The night Barack Obama won will always stand out in my mind, and not simply because he won. It will stand out as the moment where I saw a true distinction between true Republican's and the rightwing. I have written about my father previously, and his irrational and illogical hatred of the Democratic party. But what he did Election night and the days afterward confirmed my belief that we will never be able to have a relationship again.
Election night he decided to blame me for the decision of over 62 million Americans. He decided that party politics were more important than his daughters feelings and education. Because of this, I spent most of election night, the most important night of this millenium, crying and mourning the loss of my relationship with my father.
Now he refuses to speak to me.
That is in sharp contrast to the gracious college Republicans I ran into that night, and it just makes me sadder to know that despite how hard President Obama will try to heal the divide between Democrat and Republican,some people will never be brought into the fold. Some wounds will never heal, and some families will forever be divided.
0 TrackBacks
Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry: Family Politics.
TrackBack URL for this entry: http://www.feministing.com/cgi-bin/movabletype/mt-tb.fcgi/10356
I understand how you feel. I voted absentee, and have made it clear how liberal I am to my parents. This has been passed on to my extended family, and the week before the election I received a letter from my grandmother shaming me for voting for Obama, insinuating that I am a bad daughter since his "socialist" policies will hurt my parents. She also seemed to feel that I must have made this decision out of ignorance or spite. I respect the rights of others to vote how they please. I am friends with the president of the college Republicans on my campus, and my boyfriend voted McCain. The issues that are important to them are different than the issues that are important to me, and we can all deal with this. But the fact that my own family members would be so judgmental is extremely hurtful, and at this point I'm rather terrified of what's going to happen when I go home at Thanksgiving.
I'm really sorry to hear that your father feels that way, and how bad it has hurt your relationship with him. However it seems like you did the right thing, you voted with what was important to you and those around you, and what issues really mattered. While I'm not completey sure why your father would feel the way he did, you have to ask yourself what opinions or what prejudices he might have. My boyfriend's parents did not vote for Obama, his father because he was black, and his mother, because she was of the opinion that he was "muslim". I think that they'll just have to wait and see what he does before they can even begin to change their minds and their world view. All everyone else can do is wait...
That's really terrible, I'm sorry. I have avoided calling my father since the election because I don't want to engage in a conversation about it. Despite my pleas to just agree to disagree, he will never let it go. He continues to spew very thinly veiled racist bullshit about Obama no matter what I say. It's been hard for me to recognize that my parent's don't feel that they need to respect me. I go out of my way to try and respect their (ridiculous and ill-informed) beliefs. I have come to terms with the fact that they do not want to learn about or understand my beliefs, but I assumed that they would see that whether or not we agree, my beliefs are informed and important to me.
It sucks when your parents disappoint you. My dad honestly said that he wouldn't shake Barack Obama's hand, and that he is out to destroy "traditional White American culture." He consistently tells me that if I knew all the facts I would feel differently and understand why electing a "racist, Muslim, socialist" will destroy our country. I wish that I had some sage advice about how to deal with it, but I don't. I would like to tell my father that I love him enough not to treat him that way, and I only wish he felt the same way about me.
Well sweetheart, you're not alone. Nearly the exact same thing happened between me and my mother that night. I'm very sorry you had to go through it as well.
I am sorry to hear about what happened with your Father. I am really lucky that all of my family voted for Obama and if they did not they voted for another party other than Republican. There are really no Republicans in my family.
Some wounds will not heal and some families will forever be divided for now. Now could be 2 years, 10 years or 20 years. It can change. I am actually writing a book on Healing the Family Soul. I believe healing can occur but it cannot happen overnight. It takes time, work, patience, believing and love. Its a long story so when the book is out you can read it. But for now... I believe WE CAN. Its just going to be more work than most of us think.
This has been a terribly divisive election season, for sure. And you - all of you who have had family rifts over this election - have my deepest sympathy. There but for the grace of my well-honed ability to stay quiet go I and my father.
Jadelyn, I tried very hard to hide my politics. I was outed when I AGREED with my father and his talking-heads on the radio and said Huckabee was insane. I said I'd vote Dem over that wack-job. So I became a 'commie-pinko liberal' who he can never be proud of.
Everyone, thank you for your support.I wrote this when I was very upset about the whole thing.
My dad is a lot like yours... maybe not as extreme, but he and I got into a number of arguments over the whole issue of politics. This election-especially-has put a strain on our relationship.
I learned to just avoid the subject of politics with my dad altogether, because there is no getting through to people like that.
Sorry to hear about that. My family is Republican and I have not spoken to them since the election for a reason. Don't want to argue because its a no-win situation. I am sure I will hear about it over Thanksgiving. Just have to realize they will not change. Its sad, but true.
I know how you feel... my mom's side of my family is all staunch right-wing (I won't call them Repubs b/c a lot of Repub's I know are much more tolerant than the right-wing is) and none of them have been very pleasant since the election. My mom had already written me out of the family years ago when she found out I was pro-choice, so I know what it feels like to not have a relationship with one of your parents, because they place their beliefs as more important than their families. Just know that we're in the right, here, no pun intended. WE'RE the real pro-family side, because we don't hate our family just because of a political disagreement. They can't take Obama's victory away from us, or our hope and joy at the prospect of a new administration, unless we let them. It may be hard, but DON'T let them!
I have a right-wing bible-thumping younger sister that called me up after not calling me for a year to tell me that the republican party had a surprise for us democrats! (That was Sarah Palin as VP candidate-she knew of course before me being a registered right-winger). She scared me, sure, but since she wouldn't tell me what the surprise was, I didn't get hyped over nothing.
My large family is very split on politics. Yet this year my republican older brother voted for Obama. And he has a history of being racist.
My father was a violent horrible right-wing racist sexist piece of work. He died 3 weeks before the election. I cried when he died, but I also smiled on election day that he wouldn't be able to vote. As a white male, he felt entitled all his life to supremacy, and was cruel and hateful to anyone who wanted equal standing in the world.
But there's hope. The younger generations seem less inclined to take on their parents white supremacy roles, and this is so evident from the election results. Times are changing!