"Hollywood and the fashion, cosmetics and diet industries work hard to make each of us believe that our bodies are unacceptable and need constant improvement. Print ads and television commercials reduce us to body parts — lips, legs, breasts — airbrushed and touched up to meet impossible standards. TV shows tell women and teenage girls that cosmetic surgery is good for self-esteem. Is it any wonder that 80% of U.S. women are dissatisfied with their appearance? Women and girls spend billions of dollars every year on cosmetics, fashion, magazines and diet aids. These industries can't use negative images to sell their products without our assistance. Together, we can fight back."
Via.
I become more and more pissed off each day with what I see around me - in advertisements, television shows, films, on the internet, in magazines, etc, etc, etc. A very limited, made-up, oftentimes airbrushed view of what a woman's body should look like. They are mainly white, large-breasted, thin and tall. Of course there is nothing wrong with looking that way, and those women certainly are beautiful, but what makes me fucking sick to my stomach is the fact that we don't see the gorgeous, wide diversity of color, ethnicity, shape, and size that is found among the US population of women. And to be honest, for those who don't know, this has made me feel really, really bad about myself in the past because I used to feel like I never measured up. I am POSITIVE that I am not alone in this.
How much time do we waste worrying about what we look like when we could be worrying about things that are much more important? To ourselves, and to the world?
What is this saying to our sisters, our daughters, our mothers, our friends, and all the young girls growing up in America today?
I hate the argument that "it's what people want to see." That society wants to see "perfect", "flawless" people in the media. BULL-FUCKING-SHIT. I want to see more women who look like ME and the women in my life! And I'm positive that I'm not alone in that either. The body type represented in the mainstream media can only be achieved by about 3% of women. So what does that do? Simply put:
A. It gives women unrealistic expectations of what they should look like. It's a look that is near-impossible for most women, and American women spend billions of dollars a year feeding into the cosmetics/cosmetic surgery/"beauty" magazine/dieting industries in order to chase something they can basically never achieve... INSTEAD of being encouraged to reach a healthy size and weight for their own body type, seeing themselves for the beautiful women that they are, realizing that their perceived flaws are what makes them unique and wonderful, and realizing that they are so much more than their waist size. (But a society of happy, healthy women who loved their bodies wouldn't make these companies money, now would it?)
B. It gives too many men an unrealistic expectation of what a woman should look like. It also causes a lot of men to place an extraordinary amount of importance on a woman's appearance. When you are constantly bombarded with images of thin, airbrushed women (who are often posed sexually FOR the male viewer), what else would you expect? [Obviously (and thank GOD) there are men who escape that brain-washing to find the beauty in each individual woman, inside and out. I feel bad for the guys who can't do that. But actually, not really. Because they should be smarter than that.]
There is nothing wrong with wanting to look and feel attractive. There IS something wrong with our consumer capitalist society controlling our ideas of what it means to look and feel attractive, and causing perfectly healthy, attractive women to question their size and attractiveness. Do you think they care about how we feel? How it is affecting society as a whole? Do you think they consider the fact that they are creating generations of women who are sad and dissatisfied with their bodies, more prone to eating disorders, and more depressed because they feel like there's no way out of this mess and they'll just feel "ugly" and "fat" forever unless they're always on a diet??
NO. Wake up. They only care about making money. This should come as no surprise, but I think we forget sometimes.
Anyway, I didn't mean for this to be such a long rant, but it has been on my mind lately. It's something I think about a lot, because I am one of those who feels it's inescapable. Everywhere I turn I see images of women (usually highly sexualized), and it sometimes causes me to question whether there is something wrong with me. I fucking hate it, and I know too many women who do the same thing. It is a waste of time, and I want to reach a point where I don't give into those thoughts anymore. Because I am a beautiful and healthy woman, and there is nothing wrong with me.
I once heard that the most revolutionary thing a woman can do is love her body. I agree completely. But I want to see a world where it's totally normal and encouraged for a woman to love her body, rather than it being revolutionary act.
Here is a link to a website that has a bunch of other websites where you can actually see the re-touching that is done for magazines. It's horrible. Seriously, there is no reason to slice an extra-inch off a thin model's waist, or make her breasts look a cup size bigger. Seriously! These women are absolutely beautiful already! It's disgusting and totally unnecessary that they receive digital plastic surgery. What. the. fuck. It's a dreamworld created for profit at the expense of people's emotions, self-image and self-esteem.
I'm going to start thinking of ways that we can actually fight back. First thing is - no more "beauty" magazines. As soon as I gave them up, I felt better about myself. Some alternatives to Glamour and Cosmo are - BITCH, Bust, and Ms. Magazine. They're progressive, awesome, and not "beauty" obsessed.
Also, men can start to challenge this by refusing to buy men's magazines like Maxim and Playboy. And by taking down those god-damned Playboy bunny posters. And by talking about women in a context that is NOT sexual, and is NOT regarding her body.
I want to start writing letters to various companies too, asking for a wider representation of women in their advertisements, and threatening to get other people to stop buying their products. More to come on that. I'd love some help.
I'm also thinking of starting a blog specifically about women's self-esteem and body-image, and how they are affected by the representations of women in the media. I'd also like to write a book, hopefully for young girls struggling with negative body-image. Good idea?
Obviously not all women struggle with this problem the way I have, but there are a significant amount of women and young girls out there who struggle with it every day - and even if you don't, it is still important to think about if you have or are planning on having children. This is why I am dedicating my life to ending these fascist beauty ideals. ALL girls and women should be encouraged to achieve physical, emotional and mental health in a positive, balanced and healthy way. And all girls and women deserve to feel beautiful. Because they are. End of story.
Beauty must be defined as what we are, or else the concept itself is our enemy. Why languish in the shadow of a standard we cannot personify, an ideal we cannot live?
(My first post here :] cross-posted at the (r)evolution starts within. )
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Thank you for posting this. I feel the exact same way! You are definitely not alone in this.
I will never forget being told when I was little (about 5 or so) that I would never be cute or what society thought was pretty, I was "classic". What the hell? Many times I look in the mirror, and all I see are parts of myself - and their flaws. Most of the time, I try not to even look in the mirror because of what I will see. I know it's wrong, I know it's the advertising industry trying to fuck with me and that I am beautiful...and then I get angry at myself for letting them warp my brain (and I don't even read fashion mags or have Victoria's Secret catalogs!).
I am at the point where I am tired of just ranting about it to the same people over and over again - and only my SO and my mom "get it", and understand my anger.
Let me know what I can do.
As the blogger Samara Ginsberg (of the F-word) once said, women are either pressured to hate or love their bodies. The first is bad, but the second is also flawed. Why should a woman be expected to love her body any more than a man is expected to love his?
I often do wonder how men feel about theirs, but there's not so much pressure on them to conform to only one standard. Men of all sizes and shapes (though not always colours) are seen in the media. But still, what is focused on in a man is his intelligence, sexual 'abilities', achievements and such.
To answer to the question, I am young, so of course I love my body! It's in its prime, it's functioning great. It's ridiculously sad that at the time when our bodies are at their best and we're most flexible, energetic, etc., we're at our most critical. I want to make the most of it because I know it will not be like this forever. There are other beautiful things about age, but right now it's important to feel good about yourself when everyone else is telling you not to.
Exactly. The ultimate problem isn't just that women are given negative messages about their bodies, but that so much importance is put on their appearance in the first place. Telling women to love their bodies is better than the alternative, but it still says, "The way you look is the most important thing about you."
It's a tough thing to deal with because it hits us at the core. Unfortunately, I think no amount of positive counter-messages can possibly work.
In my experience, the best remedy or weapon against distorted body image is to go beyond it completely and truly focus on everything but appearance. Stop reading so-called women's magazines. Change the channel when you see diet ads. Get rid of any mirrors in the house that reflect more than your face, for brushing your teeth and hair. Get rid of scales. You don't need to know your weight, only your dress size.
Really focus on the moment and on what you've doing, on exactly **who** you are, and what you love, at all times, whether it's reading an excellent book, watching an enjoyable film, going hiking or cycling, or painting something. I've done these things and can honestly say I don't care about my appearance nearly so much as I did even two or three years ago. If the world around you doesn't change, you can change your own outlook and feelings and encourage other women to train themselves in the same way to disregard outside standards. I won't go so far as to say it has improved my love life and increased my income and job security, or anything like that; I'm just saying that how I look causes me much less concern than it ever did before.
I'm working on loving myself, it's a difficult task.
Health at Every Size is a great movement to look into outside of dieting. Last time I wrote about it I was accused of "shoulding" and "called out" on my "BS" (it's really funny, actually, that someone would accuse me of such) because I recommended it for Oprah. Anyhoo, it's basically the radical idea that you should take care of yourself but outside of that let your body be what size comes naturally to it.
My "offending" article is here. Sorry for all the sarcastic quotes, I just find the comment from when I posted it here completely laughable.
I should add, that I agree with the concept that choosing between hate and love is kind of silly. I can't think of anything that I either hate or love wholeheartedly (unless you count people like my family, friends and dog). I'm somewhere between hate and love when it comes to my body, I'm trying to get closer to love but I know that complete unconditional love is a lofty goal and probably not completely possible. I'm close to accepting it for what it is, but I'm still far from loving it.
I also agree about the magazines, for the most part. I like that Bust uses more varied looks in their models but they could do a little more for the plus market than they do. I would love to start my own magazine that caters to fashion for (truly) every size, but that's years off.
(Sorry I had to double comment. I got sidetracked in the middle of the first one)
One more thing.
People should stop referring to themselves as BEING their clothing size. That bugs me.
I'm not a 16. I wear a 16 (most of the time), but that's not what I am. It doesn't define me.
Great article!!! To a lesser extent the same is true for men as well. I speak as someone who has to go to specialist shops to get trousers. I really dread to think what it must be like for women.
As far as practical steps thyat can be taken, I like the idea of a blog, and the idea of letting companies know what you think.
It may also be a good idea to join 'survey' groups. Harris online is one of the leading UK ones, but, I don't know what is available in the USA. A Google search should help. The surverys are about all manner of things from mobile phones to food to magazines...many surverys will not be relevant, but, some will. If enough right thinking people participate, then it may start to get a message across. After all, major companies don't spend thousands on such things for nothing.
As far as boycotting mags such as Maxim/Loaded etc. I wold seriously doubt that anyone reading this would even think about buying them anyway.
Ads on the telly, you can't really do much about. That said, internet ads can be blocked with adblock plus. It will also speed up your page loading times. Personally I couldn't live without it. It's only available to Firefox users, but, if you use IE, you may well want to think about switching. You can get adblock plus here...
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/1865?application=firefox&id=1865
Just a few thoughts...I'm sure there are a million and one ways to chip away at this....
When I was growing up there were no women's or fashion magazines around my house. Not that my mother was worried about the beauty industry, she just did not have the money to spend on them. So I grew up without them. I can tell you it made a world of a difference. The ads on TV, the beautiful models, that has not had a negative impact on me. I just see it as pretty people. But the magazines? For some reason if I pick one up it depresses me. I think it is because the insinuate sex, beauty and fashion are the only things I should desire. Plus, the lifestyle they advocate is terribly expensive.
I'm actually not sure what I think about this. So please accept my apologies if this comment comes out completely inarticulate.
"I hate the argument that "it's what people want to see." That society wants to see "perfect", "flawless" people in the media." - I don't want to see people who look average on tv. If I want to see sloppy, overweight, frumpy, unhappy people, I know a couple hundred. People want to see shiny, expensive, "perfect" people on the television.
I hate my body as much as the next woman, I have to admit. I feel like a fat cow even though I'm at the low end of the "healthy" weight range. Yesterday I discovered that I have the same measurements as Heidi Klum, which made me feel pretty cool for about 5 minutes.
I don't think we can do anything about it, though. People want to keep hearing these messages (because the media told us we did) and we won't stop wanting to see perfect actresses and models until the ad people tell us that that's what we want. Unfortunately that's just how it works. Anybody who thinks that they have one idea in their head that wasn't put there by ad agencies is either blissfully uninformed or in denial.
"I hate the argument that "it's what people want to see." That society wants to see "perfect", "flawless" people in the media." - I don't want to see people who look average on tv. If I want to see sloppy, overweight, frumpy, unhappy people, I know a couple hundred. People want to see shiny, expensive, "perfect" people on the television.
I agree with this. While I don't mind not having "perfect" people on screen, I would definitely prefer to see attractive people in the movies or on the telly. As you said, if I wanted to see average looking people, they're all around me (hence average).
I think it's natural for people who want to see nice, beautiful things. Wasn't there a study done that shows that infants gravitated towards a face that was more symmetrical than one that was more asymmetrical?
Also if people don't want to see nice, shiny things, then products being sold in the market wouldn't have to cater for such tastes (ie. cars, luxury goods, etc) and we'd all wear practical but dull-looking clothes, since they cost less.
I mean, even women aren't immune to this. Look at women's fashion which is sometimes more about looks than practicality. Also in terms of looks, this is just an anecdote of course, but I know a couple of female friends who watch LOST because there was a wide variety of good looking men.
Do people base a lot about a woman's value on her appearance? Yes, unhealthily and unfairly so. But I don't agree that people do not like to look at pretty things/people.
I totally agree that most people like to see "better-than-average" looking people in the mainstream media. My main argument is that the images of those people are very much controlled and limited, and they are not representative of all the beautiful women (and men) out there. I'm willing to bet many people would agree. For example, I know a lot of healthy, physically attractive women - but they all look different. They are different ages, and have different skin colors, sizes, heights, hair colors, hair textures etc. Why don't we see more attractive women who wear a size 12 instead of a size 4? There are certainly many size 12 women out their who have faces that are more physically attractive that some size 4 women. Why don't we see more of them? Or how about more attractive women of Middle-Eastern or Asian descent? Why do we primarily see white women represented? And why not more women older than 30?
I object to the fact that a rampant stereotype perpetuated by the media is that a women's desirability is decided by her physical and sexual attractiveness (and youth) than any of her other qualities. I am concerned about the messages this sends to people - especially children - and I want media corporations to be more socially responsible. People are responding to the environmental crisis and adjusting their ways, so I assume they could respond similarly to this if there was a big social push for it.
I also object to the fact that the media machine perpetuates the idea that "thinness" and attractiveness are positively correlated, because it's not true. Very thin women are attractive, and very curvaceous women are attractive. I want to see more curvaceous women represented POSITIVELY. Notice how most of the women who are portrayed as sexually or romantically desirable by men are thin, and conversely, many women who are curvaceous (if you have to put a number on it for the sake of argument, let's imagine this represents women who wear a size 12 or higher) are represented poorly, and become the butt of fat jokes. What does that say to women and girls who are the same size? That they aren't desirable unless they are thin? What if they are perfectly healthy?
And if (hopefully most) men are attracted to all different types of women, then why do we see only a few types of women represented? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder - but unfortunately, the images of people we set sight on most are controlled by corporations.
Gosh, all these thoughts make my head spin, haha..
Anyway, if enough people demand to see different types of physically attractive women in the media, AND demand that women be represented as more than sex objects, they'll have to respond. It's a huge under-taking, I know. But hey - any kind of social change has to start somewhere, right...
(Sorry for the loong response - I have trouble being concise. Gotta work on that..)
This is a very challenging subject that I'm sure many of us have spent alot of time thinking about.
Honestly my way of combatting this is to:
a) Try not to think about it. I mean, I'm not the richest person in the world, the smartest person, etc., and yet those things don't bother me. I don't expect to be. I always try to think about these comparisons when I find myself thinking about this, and it makes it easier to shrug it off. And:
b) Think about the fact that despite all these women out there not meeting the so-called ideal - pretty all of them have boyfriends, husbands, or at least have in the past had relationships and sexual encounters, etc. I.e., there is no evidence to me that those who don't conform to this standard cannot have friends, relationships, husbands, families, etc. In fact it's still true that almost any woman could walk into a bar at anytime and get laid. How many men can do that? Not many. So I guess what I'm saying is that although some parts of society may push these ideals - men don't as much as you think. Women who don't meet these standards can still do well with men/women, and so obviously men aren't expecting all women to look like this, or they'd be a heck of alot of single men/women out there.
Also as a test - ask any guy to name some women he knows personally who meet his ideal standard of beauty. Most will list off many women that you wouldn't expect. Most of the women they list the women themselves likely wouldn't consider themselves to meet the ideal.
I like this post.
"I think it's natural for people who want to see nice, beautiful things. Wasn't there a study done that shows that infants gravitated towards a face that was more symmetrical than one that was more asymmetrical?"
There's quite a few studies on attractiveness, facial symmetry, and hip to waist ratio. Some studies have actually found that people rate faces considered to be "average" and pictures that were natural received higher ratings than pictures of individuals that were generated or retouched with a computer to be perfectly symmetrical. Which makes sense because nobody has a perfectly symmetrical face. But, there are probably hundreds of these studies under different conditions with different results due to whatever variables. I think it's difficult to determine what our innate taste for beauty is though based on these studies because of the variety of variables that go into these studies.
Also, I feel that the mask of symmetry used in a lot of these studies is somewhat ethnocentric (here's an image of it I grabbed from a goggle search: http://web.mit.edu/cultureshock/fa2006/www/essays/face.JPG).
An Asian, Middle Eastern, Jewish, or African American person would have a hard time fitting into this "mask". But, I think it's pretty representative of the lack of diversity in the women we see in the media. Generally, beautiful women lack any features that are exotic and conform to the look of this mask, small nose, pointed chin, medium sized lips, etc. This is the lack of diversity, I think the poster is talking about (in addition to body type) that we do not see in the media. What's frustrating about how women in media is that, not that they are beautiful, but that the standard of beauty is a bunch of the same. I'd like to see more exotic looking women, more women of different heights, etc. I'd also like to see more women valued for their talents rather than they're symmetry.
I understand that the media portray unhealthy, (mostly) unrealistic views of women's bodies. I do not agree w those images and ideals. However, I do think that we must take more responsibility for our actions and decisions rather than blaming the media. Yes, girls and women try to emulate the images they see on the TV and mags. But the question is, why? The issue should not as much the representation of women in the entertainment industry, but why many strive to follow those ideals. I know, I know, patriarchy, we are embedded w the thought we must look like that, etc etc. But ultimately the decision to stop eating or to radically diet or to let those images affect your life to the point of creating an eating disorder, well that decision is yours, no one else's. I believe that American society in general is quite bent on blaming media and other factors on individual's problems. First of all, one chooses the media one is exposed to. You know askmen.com, E news, Cosmo, sports illustrated, and most other mainstream media will portray unrealistic images of women's bodies. So why read those magazines or watch those shows? And even if one is exposed to them, why must an article such as the one I mentioned above by askmen.com make a girl starve herself? No one should allow such things to have such a huge impact on them, to the point of wanting to conform to a certain beauty ideal so bad they starve themselves.
I guess I feel so strongly about this issue bc I am from Honduras, a country in which most of the population lives in extreme poverty, where there are starving children on the street. Every time I hear someone say that articles and pictures are the cause of body image issues, it makes me mad because I think in a way it is so superficial to be following the media to such an extreme when there are in fact children and people starving in other countries. I know this post will upset a lot of people; I am NOT saying eating disorders and body image problems aren't real or horrible, I know they are, I am just saying that to me it sometimes seems so shallow and self-indulgent to be so consumed by the media or by images we are shown. And there are plenty of women in the industry that are NOT your typical starving starlets/models, why not look up to them? It also bothers me when people say eating disorders are created by showing skinny women on TV, mags, and runways. Excuse me, but there are very thin and attractive ppl in "real" life as well...are we next going to blame those people bc girls are starving themselves to look like them? The media isnt the sole problem. I understand if every women in the media was super skinny and women in “real life" were not, but there are many many women and girls who are naturally thin. So obviously stating that the media is responsible for portraying thin women and ensuing eating disorders is not 100% accurate. Moreover, YOU choose what media to be exposed to, if you don’t like it, don’t read, watch it.
Sorry; in my comment above I was referring to another post on Feministing talking about an article on askmen.com on "how to tell your girlfriend she's fat."