This essay has been floating around the internet since 2001, and I'm sure I read it a couple years back. I rediscovered it the other day and it's still very powerful. It's the best take on the sexual double-standard I've ever read.
Here's an excerpt:
"Slut" is for kissing boys with tongue. "Slut" is for kissing lots of different boys with tongue. "Slut" is for craving kissing lots of different boys with tongue. That's not right, you know. It says so in the Bible, and in social hygiene films. "Slut" is for loving sex. "Slut" is for needing sex. "Slut" is for thinking sex isn't shameful. Sex is for married people, for diamond owners, for nice girls in twin sets whose mothers hid the Erica Jong, for people totally and completely, like, in total and complete love, and it takes place behind closed doors, with the lights out. Sex isn't fun. Sex isn't casual. Sex is a deadly serious, disgusting, dirty, degrading business. Just lie there. Don't move around. Don't use your fingernails or moan or anything; that's slutty. Don't get on top. Don't go down. Going down is really slutty, especially if you like it as much as he does. Ew. That's so gross. Only a slut would like that. That's so sickening. I bet you masturbate, too. Ew, I can't even think about that. That's so foul — touching yourself down there like that? That's — well, it's dirty and sticky and gross, dude! Nobody does that. Well, boys do, but that's different.
Enjoy.
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This is a wonderful piece. Have you any idea who wrote it and where, if at all, it was published or first posted? I'd like to be able to refer people to it as best as possible.
It was written by the woman who writes the blog. I'm pretty sure the link in this entry is the place it was first published.
The author is Sarah Bunting. In addition to this blog, she's also an admin/recapper at the popular website Television Without Pity where she writes hilarious recaps of various tv series under the name Sars.
Actually, I'm really psyched to see this linked here because I had it bookmarked for years and then it suddenly disappeared one day! Thanks for reacquainting me!
It could do with an injection of anti-heteronormativity, though. From what I've observed of the unkindnesses of others, "dyke" seems to pair well with "slut" and "whore."
OMG. I love this. Thank you for providing the full link to the full article - this article is so brilliantly written. The worst, the worst, the absolute worst thing about the word slut to me is that it is so often other women flinging that word around.