I've been seeing this in the mainstream media lately, and I'm just wondering your thoughts on this. Recently a 9-year old boy from Colorado has written a book called "How to Talk to Girls" (see more info here )...basically it's a love and dating advice book, which originally started out at a pamphlet that he sold at his school.
There are several things that irks me about this; from the sexualiation of children, especially young girls, to the media spotlight/circus that is being focused on a young child. Also I can never get past the idea that people can produce movies and books with titles like "how to talk to girls" and "what women want" as if one person, a male usually, knows categorically how all women are, what we want, like, need, how we behave, act, etc?! Many of the quotes that I have read from this book are, frankly, sexist cliches regurgitated as dating advice. So, I can't help but think that books like this only perpetuate the idea of women as sex objects; solely for the purpose of male attainment/pleasure. Here are some quotes:
"It is easy to spot pretty girls because they have big earrings, fancy dresses and all the jewellery ... pretty girls are like cars that need a lot of oil," he writes in chapter three.
"About 73 per cent of regular girls ditch boys; 98 per cent of pretty girls ditch boys."
"It is also good to give gifts."
"If you do get a girl to like you, that is victory. Winning victory is a dream for most boys, but it is very rare. What does it take to win victory? Read on and find out!"
"Tip: Most boys in elementary school can hold on to a girl for only 30 days."
A quote from a TIME article says: "Greven does not support the "just be yourself" method of dating — he recommends copying someone cool"
Ugh.
Of course, I don't blame the 9 year old boy particularly for these kinds of statements, I blame our sexist and mysoginistic society. But it's also been disturbing to me that people all over are exclaiming how "cute" this is, and what great advice it is! What do you think? Are you as disturbed by this as I am?
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Yeah, people tend to think anything a child says or does is automatically "cute", and "precious", but I find the idea that this boy has already absorbed all these sexist generalizations at age 9 to be rather depressing.
Especially the ASSumptions on "pretty" vs. "regular" girls. Here's a thought kid, why don't you, I don't know, TALK to a girl to determine what her personality is instead of just presuming it based on what she looks like? Not to mention that I'm sure he makes a girl feel really special with the attitude of "I like you because you're not "pretty", therefore you're only 73% likely to dump me." Move over, Edward Cullen, there's a new "prize" in town!
This is so disgusting. And yet people are fawning all over it, because a child did it.
What gets me most is the sexualization of children in this. Kids at age 9 shouldn't even be WORRYING about boyfriends and girlfriends and how to "get" someone. Goddess wept, I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 14, and I've turned out just fine. Why can't kids just be kids anymore? It's sick, just sick.
Ya, i couldn't believe when my 8 yr old daughter told me she had a boyfriend! Her neighbor playmate had one as she's very stereotypically gender-socialized. A few weeks later her "boyfriend" broke up with her and she was very upset by the rejection. My daughter and I are very close so I had a talk with her about being hurt and also mentioned to her that maybe she didn't need to think about "boyfriend stuff", she's too young, etc. and gave her a little feminism lesson, to be aware of gender socializing and not to "fall" for it.
Did you see he has a sure to be a smash hit follow up?
How to talk to Moms.
I am sure it is full of charming tidbits as well.
This kid and his books give me the creeps. Are these the kind of family values conservatives scream they want taught to kids?
How very...Oedipal. I worry for this child's mental health.
"Are these the kind of family values conservatives scream they want taught to kids?"
Maybe the idea is "the earlier kids prove they're not gay, the better!!!"?
Ugh!I cant believe some of the comments on the amazon.com site! Some reviewers are calling his nook 'exceptional!' How horrible that girls who have earrings and bags will now have to deal with being judged or dismissed simply on how they look the part of the bad girl (just because shes too pretty). What I also dont like about this book is how now its (once again) a male making dating rules for both genders to follow.
I also dont like how the pruduct review for this book starts off by asking "are you smart enough to take over a girls heart?" As if its something to be won, or as if its a game or sport. A guy (or a pre-pubescent boy) wouldnt want to actually 'feel' anything for her, now would he?That wouldnt reflect gloriously on his taking of his prize now would it? Thats all we need, more boys building their sexual understanding on 'taking over' females. I bet that if a girl, or a group of girls wrote a book like this, it wouldnt be taken seriously by anyone. After all, girls are always boy crazy and its just silly musings by a pre-adolescent bunch of girls anyways. But by a boy....!
Theres something about an elementary-aged child being in a month-long relationship (or any length) that leaves a foul taste in my mouth.
I don't think children at that age can expierience real attraction?
Hes just spitting out generalized popculture themes of sexist and heteronormative dating.
I agree. The first time I was asked out, I was in fifth grade, and I turned the the boy down because I didn't even occur to me that he was asking me out. Because I was ten and it wasn't something I was thinking about at the time.