My first rant on feministing.com.
I'm getting really sick and tired of, and I think my best friend, "Brad," is too, everyone having to label him as our-little-gay-boy-friend.
People first language is often used with people with disabilities. See what I did there? Instead of saying "disabled people," I put the people first (duh!) by saying "people with disabilities." It's simple, really. No, I'm not making a parallel between disabilities and sexual orientation; instead, I'm making a parallel with how we speak about others. Let's put Brad first, not his sexual orientation.
Brad finally protested on Friday when my friend was on the phone with a coworker and stated, "Yeah, I'm going downtown with Lauren and Brad, our gay boy friend." Is this really necessary? He rebutted, "Why do you always have to "out" me?"
I was so proud of him for standing up for himself. This woman used this sentence to out him several times previously and we've both had it!
Do you have a friend that does this? I ask you - when was the last time this friend said, "Yeah, I'm going downtown with Amber, my straight friend" - probably never!
Activism can be large or small but it all makes a big trickle-down difference. The activism I am requesting of you today is to stand up for yourself, your friends, your acquaintances, your strangers and tell others not to out us for the sake of outing us.
I'll close with a pun.
Your little lesbian friend,
lauren.
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Sadly, my friend who is gay does this to himself and some of our other friends. I'll never understand why people who have been exposed to positive progressive thought still feel the need to objectify themselves.
If you have somebody who does this to others regularly, respond when he does it by referring to him expressly as hetero. "...and Wallace, our heterosexual shopping partner."
Either that or with some other equally irrelevant, private, and stereotypically embarrassing detail: "...and Lancelot, who is wearing powder blue jockey briefs today." (It doesn't even have to be strictly true, just private, irrelevant, and embarrassing.)