Why is teen pregnancy so much more acceptable when accompanied by teen marriage?
Getting married at seventeen is generally seen as a bad decision. At seventeen, most people haven't quite figured out who they're going to be yet, and settling down with one person for the rest of their life is likely to end in disaster. I'm nineteen now, and while I was very much in love with my boyfriend when I was seventeen, even a few years later I know that breaking up was the right thing to do.
We've seen it with Jamie Lynne Spears and now we're seeing it with Bristol Palin. A teenager announces her pregnancy, and is immediately lauded for taking responsibility and marrying the father.
I really hate that abortion is seen as a "quick fix" while keeping the baby is "taking responsibility for your actions." That's an issue I've seen over and over again, but it belongs in a different post.
The reason shotgun weddings are applauded is because people don't want to believe that a teenage girl would have sex with someone she doesn't love enough to spend the rest of her life with. If Jamie Lynne or Bristol had admitted that the father was just a hook-up, or a boyfriend who'd only been around for a couple of weeks, they'd both be labeled as sluts.
Jamie Lynne Spears hasn't married her boyfriend yet, and my tabloid habit tells me that it's not likely to happen soon. Their relationship is pretty much falling apart. I can't help but wonder if they ever actually intended to get married in the first place.
Bristol Palin is a slightly different story. From what I've heard, there's a chance she and her boyfriend were planning to get married even before she got pregnant. This may not have been very wise of them, but it's still better than the other option; Bristol and her boyf got bullied into getting engaged by the McCain campaign.
Of course, Bristol was raised in a traditional religious family, and so I understand her decision to keep the baby. Maybe she got pregnant on purpose. Sadly, that's not at all unheard of among teenage mothers. One of my friends got married at nineteen despite everyone she knew telling her it was a bad idea, so it's quite possible Bristol did in fact plan to get married. That's her choice, and while I would have gotten an abortion and probably turned down the proposal, I would never force that choice on her.
Unfortunately, her mother would be perfectly happy to force Bristol's choice on me.
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I really don't get it either. It's like they're trying to erase the pre-marital sex with a marriage after the fact.
I personally think getting married at 17 on top of an unplanned pregnancy is a horrible decision. Sure, some couples make it, but being ready for sex =/= ready for marriage. Why risk divorce? Why not wait a few years and grow as people, sharing the responsibility of parenting. An unplanned pregnancy does not make a solid marriage.
SaltyLilKipper commented at September 3, 2008 10:53 PM: "I really don't get it either. It's like they're trying to erase the pre-marital sex with a marriage after the fact."
That's the impression I got too.
It also seems to go along with the "only get pregnant within marriage" thing (making sure at least the birth is within marriage seems to be the "next best" version when that "fails"). BTW, some even more traditional parents use that as an excuse for marrying off their daughters before they can get pregnant, therefore making it impossible for those girls to have premarital pregnancy (see http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/1209099.stm ).
And how could we ever know what Bristol herself wants, since everyone else is speaking for her? Being thrust into the national spotlight so suddenly, and having this marriage decision pushed on you by the adults in your life must be a confusing and overwhelming experience at her age. As we watched the RNC last night I said to my partner "what do you think their relationship will be like in 10 years?" He said nobody's worried about that, since it's not the long-term consequences they're concerned with right now. So as a result she has no voice and can't take any time to think carefully about her future. Depressing.
I agree with Rachel_in_WY. I think this teenage marriage is a temporary solution for the McCain/Palin team. They want to make it as unscathed as possible to the election - no matter how screwed up the girl's life may be at this moment.
It's so goddamned selfish. Senator Palin is a monster. She was going to support and then ran against her pro-choice in-law during an election, she has no regard for her daughter. I see a trend. She's an extremely selfish individual and is only looking out for own advancement. I'm truly scared of this woman and what she'll do to our country if elected.
And it's so nice how Bristol and her bf were being put on display at the RNC as a success story. I don't think the personal lives of politicians should be used against them, but by the way Palin keeps on publicizing this it makes me rethink that. She needs to stop using this teen pregnancy/engagement as a pawn in her anti-choice position if she doesn't want her personal life being analyzed.
I see my friends getting hitched at 21 and I still think it's a shitty idea!
But as for Bristol, all I feel is sad for her. Even if this is her personal decision (which I kind of have a hard time believing) she will carry it out on the national stage. It is obvious from the news reports on her and her total winner of a boyfriend that this is the absolute wrong decision and will either fail or remain intact for appearances only. What a horrible predicament.