Working as a bartender for the past four years, and only being feminist for the last year, I can really see how men objectify women on a daily basis. The other morning I was referred to as "that." I had to laugh; I could not believe that someone first of all was talking about me in a crude manner, but then to go and say "if I had something like that."
So after that, I had to start a log for all the sexist comments I hear all day in a bar. I know that people are under the impression because women work in the bar, it is assumed one can treat us with as little dignity as possible. NOT IN MY BAR ASSHOLES! I have the basic human right, working in a bar or not, to not be treated as an object. I also realize, many women, who are not aware of what is happening are totally flattered when someone tells them to shake their ass. That still does not give men the right to harass women; I'm tired of the hate towards women and the interesting idea that women equal slaves or servents. Not really! I'm trying to work my way through college, just like everyone else, not have my soul torn apart on a daily basis because men think they have the right.
I really cant stand that men think they can bad mouth their wives to me; why did you ask her to marry you then if she is so awful? Because you are lame, and knew opportunity would pass you by for free, emotionless sex till you die? Great idea! Keep coming in, and strong women like me will at least give you something to think about; I will give you my "gospel."
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I love the idea of keeping a log of all the sexist comments you get. You could start your own blog off of that idea alone! Have you heard of Hollaback NYC (hollabacknyc.blogspot.com)? They have a similar idea. You could really start a community where women in jobs like yours (bartenders, waitstaff, etc) could have a forum to talk about all the bullshit that goes on, and ways to prevent it/fight back against sexism.
Ugh, I totally hear you on that. I'm a bartender too, and I get that all the time. I especially cannot stand all the guys bitching about their wives - I really feel for the poor women 99% of the time, because these guys are such assholes. I can't imagine talking to them for more than an hour, let alone being MARRIED to them.
Good for you for joining the ranks of women speaking up about this crap. The more it's out in the open, the more folks can stop acting like it's no big deal.
that sucks. I am in the service industry and you have to be nice because you work for tips. The things people say/do when they think no one is looking (or that the person looking is just anonymous).
Is there any way you can call out these assholes? Sometimes public embarrassment- especially in front of the guy's friends- is the best thing to take him down a peg or two.
Also, I think most of us were "feminists" before we knew what it *actually* meant or identified as such. I've been a feminist my whole life and didn't know it ;)