This is the second time I have to post something about the despicable things AOL publishes on its news site.
In a segment about how to read body language, it says
"Okay, you know enough about your partner's menstrual cycle to know when to leave her alone."
Lovely. I don't know which this is implying--that women are incorrigible, PMS-y bitches that you must avoid like the plague during "that time of the month," or that menstruation makes sex mysteriously undesirable for men. Both or either, it's really offensive.
We all know how hurtful accusations and fabrications about PMS can be, but I want to address the issue of sex during menstruation. Why is this such a stigma? It shames women about their natural selves, bodies, and cycles. And everyone owes their own life to menstruation, the sign that women are fertile.
Is it too dirty? Truth is, I don't really care, because sex is already pretty messy, and if you need perfect cleanliness it probably isn't for you anyway. And the average person isn't like that. If people avoid sex during menstruation, it's because our misogynistic culture sends out messages like the one on AOL.
As Jenna Jameson said, "it's just a little war paint, who cares?"
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If two people are fine with having sex during menstruation, then I don't see the need for anyone else to comment.
I'm not sure you can say that someone who isn't comfortable smearing blood all over themselves or their partners is necessarily "shaming" women or being misogynistic. Some people are just squeamish about blood in general. I can see how having it spread on one's genitals might be disconcerting.
I have certainly got a little of the stereotypical male's "icky" factor when it comes to menses and sexual activity, but barring torrents of bloody mess I've pretty much always been up for it if my partner was as well. Hell the shower is always a great place for a little lovin'.
Frankly I don't think it's entirely unfair to call into question the heterosexuality of a male who refuses lovemaking on the basis of menses. Now there are some quaint, and by "quaint" I mean "silly but generally harmless" theological beliefs that would prohibit some people from physical contact during a woman's cycle but I'm blessedly free of such silly prohibitions.
The problem with the article was that it was saying women automatically dont want sex on their period and instead of learning naturally about when she wants sex, he's simply supposed to assume she doesnt want it.
If a man ejaculates, how do you think she feels about that. Alot of women would prefer the sex without the mess from the guy. I say if she has to deal with that, then why should a little blood scare him off. Its like a womans ejaculation. I'm also speaking as a bi woman whose had sex with a female on her period. I had some of the gross out factor, but after a while I feel I've evolved and learned a bit about the human body.
Oh-ho-ho. I disagree.
I want it MORE when I'm ragging. Sadly I date a clean freak. He wants nothing to do with period sex. Not because its blood but because its messy. We're working on those crazies of his. Maybe some day.
What do you disagree with? I agreed with what you just wrote. Many women want to have sex on their periods, especially (like you wrote) because some are more aroused at that time. My post is telling those partners that dont want to have sex on a womans period to lighten up. Why is it that ejaculation isnt messy but a womans period is? Seems like were accepting the mans ejaculation as something natural but omitting a womans period as something gross. I think thats sexist.
Personally I find both icky, simply for the mess factor! That being said, I deal with ejaculation and my partner deals with my menstruation. That's just how it is: It's icky, but it's part and parcel of that whole 'sex' dealy, so we put up with it and get on with loving each other!
I also agree that I get WAY more horny on my period than off it! I am lenient with guys who are a bit icked out by it though, particularly if they've never met a woman who's OK with it. Generally I've found that if you don't push them into it, they eventually try it with the blood anyway and just learn to deal with it in their own time. Lead by example, I say! I just say "well I'm cool with sex on my period" and see where they go.
I find often they assume that it would be painful or very very different just because they've never tried it or found someone open to it previously. It's all about education, understanding, and time.
..I should add that to this day, I've not yet found a guy who hasn't eventually (or straight away) been open to period sex.
I agee that as long as the woman tolerates the spermies, then he should tolerate the blood, is all I'm saying.
Awesome comments!
I never even thought of the sperm thing... it's an excellent point.
Also i wanted to clarify that instead of "if people avoid sex during menstruation" I really meant "if people feel forced or pressured to avoid sex..." I respect that some people have real issues with dirt and mess, and that avoiding menstrual blood is just a little part of that.