Well, I certainly would want to encourage women of the world to not have an unhappy period, to learn to go wit the the flow of their cycles and not view their period, as one ad for tampons put it, as the unwanted gift from Mother Nature, an old auntie-type lady who seems to give pleasure in tormenting young women with her "gift" ("Ooh, newlyweds!" she gleefully cries at the end of the ad. Quick! Get the tampons before Mother Nature ruins your honeymoon... even though, since you're already having your period, you're probably not having sex anyway if you're boyfriend's squeamish about blood).

Argh, I hate those commercials, especially since Always is always (hee hee, pun) changing their darn packaging so I can never figure out which ones are the ones I usually get - which means I end up unhappily at home, realizing that I got the too-big ones, the too-small ones, or the overnight ones instead of my 'normal' ones. That's one of the reasons I started trying a menstrual cup, but I still get 'leaks' and I don't really like washing them out all the time, so I'm back in Walgreens, trying to negotiate the damn wall of product. Worse is when my husband is the one trying to pick them up as a favor when he's there for another purpose - if I can't pick out the right ones 4 times out of 5, how is he supposed to?!?! Sigh.

I'm on my period right now, and I honestly can't tell.

It's horribly the way that tampon and pad companies market their products. It's also bad for the environment.

I've been looking for menstrual alternatives for a few months now. I thought I was going to get gladrags or lunapads reusable pads. They last for five years or more and are supposedly really breathable because they don't have a plastic backing.

My partner was really interested in finding an alternative solution for me, so he went around the internet and looked up menstrual cups and put all the links in a bookmark.
I bought a DivaCup, and I can tell every single one of you : get a menstrual cup. Seriously. It's probably one of the best things you could do for your period. I don't even have to wear a liner. It took me about ten minutes to learn how to insert it. It's amazing. I really cannot stress how incredible these products are.
I've been evangelizing. You'll want to too.

There are several different brands, and instead of linking to all of them, I'm going to link to an incredible livejournal community devoted to menstrual cups.

http://community.livejournal.com/menstrual_cups/1214647.html

From the always website:

"It can't get any worse..
so why not make the best of it
If your claws are out, why not paint them?
Buy something you don't need,
like a triple mocha latte with sprinkles."

Claws?

Ugh.

Buy something I don't need?

Double ugh.

Paraphrase:

We 'get' you. When you're on your period, life is absolutely fucking terrible. You're a cat. A bitchy cat. But you're not incapable of making lemons into lemonade. So go get your nails painted. Pretty things make you feel better, right? So pretty things that you can look at whenever you want and are actually a part of your body are the BESTEST. Oh, and you should spend some money. Somewhere. Doesn't really matter as long as your purchase is superfluous and the pleasure it provides is fleeting.
Starbucks is good. Please spend money. Buy our product.

I can only speak for myself- I know a few women who have difficult menses periods, but, mine is welcomed every 28 days.

I am a 42 yr old woman and I love my period.

My experience includes a shift in my consciousness- and a feeling of congestion (pre menstrual) and release (blood flow). I get very creative a little dreamy. I enjoy a warm cup of something to drink, tea, coffee, whatever
I've been on my period every time I finished a book for enjoyment in one day. My greatest paintings, stories, insights have come with my blood flow.

I work in film production, 12 -16 hours per day and find that I am more solid and grounded on my blood flow days.

I've practiced yoga my entire life, so that may have something to do with the no cramp, easy flow for two or three days experience I have.

Without dismissing the fact that there are women doubled over in pain, who hate their periods, I would love to hear more stories like mine.
I love my period.

Sometimes I find myself fantasizing about my childbearing years so I can get off birth control and have a natural menstrual cycle again. Hormonally induced periods just feel different. I know, I know, condoms, but I hate them even more.

I have a hard time feeling bad about menstruating when the best cramp relief, masturbating to orgasm four, five, or six times, reminds me again why it's great to be a woman.

I'm with joyfuldinosaur on this: I can't ever really tell the difference. No cramps, no mood change, no nothing. I also had none of the "hormonal changes" that every woman is apparently required to experience during pregnancy. I just felt like me, but a little hungrier, with a small creature kicking me from the inside, and people yelling at me for riding my bike.

I know from the marketing that I'm supposed to be a totally different person during my period, and that buying a lot of shit will make me feel better, but I'm just not convinced. The thing is, I've learned through experience to never say this, since other women generally act super irritated/offended/disbelieving. It's like I'm some sort of traitor to femininity. Like femininity is some great thing I should be all loyal to. Like the patriarchal marketing machine that's telling you how you should feel and what you should buy is somehow more believable than actual women living real lives...

I don't have a huge problem with the Have A Happy Period slogan. It's bullshit, because I usually have miserable periods, but everyone is different.

The whole thing about "being able to leave the house and fully participate in your life" is kind of dumb, but it would make sense for women with really bad cramps. Most of us can pop a few aspirin and be fine, but I once had a roommate who had to spend her entire period in bed and conked out on Vicodin, so I get it. She really couldn't leave the house. I've never had anything nearly that bad, but I've had some pretty miserable days.

The conversation about whether male SO's buy tampons isn't nearly as offensive as you're making it. A lot of women do have boyfriends and husbands and there's nothing wrong with alluding that. (Although there's certainly something wrong with a husband who refuses to pick up pads at the store.) They're not assuming that everyone is heterosexual and in a relationship.

There's always a lot of strife over tampon and pad marketing, and while I think a lot of it is very much warranted, a lot of it is just looking for problems where there aren't any. The fact is that there is a very wide range of experiences, and bitching about how a tampon ad doesn't match YOUR experience is short-sighted and kind of hypocritical.

Okay, this thread is going to turn into a Diva cup love party in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .

Frankly, I am utterly emotionless towards my period. It is a process of my body, like urinating or salivating or producing mucus in my nose. Blood comes out of my vagina, woo hoo.

I'm tired of being expected to feel more about it in one way or another. Physically, I don't feel my best, but that doesn't mean that I have to hate my life for a week. I don't turn into a raving, "bitchy" lunatic. I don't need to be forcibly reminded to "have a happy period!" On the other hand, I also don't feel more connected with myself as a woman or anything like that... I don't think my period offers me any more creativity or vitality than any other week of my month.

This is not to say that other women aren't entitled to feel these things. I just don't think we ought to be expected to have a well-formed opinion about one of our body's natural process.
Imagine if we habitually talked about pooping like we talked about menstruating:

"Gee, so how do you feel about your bowel movements?"
"X brand of toilet paper is offensive because it makes defecating sound like a chore and not a glorious natural rhythm!"
"I hate shitting so so much!"

All are legitimate statements, but how many people really have strong enough opinions about poop to voice them? In a perfect world, I'd wager that a lot of women just plain wouldn't think any more of their period than most of us think of the end to our digestive process. Some still would think about it, of course... we just wouldn't be obligated to.

Bloody vagina. That's all it is to me. Just give me a washable pad and some advil like you'd give me a kleenex to take care of the snot if I sneezed.

I'm sorry, but I'm not "bitching about how a tampon ad doesn't match MY experience." The Always website purports to speak for all women. And for the record, I'm always irritated when marketing tries to shape my experience and tell me what I need, regardless of whether it's about tampons or any other product. It's called being critical of a patriarchal culture, and in my view it's a valid feminist activity.

@Rachel in WY: I didn't say it wasn't a valid activity. I'm just saying that most of her specific criticisms, as well as a lot of others I've read, aren't, and the argument usually comes down to someone saying that the advertisement isn't depicting HER period.

Every time the menstrual product marketing ads come up, the valid criticisms end up buried in a list of contradicting complaints. Have A Happy Period is supposed to be offensive. So are ads saying that tampons allow you to wear tight clothes or help you "feel sexy." Midol ads about how unpleasant and inconvenient periods can be are also offensive. And almost every time the speaker backs it up with saying something about their own experience. And while their experience is certainly valid, it's not the only one.

And it's a shame, because there are a lot of very necessary criticisms. The stupid blue liquid, for one. The idea that you need ANY product in order to feel sexy. The idea that a period is something to be ashamed of. There are more.

But mostly: asking women about whether their male SO's buy them tampons is not offensive in the least and trying to make it offensive is ridiculous.

All these people that love their Diva Cups! I must be using mine wrong. :-( It's kinda handy for overnights, but I've never been able to wear it and not leak. I'm glad everybody else is doing so well with it, but I wish I was the same!!

Also, I still bleed for 5-7 days, and I've been on birth control for years now. I am extraordinarily envious of Hara, 'cause my cramps are technically better, the migraines shorter, and I do, in fact, bleed less, but man, my period still sucks. Especially the first 3 days. It's why I went on the pill in the first place, and it has helped, but I wish I was one of those who was down to a 3-day period, no cramps, and no migraines! Oh well. It could be worse....

...and out after TMI. :-)

I use a "Keeper" (http://www.keeper.com/aboutkeeper.html). I love it. I also use a Nuva ring and while I'm not a fan of the extra precautions I need to take, I love the period compared to others. Non-hormonally-controlled I get cramps to the point where I can't walk, eat, or even bear having anyone around. With the ring I occasionally feel some slight discomfort for a few hours my first day.

I, especially when compared to past periods, truly enjoy my periods.

Especially since I have a partner who isn't freaked out by them. It's sprinkles on the happy period mocha latte.

@ nattles_thing: Maybe I'm a little mean to companies and their commercials, but all the things they say imply *possible* problematic ideologies. I agree that asking whether bf or husbands buy tampons is definitely not suggesting absolute heterosexuality. But when all the mainstream media always talk about boys and men and boyfriends and husbands to a (supposedly) female audience, there is a great and valid implication of heterosexuality as the only sexuality. It is very rare - in fact almost never, to find other sexual orientations in commercials and ads (those who do them are always accused of indecency or other "moral crimes"). Maybe they are just depicting the majority, maybe they are just speaking to (and for) the majority, but I wonder if sexuality would be more diverse and open (welcoming homosexuality, bisexuality, PANSEXUALITY or more) if the mass media include all of them along with heterosexuality that they love. Then maybe, the "majority" would be different.

Not trying to change the majority here, only that other groups should be noticed too. If one thinks that commercials filling with MALE professionals are problematic and are a sign of patriarchal reflection, those filled with heterosexual couples or similar implications should have the same issue too. Feminism doesn't try to kill all the men in lab gowns and replace them with women, but at least not all of them are men, please! And in this case, not all of them are heterosexual, please. It's always healthy to include a more diverse spectrum, which is obviously invisible in the mainstream media.

I agree with sinstuff on this: constantly portraying women in these ads as having male partners is heteronormative. But that's been a feature of all advertising for so long that it's hardly news. As long as heterosexuality is portrayed as the norm, gays will be the Other. That's just how it works.

But in the end advertising has a single goal - to make money. They really don't give a fuck one way or another how their work influences/reflects our culture. So you can expect to continue to see ads for cleaning products that only show (mostly white, suburban) women cleaning the house and caring for kids while dads go off to work or to play golf and are generally bumbling idiots, ads for pharmaceutical products that try to convince you that you have some new syndrome or disease in order to create a market for their product, and ads of all sorts that assume white heterosexual nuclear families are the norm.

I'm 19 and my periods are happy. :) Yeah, there's a couple days of cramping, but they're livable. Mostly, my sex drive goes whee~, and that's wonderful fun. Always tampons aren't helping much with the happy, though. It's really urgh when you put in a large one and realize you should've picked a size smaller, and by the time you pull it out it's wicked all the moisture out of your vag and it hurts like hell. (Or maybe that only happens to me, *sad*) I'm thinking of switching to one of them cups pretty soon.

natbsat, have you tried different folding patterns and stuff like that? I don't have one yet so I don't have any personal experience, but I found this livejournal group for them with oodles of advice from women who do.

http://community.livejournal.com/menstrual_cups/

Oh and those tips are kind of duh. To make yourself feel better about x, do things that will make you feel better in general!

I've always found that slogan ridiculous too. Most women don't find periods "happy," or a time when they become an overemotional psycho. When someone else is menstruating you usually can't tell, unless they tell you. But they need to try to make it sound like they're the only ones who can control that horrible beast that takes you over ever month, the only one who understands bumbling boyfriends and bitchy feelings and chocolate cravings. I think most women find those ads absurd: dancing in a white room, in which clothes, and laughing with our best girlfriend-- yeah, that's what we all do when we're ragging!

On the boyfriend note, I wouldn't even let my own mother pick out my pads. (I'm particular.) But it is weird that they try to appeal to only straight women-- what is it, about 10% of people are gay? That ignores 10% of their demographic. Not socially conscious OR financially smart.

@Kate: The commenter above you says her periods are happy. You're proving my point about how a lot of complaints about marketing for menstrual products are all about how it doesn't fit the person's personal experience.

I don't like it, but the whole appealing to straight women DOES make perfect sense. 90% of the population is heterosexual, and marketing to that last 10% can get the company in trouble with the religious right, which can get them boycotted. And anyway, they're not even that bad. Most tampon ads I see don't even refer to boyfriends. One question on their website about whether male SO's pick up pads doesn't mean their entire ad campaign is targeted at heterosexuals only.

I do wonder if any of the major tampon and pad companies run ads in publications aimed at lesbians.

nattles_thing, I think the complaint is far more, and more serious, than "your advertising doesn't fit my experience." I think that whenever women as a group are portrayed as being over-emotional, frivolous, materialistic, and shallow there's good reason to complain. All of the cultural mythology that's built up around menstruation and PMS basically gives people permission to dismiss women's behavior and concerns as being irrational and hormonally-caused (even though there is absolutely no scientific basis for this). I will continue to object to any cultural attitude that causes people not to take me seriously as a rational being.

Rachel: I never said there weren't problems. In fact, I said just the opposite. I even wrote a post about it a while back, if you care to take a look. The whole menstruating-women-are-insane myth is the most annoying of all of these, although from what I've seen the really offensive stuff isn't coming from the tampon companies. Acknowledging that PMS makes some women moody -- because yes, I can tell you that I do get emotional before my period -- isn't the same as saying that PMSing women are irrational she-beasts.

What I am saying is that a lot of the complaints I've read ARE about ads not matching the writer's experience. Kate's argument against "Have A Happy Period" is one of these, and the fact that she argued it right below a commenter stating that she did, in fact, have happy periods says a lot.

I really don't get the frustration with the slogan. Do you object to people telling you to have a good day, a fun weekend, or a great trip? Even if your job sucks and your weekends are all boring and your trip is to Texas to visit the in-laws you loathe, you still don't get into a tizzy when someone tells you to enjoy yourself.

I'm not saying that it's all good and dandy and feminist-friendly, and stop trying to pretend that I am. There's a lot wrong with tampon and pad marketing. It's important to focus on actual problems rather than finding inoffensive things to be offended by.

If you were in charge of the ad campaign for Always, what would you do?

If I was in charge of any advertising campaign concerning women I would drop the assumption that all women are the same and have the exact same experience. The fact that they have to tell me to have a happy period rests on the assumption that I'll probably be miserable and bitchy. I don't really think that advertising like this is a huge deal, although the other things on their site kind of piss me off. But I do think that if you take all of this together it is a pretty damning body of evidence concerning our cultural view of women.

So when someone tells you to have a nice day you assume they think you're going to have an awful day?

nattles_thing I'm sure Rachel_in_WY doesn't mean that way. Please don't pick on words. And I guess being here we all understand potential gender issues hidden in advertisements and other commercial campaigns. We cannot judge only by a particular case but seeing the whole scene, there is obviously something wrong and we are just trying to comment on one or two of them as example. It's alright if you think this campaign is fine. Yet different members are concerned with different aspects and have given explanations for their arguments. There is no need to stick to one or two points that don't promote a conversation.

We're all picking on words.

I've said there are problems. I've also said that it's not very helpful to nitpick. A lot of the "problems" I've heard raised make me roll my eyes. It's not helpful and it doesn't help get the real issues taken care of.

And honestly, I'm kind of offended by some of the "problems" people have. We all have our own experiences. Just because an ad alludes to someone else's experience doesn't mean it's making yours invalid. Complaining about someone talking about a different experience DOES feel like invalidating that experience. I'm heterosexual and I get bad cramps and I get moody. Some of you are gay and have happy periods with no moodiness, and that's fine, but STOP TELLING MY MY EXPERIENCE DOESN'T EXIST.

And yeah, some experiences may get talked about more often than others, and that's an actual problem. Let's talk about that.

Wow, nattles-thing. Who told you your experience doesn't exist? It certainly wasn't anyone here.

A lot of the comments on here are about how bad the ad campaign is because it mentions that some people might have cramps or moodiness or boyfriends. This while talking about how they want the campaign to show THEIR experience. It's hypocritical.

I think it's very important to talk about the small range of experiences shown in popular culture. But I don't think you can point to specific examples and label them offensive just because they show that view.

Think of it this way: The modeling world is dominated by white people, and black models often have trouble finding work. Is this a problem? Of course. Should we talk about it and find ways to fix it? Of course. Does it mean that any ad featuring a white model is automatically offensive? Of course not. And pretending that it is would be douchebaggy and kind of offensive towards the model.

OK, so I still don't see how objecting to advertisements that portray ALL women as being bitchy, irrational, over-emotional, and shallow shopaholics is the same as me saying that your experience doesn't exist. Strange logic in use here.

I'm not saying there aren't any problems. I've said there are plenty. I've said this many, many times.

I was objecting to the complaints in the post. Have A Happy Period is not offensive. Neither is asking if boyfriends buy pads. Pretending that they are is a waste of time and prevents the real problems from being taken seriously.

Tthe ad you're complaining about -- which I really didn't see anywhere, but if you provide me with a link I'll take a look -- will never be taken down if you hide your legit complaints in a flurry of silly, looking-to-be-offended complaints. If you get bad soup at a restaurant you're much more likely to be taken seriously if you haven't already given your waiter an earful about how the napkins are folded wrong and the silverware is in the wrong order and the plates are shaped funny.

I think this thread is a very good demonstration of the "reasoning" behind patriarchal and monoheterosexual discourses, how gender issues raised by these are often missed, as well as how other types of voices and reasons are neglected, period.