I am a male feminist, and the issue of abortion and/or reproductive rights often comes up in my informal collegiate debates.
However, since I am at a college, the majority of the students and the majority of my friends are female.
In my experiences, it is extremely difficult for a male feminist to debate this with conservative or Republican or anti-choice young women. Because the issues of abortion and reproductive rights boil down to women's bodies, I certainly cannot present myself as an expert or show too much empathy.
To clarify, the problem is certainly not that I want to hold back when debating with women. I go all out, tearing people's arguments apart limb by limb. But when it comes to these issues––for which I am a strong advocate of women's rights, but not the person who the right to choose directly affects––it's not so simple.
These women reduce their arguments to emotional and personal appeals ("If I got pregnant, I would make sure I'm ready" or "If I was raped, I would go through with it) that hold little to no credence but are difficult to refute as a male. I don't want it to seem like I'm telling these women what they want or need, like I'm supporting policy based off of what I think and not what they think.
Anyone have any tips or stories about how to address this issue as a male feminist?
I would love it if the answer could be to look at it the same as if I were female, but I think we can all agree that it's not that simple
Thanks!
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I wish I could help, but even as a woman talking to some of these people is impossible (check out my post about the Genocide Awareness Project). The truth of the matter, at least in my opinion, the issue of abortion comes down to who owns women's bodies. Is it the woman herself or society? Is it her father/husband/etc.? It seems to me that dealing with these extremists is like talking to a wall. They're afraid of change, they don't feel that women are capable of making their own decisions regarding their bodies, their health, their lives, nor their futures, and there's really no way of reasoning with them because all they see is a fetus floating around in space negating the fact that it is in fact attached to a woman.
I don't think you'd be out of line to say that they can do what they like with their own bodies, but no-one can override someone else's own bodily autonomy (that might be useful if someone tries to compare abortion to slavery). Arguments like that it's just as wrong to force someone to give birth as is it to force them into an abortion would keep the focus on choice and bodily autonomy. Maybe remind them when they assert they'd keep the baby, they're exercising their choice. Not that you're likely to convince them no matter what you say - they sound pretty set in their views - but when the point is about ownership of your own body, if that's what you're advocating, it shouldn't matter that you're not directly affected by pregnancy and abortion.
"These women reduce their arguments to emotional and personal appeals ("If I got pregnant, I would make sure I'm ready" or "If I was raped, I would go through with it) that hold little to no credence but are difficult to refute as a male."
It seems straightforward to me. Acknowledge that you value their choice-- and call it that, their choice-- but that you know that many women do not want to choose the same route. It's hard to argue with saying "Yes, but that's your choice, many women would not want or could not do the same" when if everyone did what they would do, abortion would not exist.
And I agree with the above-- talk about how you wouldn't want to be forced to donate a kidney to someone, so you wouldn't want to impose any laws on women that do the same thing.
Also, ask them where they base their decision. If they claim God, religion, belief on when life begins, whatever, point out that since their decision is based on a religious belief that not all women share, to encode it into law would violate the first amendment.
Seconding what Feather said. You could talk to one of these women about how awful it would be if she were forced to have an abortion because the government decided that they didn't want her to have a child - and ask her if her only regret would be for the "baby," or if she'd also be ticked off about having her bodily liberty violated.
another issue is bringing up choice when it comes to maternal health and health choices. as was linked on the main page, fetal personhood and other laws can override a pregnant and labouring woman's bodily integrity. you could ask if that woman would like to be forced into an induced labour or a c-section (which are statisically much worse for woman and infant than a spontaneous, vaginal birth), because a doctor decided the fetus had rights or would she like to be arrested due to a poor outcome in labour (a miscarriage or stillbirth)?
reproductive autonomy and freedom means more than just abortion.
Good point.
I hate to use the slippery slope argument*, but once you decide that the rights of a conceptus override those of a born woman, you set a precedent for crazy shit. Like stopping pregnant women from drinking coffee, because caffeine ups the possibility of miscarriage. But you know what? Pregnancy isn't evident for a couple of months. Just to be safe, let's not let any women drink coffee.
*I'm letting myself do it here because we have actually seen cases where women have been prosecuted for child abuse because they consumed alcohol or drugs during pregnancy.
"These women reduce their arguments to emotional and personal appeals ("If I got pregnant, I would make sure I'm ready" or "If I was raped, I would go through with it) that hold little to no credence but are difficult to refute as a male."
Answer: "That's great for you. You know what you are doing there? You are exercising CHOICE. In your case you are CHOOSING to carry to term. I'm all for you having the freedom to make the
CHOICE that works for you."
I agree.
OP, you are in a tricky position seeing as you are a man who advocates for a woman's right to choose. However, as long as you make it about the choice - HER choice - you are not telling anyone what they should think or need. If anyone tries to tell you that you are invalidating their position or telling them what to do ("but I would keep the baby! That's not fair!" etc) you can explain to them that what you are actually advocating for is her right to say (and do) things like that - as well as the rights of other women to choose differently.