I know from previous experience that breastfeeding is a very sensitive topic here, and that it's almost impossible to say anything, on either side of the issue, without hurting feelings and stepping on toes. This has been kind of perplexing to me, but I'll admit I haven't spent much time thinking about it. I have strong convictions about the benefits of breastfeeding, but then my mom is a nutritionist so I have access to a lot of research that others probably don't. I also have strong feelings about the influence and control of the formula companies, etc. but then, I tend to be a little more anti-capitalism than most people on Feministing. So I understand that my view is probably not the norm, and this seems unproblematic to me.
The thing is, I have never pushed my views on anyone else or tried to guilt anyone for their decisions. In spite of this, I have been attacked (called a "tit nazi," even) for even mentioning the benefits of breastfeeding, the lack of support most women experience, and for noting that I made the choice to breastfeed for a full year because of the history of diabetes in our family and the resulting risk that formula presents to my daughter. On the other side, it is suggested of mothers who don't breastfeed that they are not concerned about their child's health, that they're lazy, etc. So the attacks seem equally harsh from both sides. Up until now, this has seemed like the kind of disagreement that's both irresolvable and highly emotional, so I've sort of left it alone. But the coverage of this topic on this post has made me rethink the source of the controversy. I'm very compelled by Lauredhel's take on this:
It's not as simple as "The Patriarchy wants women to not breastfeed" or "The Patriarchy wants women to breastfeed". What The Patriarchy "wants" (if you'll bear with me on this somewhat teleological train of thought) is to have control over breastfeeding. Sometimes that might involve coercion to breastfeed (while withholding full support), sometimes coercion to not breastfeed, sometimes breastfeeding is a tool to confine women to the domestic environment, sometimes guilt over not breastfeeding is cultivated to sell women more products. Above all, breastfeeding women are reminded day after day after day that their bodies are public property, that breastfeeding isn't a free pass out of the sex class, and that whatever they do, there will be no shortage of people telling them that they're doing it wrong.Australian and USAn societies are down there with the lowest breastfeeding rates in the world. We have developed a peculiarly pernicious mix of:
* half-secularised Puritanism;
* half-baked woman-hating Freudianism;
* toxic capitalism;
* mother-hostile workplace practices;
* social isolation of new mothers;
* a deep-seated fear and suspicion of any bodily intimacy that isn't sexual;
* and an overwhelming sense of proprietorship of breasts by heterosexual men.
It seems to me that conceptualizing the controversy as a patriarchal means of control makes sense of a lot of the contradictory messages women receive about breastfeeding. What do you think? And is there some way to approach this topic (which I think deserves a lot of feminist dialogue) that would steer clear of the hard feelings and emotional baggage that's currently tied to it? Because it seems to me that if we could do this we could make a lot of headway and at least begin to sidestep the whole patriarchal-control-of-women's-bodies thing.
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thanks for posting this. the fact that patriarchy doesn't necessarily want one clear thing, but control over something is so true. the post explained it better than i could've. i'm surprised australia's situation is similar to america's. at least their childbirth statistics aren't as bad. patriarchy in america wants to, and does have control over how women birth too.
what's even more frustrating for me is that these pseudo- "western scientific" practices and relentless capitalism get pushed on third world countries, and the people there accept it as the healthiest recommendations. so many people in south asia believe c-sections are the healthiest thing for babies, and that formulas are healthier than breastmilk. c-section rates in eastern europe are high and in latin america they're staggering. what they don't know is that western europe and northern europe have some of the best maternal health practices.
And then there was the whole Gerber in Guatamala thing, where they gave out free formula to new mothers and told them it was the healthiest choice. Problem is, when they went home and mixed it with the water there, the babies got sick, and some of them died, because of contaminated water. Yeah, there's a reason why women in developing nations (including the U.S. back in the day) traditionally nurse until the age of two. Using WTO guidelines, Gerber sued their department of health to be allowed to continue to distribute formula to new mothers. Un-fucking-believable.
What I find interesting is how quickly feminist mothers change their minds about breastfeeding when they are pregnant and start doing the research about what is best for the child they are planning on raising (that includes me).
Most women's priorities change when they become mothers.
This can be debated by women who aren't mothers and a few who are, but the fact is
most do change.
It's an intense process.
Most women who abandoned breastfeeding for formula (especially in the 60's) did so because doctors were misleading them with the false information that formula was better.
Of course it is usually (I said usually) not better for the child. We know that now, but, we are combating conditioning that includes trusting a doctor more than a mothers intuition and nature, even now that doctors finally have come back around to the belief that human milk is better for humans than formula (in most cases).
Not all but, certainly some mothers who do not breast feed either haven't done the research or have been misinformed. Many are pressured by society or are victims of conditioning. Not all, but, some for sure.
And SOME make the choice to bottle feed for health reasons.
I have read (on blogs) women get downright nasty about sharing information-
taking every fact as a personal assault,
being overly sensitive and insensitive.
Breastfeeding is more about the child than the mother.
While it does benefit the mother in many ways (mother natures chemistry is awesome)
it is a way to feed a child (an inexpensive way at that).
And while it does seem to be a sacrifice for the mother, it helps her in the long run (if she plans on raising the child).
Now go on and attack me and my comment
I especially appreciate attacks by women who haven't had children, don't plan on having children or are still children (teens).
Axe'
"...Not all but, certainly some mothers who do not breast feed either haven't done the research or have been misinformed. Many are pressured by society or are victims of conditioning. Not all, but, some for sure.
And SOME make the choice to bottle feed for health reasons...
"...Breastfeeding is more about the child than the mother.
While it does benefit the mother in many ways (mother natures chemistry is awesome)
it is a way to feed a child (an inexpensive way at that).
And while it does seem to be a sacrifice for the mother, it helps her in the long run (if she plans on raising the child)..."
That makes perfect sense to me (and I don't have kids, don't want to, and was breastfed as a baby myself). Not every mother's situation is the same, and every mother needs accurate info and understanding whichever way she ends up choosing.
I just want to say that I have extensively researched this issue, am a graduate student, and do feminist research. I find the original post to be quite interesting.
I wanted to respond to retireddancer because I believe that even though breastfeeding is undoubtedly best for babies, I do not think I can do it. I can't imagine anything more horrifying, actually -- I mean this personally, not necessarily when I see others doing it.
I get an physical reaction to the thought of breastfeeding -- I feel almost sick to my stomach.
I think one of the biggest reasons that I cannot do it is because of my body issues (I am in recovery from an eating disorder and probably have body dismorphic disorder, and hate my breasts). I also have some issues with having what I would call somewhat non-consensual sex as a young teenager, and I am very possessive about MY body, and I want to do what I choose with it, not what society or my in-laws do (they are what I would call breastfeeding activists). Additionally, I am very touch and go about nipple stimulation. Sometimes it is so sensitive that I am physically disgusted.
Considering that so many women are survivors of sexual abuse and body issues, I find it interesting that this reason has not often been taken up. Rebecca Kukla wrote a fabulous article about breastfeeding campaigns, and she delves into the issue of body control and image, and sexual assault.
Moreover, what I think my reasons for not wanting to breastfeed are are not ones that I feel comfortable explaining to people like my in-laws, nor do I think I should have to.
In the end, I would love to have a child. I have been told that I shouldn't have one if I don't want to breastfeed because I am selfish. I have been told that I shouldn't be a mom if I don't want to stay home. I have been told I can't be a mom if I have needs and desires and goals that make people question if my children are number 1 in my life.
I would love to do things my way, without judgment. I think there is some rebellion to this...I'm not sure.
What I do know is that the breast vs. bottle debate enrages me for a lot of unknown reasons. I guess my choice is ultimately about putting the decision back in my hands and away from whoever wants to put it onto me.
I would also like to add that the body is a very complex system of signification. In my eyes (and in the view of a great deal of scholars on the body, most of which take a feminist stance) it is not natural, but created, becoming, historically significant, evolving, etc -- it is both nature and culture.
I think this is significant for the reason that this is such a contentious issue. Anything about the body, and what it ought to do, what the normative body can and should do, etc, is going to come up against debate because in some sense, there is no way to know that what is 'natural' for one is possible for another.
When the body is bound up with such complex systems of meaning, and when many women (especially feminists) want to contest those meanings, I believe we come up with infinite answers and experiences.
So, what I am getting at is that I believe that breastfeeding discourse does women no favours when proclaims itself as the new norm. I believe it is the ability to choose (admittedly with the right information) what kind of feeding one wants that is empowering. And we can't do that by telling women over and over that breastfeeding is best. For one thing, telling women this hasn't worked as a public health campaign (Kukla cites this). For another, it again silences women's experience.
Ultimately, I think women need to do what they want with their bodies. (this relates to the idea of pressure that I read about in the orgasmic birth thread -- does pressure exist, and is it pressure just because we are talking about it?) I'm not sure, but for me, the pressure is certainly there, and I am certain that I will have to continually defend my choice to not breastfeed to my in-laws (especially father in law -- isn't that interesting!).
With all this breastfeeding talk, I had a dream about expressing milk for my dog! Oy!
I hadn't thought explicitly about the connection between societal responses to breastfeeding and systems of signification, but it is a great way to view it. I think the fact that in our culture breasts are so firmly believed to belong to men is one of the things that made breastfeeding an empowering experience for me, becuase it's almost like taking back your body from the male gaze that it's belonged to for so many years. But as you point out, this can also go the other way, and I think we have to encourage female ownership of our own bodies in every context.
I also think that talk of what's "natural" is always suspicious, and always motivated by some kind of social agenda (as in "it's only natural for women to want children and then to sacrifice their career and life projects to raise them..."). But I think talk of the "natural" is inevitably a part of the dialogue on breastfeeding because people who are repulsed by breastfeeding always, always go there, and tell you that it's "unnatural." Of course, they follow this up by comparing it to shitting, which seems completely contradictory to me, as I can't think of a more "natural" activity for all animals.
So to me breastfeeding seems like a kind of subversive act, and one way to sort of wrest control of how the female body is viewed away from the heteronormative status quo. It felt to me like a way of owning my body rather than yielding it back up to the collective male gaze, and I felt further empowered by the fact that I was the only one who could protect my daughter's health in this way. But I agree that this will not be the same for everyone, and what seems like an empowering experience to some will seem like enslavement (to the baby) for others. But I also think that looking at the layers of meanings that have been built up around the body throughout different time periods and cultural contexts is a good way to raise awareness and loosen our cultural beliefs about what's "natural."
I see. I hadn't thought of the idea that people often express their discontent about breastfeeding by deeming it unnatural. I can see how evoking the natural would inevitably come up in defending this practice.
I can certainly see how it would be an empowering project for many women, and I encourage it.
(but I still think we need to listen to women when they say they don't want to, not in a judgmental way, but to ask them about their experience)
thanks for your reply
Thank you for the post. Pregnancy and children have taken me from an invisible girl to a public person, and I'd love my privacy back. Not going to happen until I'm old and invisible again, or when I'm out and about sans children, but I like to dream.
I've nursed four children (still nursing my youngest), and I've not experienced harassment for it, but people sure are nosy! And they love to give me unsolicited advise or compliment me when my kids behave or glare at me when my kids don't. So it goes.
Actually, my husband has had more public interference, as "motherly" women have grabbed crying babies from him because he "obviously needed help."
But we are discussing breastfeeding.
I chose to nurse primarily because it's free. It's worked well. I believe I would have had more harassment had I bottle-fed. All the social support networks here seem to focus on lactation support.
As a result, none of my kids have had to deal with the kind of food allergies I faced as a baby and young child. Mine were terrible. My kids, on the other hand, eat everything without screaming for hours.
I have friends who were unable to breastfeed. One was because of the lack of support. I had a lactation consultation early on when I ran into problems with my youngest, but she never got one. I have another who was warned not to nurse by her doctor because of health problems, but I don't know how trusting I would have been.
My parents warned me that women in my family didn't do well nursing, but I have a suspicion that the doctors probably had misleading information for them.
I think either choice should be respected. Despite the public nature of this post, I appreciate my privacy and am sure that plenty of other mothers do to--even and especially when the kids are present.
I want to preface this comment by saying that I do not have children, but will probably be having one in the next year or so (assuming everything works out, of course). I have also recently helped a good friend through a pregnancy/birth.
That said, I am very happy to read this post because it helps me as a future mother be more informed about the choices I will make. I think that's the bottom line, here. We have a choice. We should be given in the information to make that choice, and then we shouldn't be judged for the choice that we make. (Kinda like a lot of feminist issues, right?)
Unless we actively seek out this information or have a good support system of parents in the know, new mothers aren't informed of their choices in the matter. Or they aren't framed as choices. Women either get guilt for not breastfeeding (it's not always possible) or don't get taught how to breastfeed properly. The latter is a real problem because the women my age probably weren't breastfed either, so even our own mothers can't help us!
And just like other issues, the two sides get simplified. The formula companies present formula as a convenient choice, free of any complications, containing the latest in ultra-digestible protiens, etc. (Heck, they literally hand it away for free in hospitals!) But we're learning there's more to it than that.
Breastfeeding can also be presented as an easy choice--after all, it's natural! Well, it's not easy. I saw my friend go through pain while her nipples adjusted. She almost gave up several times, but now both her and her baby are healthy and happy. He nurses when he wants to and she's free to do so.
The important thing here is information. It really is power.
The formula companies present formula as a convenient choice, free of any complications, containing the latest in ultra-digestible protiens, etc.
Exactly, and then you hear about stuff like the trace amounts of melamine in formula, which was condemned by the FDA when it was only in formula and milk in China, but now that it's been found here they've changed their story, and it's perfectly safe. Yes. Melamine. perfectly. safe. I'd love to know which formula company execs have insider status with the FDA, or how much they've contributed to funding various FDA programs. The AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) used to say that formula was an equally healthy choice to breastmilk, until it was revealed that one of the formula companies (Nestle, I think) had contributed a huge chunk of money toward the contruction of the AAPs new headquarters. After that they changed their position to the current one. Toxic capitalism indeed.
I'm not a mother at all (and don't currently plan to be), but I wouldn't trust a formula milk. Anything put together like that just drips with suspicion for me.
I found this post an interesting read, however, because I work at a cafe that has put up a "breastfeeding friendly" sticker at the door. Everywhere's supposed to be breastfeeding friendly here (in Ontario, and under Ontario's Human Rights code) but people (by and large) generally aren't comfortable with any woman taking her breast out in public, whether it's to feed an infant or not. I was so surprised that we "needed" a sticker advertising it. I mean, if a woman starts breastfeeding her baby in public, is it anyone's business but her own?
On a somewhat related topic, you might find this an interesting read, however. It's about a woman who got kicked out of a pool for breastfeeding there. There were two arguments: the mother's was that it is legal to breastfeed in public, wherever you please, and the pool's owner saying that she kicked the woman out of the pool out of concern for the baby's safety (s/he could have been imbibing chlorine because the woman had not gotten out of the pool and showered first). The pools owner, however, also hired security thugs to deal with the protest planned in response to the issue (not mentioned in this article), which takes away from that argument...
Ok, I stand corrected a few times over, confusing articles and such. Read the article, not my summary.
Well...I'm not sure why someone would want to breastfeed IN a pool. I dunno. It just doesn't seem as comfortable a place as outside the pool but that's just me. Though it seems like the last place people should be weirded out about seeing a breast.
The control theory makes sense. Basically, a lot of people will criticize if you never breastfeed and the longer you breastfeed after a year old, the more people will criticize. Can't people mind their own business?
But with barely any maternity leave in the States, who can expect a mom to use breast milk for many months?
Most of my friends who have kids have done it for at least the six months, but you have to get used the fact that you're going to be pumping a couple times a day. I did it for a full year until my daughter could have dairy milk, because the corn syrup in formula poses a risk for her. I intended to quit pumping but keep nursing at bedtime, morning, and lunch (I go to her daycare), but she kind of self-weaned a couple weeks after her birthday. I was soooo glad to be done pumping, but I kind of miss nursing now.
My sister-in-law just had her first baby. She had a natural birth and decided to breast feed. She is pretty much my feminist hero right now. :o) In one of our conversations about what pregnancy was like, and what she thought the birth process would be like, she told me that if you are breast feeding, the saliva from the infant is basically "read" by the breast, and the milk adjusts accordingly. I'm assuming this means if the baby is getting sick, specific nutrients appear or intensify, etc. Isn't that amazing? If I didn't already know, learning about pregnancy through a close friend who was willing the share a lot with me just made me so proud of the female body. Granted, and there's been so much written on this academically, this is where it gets tricky, because one doesn't want to say that women are made to be mothers... but we are in some very primal, biological way, if in no other. And to see how her body just knew what to do, when to do it... amazing.
she told me that if you are breast feeding, the saliva from the infant is basically "read" by the breast, and the milk adjusts accordingly.
Can you support that with some facts? B/c it smells like bullshit to me.
I'm not sure about "reading" the baby's saliva, but the mother's milk does constantly adjust to the baby's needs. At first it's super rich and fatty, and if you have a preemie it has even more potent immune qualities since the baby has no immune system of his/her own for the first few weeks. Preemie milk is highly valued by milk banks because of this, so I donated a lot of my extra milk the first few weeks for preemies whose moms couldn't breastfeed. Then as the baby gets older the milk becomes less fatty, and changes in it's immunity qualities depending on what mom and baby have been exposed to. My daughter was born early, right at the beginning of flu season, and my midwife told me to go get the flu shot because then my daughter would get the antibodies to the flu from me as my body responded to the shot... It does seem kind of amazing to me.
And for what it's worth, my daughter is 13 months now and barely got sick at all during her first year, even though she's been in daycare since 3 months. Not a single ear infection, a couple of colds, and one bout of pink eye, but that's it. Four of the other babies in her room have had to get tubes in their ears because they have so many ear infections. But I'm lucky and can spend my lunch hour at the daycare, and I think that made a difference since I was being exposed to whatever was going around there, so my milk was full of the antibodies to whatever she was being exposed to. That probably does make a difference.
That there is a debate over this astounds me. I read many of the comments on the linked article and I am surprised that so many people are against breast feeding in public.
That being said, I am glad to see that people here are not against mothers who do not breast feed. I was allergic to my mother's breast milk, and had to be bottle fed. My brother was the same. I realize that there are a number of studied benefits to breat feeding, but both myself and my brother are very healthy, intelligent, and happy.
It's funny that the Academy of Pediatricians officially recommends breastfeeding for at least 6 months, but preferably a year, and then as long as is mutually desired by mother and baby. And yet, as soon as there's any problem, like the one you mention, the doctors just throw their hands up and recommend formula. It's hard to understand. Babies can't actually be allergic to breastmilk. They can be allergic to foods in the mothers diet (like dairy protein) that comes through in the milk, but a competent lactation consultant will have that identified and eliminated in a matter of weeks. Doctors, on the other hand, don't tend to try, so if you tell your doctor that the baby is having trouble they don't even mention the possibilities and just tell you to switch to formula. And this, after giving all this lip service to breastfeeding...
I was also quite allergic to my mother's breastmilk. And, yes, there may have been ways around it and consultants could have found a diet for my mother, but I was pretty much dying. There was no way I could have waited for my mother to find a diet that wasn't killing me.
My cousin had a similar problem when she tried breastfeeding. Her milk was not nourishing her baby enough for the baby to thrive. My cousin did everything she could to continue to breastfeed, but it got to the point that formula WAS the only option.
If I ever get pregnant and have a baby, I'd no doubt do my best to breastfeed. However, failure to successfully breastfeed is often laid at the feet of mothers who do everything in their power to feed their children well. I really dislike that women like my mother and my cousin are sometimes fed guilt trips because it's other people's opinion that they didn't try hard enough, find the right doctor to help them, or didn't listen closely enough to what the lactation consultant told them to do. I know that wasn't your intention (or the intention of others who pronounce "Breast is best"), but many mothers do take it this way and feel enormous amounts of guilt as a result.
For sure, I can't understand the whole guilt trip thing. As if you're not already stressed out enough by medical problems, concern over your baby's growth, etc.
I just think that there's often no support, or not enough support for moms who have trouble breastfeeding. And I would never advocate that you leave a child malnourished while trying to solve breastefeeding issues, but you can supplement while searching for the solution. In my experience this is not offered as an alternative, and the pediatrician pretty much thinks it's all or nothing. A lactation consultant will recommend the minimum amount of formula that the baby needs to receive each day to continue growing until the breastfeeding issues are resolved. The doctor will just tell you to switch to formula. But this is reflective of their different approaches. Most lactation consulants are midwives, and midwifery is woman-centered, while conventional medicine is patriarchal through and through.
Mother of two formula fed children here. In both instances we had medical issues - one time with me, the other with the chld. Issues is an understatement.Each of us was in a life or death situation so I am not the person to ask for birth stories :)
I appreciate the poster who said they want their privacy back. I am a staunch feminist. I listened to a lot of questions and conversation regarding the formula issue. I initially patiently explained the reasons that we couldn't do so and over time I began to resent people's inquiring into my decision. I did not waiver on my insistence on my right to chose parenting style and ultimately I stopped granting people the insight into that decision. Frankly it's no one's business . It really empowered me to chart my own path with my two fine boys.
Now can someone please comment on the "touch the belly" fetish here in the US. I nearly took the head off people who started rubbing my stomach. I found that incredibly invasive.
Now can someone please comment on the "touch the belly" fetish here in the US.
Seriously. I never could figure out why your body becomes public property when you're pregnant. A friend of mine made me a tshirt that said "please don't touch the bump" right over my stomach. The thing is, some people read it and then just laughed and touched it anyway.
I think it's a sort of tribal-instinct-based fascination with pregnancy and the thought that in some sense your new child is the community property of the tribe. I can't look at a pregnant women without thinking "wow that's cool!"
I also doubt that it's a "touch the belly" fetish in the U.S. so much as that in other cultures no one would think twice about doing it because there isn't the same obsession with personal space and individuality. In highly homogeneous cultures strangers don't feel so strange because they're all basically just like you. Americans are pretty well known to require more personal space than most other people in the world.
Yeah, I think it's a positive thing for a culture to feel invested in its collective children. But I think it's strange that this pretty much stops at birth (hence the hysteria about abortion but lack of support for single moms). In a traditional Chinese village, for instance, the "elders" take an active interest in children and will give younger families advice and help in dealing with kids. In our strange Western form of isolated nuclear families (a product of the Victorian era and industrial revolution) this would be considered intrusive, but it's also very isolating. It's not like everyone just naturally knows how to handle kids with no experience.
An interesting note on the topic of guilt trips: pediatricians often guilt breastfeeding moms into worrying about whether their baby is getting enough vitamin D and iron. For instance, babies who had the cord clamped or cut right away, as is conventionally done in the U.S., will become anemic before the 6-month mark when they can supplement with solid foods, because they lose all the blood that's in the umbilical cord. If you don't cut it right away this doesn't happen. Since my daughter's cord wasn't cut until the blood stopped pumping, I didn't give her an iron supplement, but just had the lab test her iron level whenever they took other blood tests. The doc was convinced that she would be anemic and practically berated me for not supplementing. She never became anemic, and then our doc acted like it was this bizarre coincidence, ignoring the many reputable medical studies I had cited that indicate that this is a basic medical fact.
A similar thing happens with vitamin D. Since it’s a fat-soluble vitamin, the amount you get in your diet doesn’t go into your milk like vitamin C does, for example. But your skin produces it when exposed to small amounts of sunlight, and the stored amounts you have in your body do make it into your milk. So I did controlled amounts of tanning while pregnant, and then exposed us both to 10 minutes of sunlight several times a week while nursing, and so she was never vitamin D deficient. Sun exposure only puts you at risk if you're exposed long enough to burn, but you get enough exposure for vitamin D production long before you would burn. The vitamin-iron supplement they give nursing babies often upsets their stomachs, and then guess what the doc recommends. Switching to formula, of course. But this was another thing the pediatrician and nurses tried to bully me and guilt me about. You seriously can’t win.
My sister is dealing with the 'guilt' of having to stop breast feeding right now. With her first child, she was able to breast feed for a week, but then her breasts were so sore, cracked and bleeding that she had to stop because she was in tears every time her daughter ate (she did have the creams and everything).
She just had her 2nd child on Tuesday and tried breast feeding again. It was going much better, he was latching on very well, but he wanted to eat constantly (every 2 hours for an hour+ at a time). She decided to start him on some formula and to pump a couple bottles a day of breast milk too. Well, I was there yesterday when she hooked up her pump...the only thing that would pump out of her breasts was blood (due to the cuts around her nipples). She decided then to just stick with the formula. She feels guilty about it, and her doctor will probably make her feel more guilty (she joked about keeping the bottle with the blood in it to show him). But it's what is best for my sister and I am trying to tell her not to feel so guilty.
Yeah, it can be really hard to get past the first week or so. In my experience the creams don't help at all. Almond oil was the only thing that worked for me. My sister had problems like that both times, and with her first she gave up and went to formula, but the second time the public health nurse came out several days in a row and helped my nephew learn to latch on right so it wouldn't hurt her like that. But we did use formula in the middle of the night the first few days when the nurse wasn't there to help us. He was such an enthusiastic eater that it was hard to make him stop and re-latch properly, and we didn't know the little trick of putting your finger in the corner of their mouth to break the suction, so pulling him off and starting over made it way worse. Yikes.
I'm European, I had both my kids here. It's not done in my country. It's just not done.
It still bothers me by the way.
I have to say, I've learned a lot from this discussion :)