars. That's a really nice car. Almost half my student loans. I don't really care how other people spend their money but, I don't think I'll ever be in a place where I feel comfortable spending 30k on a big party.
Also, I have my BA from Michigan State! Nice to see that there are other Spartan feminists on here.
This has been bugging me too, my uncle got married last week.
The traditions of wedding annoy me, the way the only speeches were made by men, the way a woman is 'given away' by her father, the whole name thing.
Gah!
I just got a rolled eye when I ranted about this to my sister I'm 'too feminist' apprenlty for wanting to stay Ms My Name all my life and oppossed to Mrs Someone Else's Name!
The traditions can be quaint and cute but I don't think people THINK so much as to why they exist and what ideas are behind them.
Ugh, I'm late to the party, but I have to chime in. I was also at a catholic wedding, one where the first time the bride was announced as being Mrs. (hername) (hislast) was when she was dancing with her father. Up to that point (about 4 or 5 times), they were Mr & Mrs Hisfirst Hislast, or Mrs Hisfirst Hislast. Barf barf barf.