I attend an all women's college. I've really loved the environment here. Most queer identified people see campus as a safe zone, and there is a lot of encouragement of feminist ideals and the important work that women can do in the world.
I'm a fifth year, already graduated but taking advantage of a neat fifth year tuition free program at my school and I'm taking classes that have a higher percentage of first year and sophomore students than I'm used to.
Waiting for class to start the other day, I hear a younger student having this conversation about talking with a frat boy.
"So he said, ohhh, you go to Agnes Scott, I bet you're all about equal rights and stuff." (paraphrase, I can't remember exactly what it was, but something along those lines)
"And I was like, I am sooo not a feminist. My job is to cook you dinner."
I was dumbfounded. I couldn't believe that any woman would have that reaction. A woman who is insulted and defensive about being thought of as caring about equal rights for women? But it brought back memories of me having the same conversation with frat boys. Except when they acted all "eww" about someone possibly being for women's rights, I responded to them like the misogynistic jerk they were being. I am perfectly fine with a woman wanting to cook her husband or boyfriend dinner. Cooking a family meal is something that I enjoy immensely. The act of creating something that will sustain me, my boyfriend and my friends is very satisfying. But that is not the way this woman felt. She felt like she had to deny an association with the big bad feminists and assert herself as a traditional woman to get the patriarchal head pat. It made me sad that a woman who lives in the environment my school has feels that way.
Any thoughts on this? Is it a backlash against the feminist atmosphere at my school? Does my classmate really feel like her job is to cook a man dinner and be subservient to him, or was she just trying to not be pushed into a negative stereotype of feminism she didn't think she fit in? It really bothered me, and I really want to help all women think, "hey, it's okay to want equal rights."
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I hope she was kidding. I like cooking, but I think I'd change my tune after cooking every-single-day for others.
Let me tell you something I overheard. I was listening to a male and female student, and the male student was talking about reading Kate Chopin for one class. He talked about how it was all depressing with no way out in the annoyed tone people use to talk about emo kids.
And he started talking about how feminists don't do anything. I think he might have even thrown in a lightbulb joke about how feminists can't do anything.
I was seething the rest of the day.
"Does my classmate really feel like her job is to cook a man dinner and be subservient to him, or was she just trying to not be pushed into a negative stereotype of feminism she didn't think she fit in?"
Six of one, half a dozen of the other. Plenty of young women seem to think that the "good old days" really were better, and they don't see how many steps forward feminist women have taken our gender. They only see extremists (like separatist feminists, who believe that men cannot contribute positively to society) and attempt to distance themselves from them.
Bottom line, if you're a woman and...
-you like being able to vote, and want to keep that right
-you like the fact that you can choose when/if to have children
-you like having the option to work outside the home in virtually any field you like
-you like the fact that you're not obligated to have sex with your husband any time he wants it (and you're not even obligated to have a husband if you don't want one)
-you think it's a bad thing that somewhere between 1 in 6 and 1 in 3 (depending on statistics) women are raped at some point during their lifetime (and you'd like that to change)
...then you've got a whole lot of "thank yous" to say to feminism, and you are probably a feminist.
At my college (I am actually applying to my co-ed schools 5th year free program) I hear this conversation way too often, even from otherwise enlightened women. The fact that this girl is even at a college is a tribute to the feminists who have come before her.
and for flippy, my favorite feminist lightbulb joke
how many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
thats not funny! I'm suing!