Undoubtably you will, at some point, read something on a blog that you disagree with in a serious manner. It goes with the territory of being in a community, online or in person. When you disagree with your grandmother, however, you generally take a moment to think about how you will react. Perhaps you won't say anything, maybe you'll gently let her know that you don't agree with her. Maybe it's your best friend, or significant other that you find yourself on the brink of an argument with, seconds away from saying something you'll regret- but you manage to not blow up.
Why? Is it empathy, or is it knowing that there are consequences? Is it the tension of being face-to-face with others? Whatever it is, it's not with most people in the virtual world. Time and time again we see vicious attacks on people in blogs and on message boards. In chat rooms and online games. In a world supposedly free of consequences. We snarl and attack one another just because we can. But that doesn't make it right. When something offends you, is it the person or the idea?
Usually, it's the idea- especially in communities that are based on shared ideology. Why would you hate your fellow feminist? Isn't that person standing in solidarity with you? Shouldn't you stand with them? Disagree with ideas and concepts all you like- but, please spare the messenger. Anger and hatred are poison to wisdom and intelligence.
“Act that your principle of action might safely be made a law for the whole world.” Immanuel Kant
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This "bad feminist" couldn't agree more.
Dissent is a good thing, and we should let it make us stronger as a community.
for sure. there are times when i would comment here, but i dont because i dont care for the environment. saying that someone who doesnt agree w u isnt a real feminist is harsh
I couldn't have said it better myself. I agreed with this post too.
I decided a few months ago that I was no longer going to be a doormat--if I disagreed with someone, even someone I loved, I was going to state my case, rather than just let them go on unchallenged (particularly if I found their views to be biased or uninformed.) In my view, it's better to give your relationship (friendship, family, romantic) with another person the opportunity to meet conflict and grow from it than hide behind the lie of everything being fine. It can't be healthy if it's based on lies.
I don't think anyone here thinks you always have to agree with everyone. I think it's the tone and the personal attacks we take issue with. In the last 3 weeks I've been called a bad feminist several times for disagreeing with people here on Feministing. Because I disagreed with the point they were making (and I wasn't being snarky about it) they attacked me personally instead of addressing my point. I don't get my feelings hurt all that easily, but I do think it's inappopriate and counter-productive. Dissent is a good thing, and constructive conversations can't really happen without some level of disagreement.