Our society obviously views large breasts as just about the best feature any woman could hope for. The idea of reducing them is simply un-American. Most men are more worried about their viewing pleasure than your back. And as per your friends reaction in the 7th grade, I'm sure many women are jealous of the attention you receive and would readily tell you how lucky you are at the same time as you telling them how wrong they are. It's the human condition. The grass is always greener, etc.

being a feminist and wanting a breast reduction are not necessarily related. Being a feminist is about ideals and who you are; wanting a breast reduction is about avoiding the numerous problems and some pain that accompanies them. Having a breast reduction will not make you less of a woman. Your friend from grade school is clearly buying into society's definition of womanhood a little too much. If this is what you want, then go for it!

Although I don't have your "problem", I bet that you are built just like my twin sister (she is a 34 DDD or E) and she is also considering the surgery. She also gets the worst reactions from people who have no business commenting on her decisions, it's actually kind of shocking.

also, to play devil's advocate, you should really really think about the procedure before you get it, because it is still major surgery and can have serious consequences.

in the UK, there's actually a group called BRA - Breast Reduction Association, who try and provide support for people who want the procedure, because a lot of women have a hard time convincing NHS that the surgery is about health, not appearance.
i think most people don't get the idea because it's involves health, not just appearance.

it's funny, that even though many women think big breasts are desirable, i have big breasts and for me they're an inconvenience. it's hard to find any clothes that fit right, and contrary to the stereotype, celebrities actually don't have big breasts. i think the beauty ideal is to have FAKE big breasts that don't need bras, on skinny women, or, to have small breasts but make them lok bigger with victoria's secret bras. natural big breasts often come with fat in other parts of the body, which of course is not in style.

for all the talk i hear from women in the real world and on the internet, it's hard to believe that there's anyone left who can't see the health benefits to having breasts proportionally sized to one's body. obviously, there are still a lot of stupid people around. when i went from a b to a c, in college, i was pissed and wanted a reduction just because it was harder to shop for clothes. this was a totally selfish reason, but i got a TINY bit of insight to what women dealing with truly large breasts might be going through.

my favorite famous example is soleil moon frye, aka punky brewster, who had one several years back.

no real point to this, except to say thanks for writing and do what's best for you. most insurance will cover this now if you get doctor's recommendations and jump through a few hoops to prove it's medically necessary.

There is a reason breast reduction surgery is covered by insurance. Very large breasts are a serious inconvenience, and can cause a lot of problems, as you've experienced.

I'm a 32 D. I love my body and I love my breasts, but if they caused me anything like the trouble you're describing here, I'd be seriously considering a breast reduction surgery as well.

Also, she thinks you want to have a C-cup because you don't want to look like a girl? C is average sized, and it's still pretty noticeable. I don't think I've ever seen a man with C-cups.

I know a couple of women who like you had physical problems due to their breast size. They got breast reductions and are sooooooo happy they did. They only wish they had it done sooner -- they are both in their 40s. You have very good practical and health-related reasons for choosing surgery. Do what is right for you.

I offer the feminist refrain of "my body, my choice".

I had a nose job when I was 18. I did have breathing issues corrected, but I also wanted a smaller, more streamlined nose.

I got two main types of reactions: creepy endorsement of the wonders of plastic surgery, or horror. A lot of feminist friends either insisted my 'real' reason was strictly health-based or were exceptionally judgemental.

Your mom is understandably concerned that you'll make a major, permanent change in your teens and regret it later. She's probably conflating your desire to be in proportion with a rejection of the body she gave you... it could help to stress with her that you want this because you love your body, not because you hate it.

For your back and riding... I used to ride, and if you've heard of a capsule bra, I'd reccomend trying one on. They're designed with the realization that boobs bounce in all directions and squashing them against a girl's chest is not the best way to go about it.

The woman you ran into doesn't even know what it means to "look like a girl". If she's had as much plastic surgery as you say, she's a victim of a society that told her she's not thin enough, built enough, round enough, voluptious enough, pouty lipped enough, etc, to be a real girl.

Your situation is completely different. And not wanting size F breasts in no way means you want to look like a man. I'd give her words as much thought as I would give to an Ann Coulter lecture on polite discourse. In other words; I'd laugh, and move on.

People just can't accept that a woman would want to change her boobs for health reasons, because you know, their purpose is for male pleasure, and if you're not doing something with them to make them look good, you're doing it wrong. : \ People who don't have big breasts (myself included) don't know what it feels like to have your boobs get in the way that often, so it's hard for us to understand. So it's either have great big knockers accepted by all but they cause you all sorts of problems, or have nice little ones that rarely get in the way but get you comments like "you need surgery to make those bigger, I know a guy".

When will people accept that boobs belong to who they are attached to?

I was a 38 D when I got into college (18), and it seems I have grown a cup size every two years since (actually it's slowed, thankfully), and I am now a 38 DDD -- people keep trying to tell me I've lost weight... no, I weigh exactly the same, it's just that some of the fat moved from my waist to my breasts. So far they aren't that much of a problem, but I have resigned myself to the fact that I will not ever fit into skinny-people department store clothes, and now only shop at Lane Bryant (I highly suggest their sports bras, at least for the time being since it's difficult for you to ride without pain -- I can run in one, and that's a pretty big deal).

As for the surgery v. feminism non-sense? Really? Are these people so despising of feminism that they'll blame your not wanting serious back problems for the rest of your life on feminism? Oh yeah, "you're so lucky to have large breasts" my ass. They're really not that great. I just have to say, to paraphrase Eric Cartman, it's your hot body, you do what you want. Even if that involves an invasive procedure like breast reduction.

The funny thing is, if you wanted liposuction or a latband (not assuming you need either), there would be nothing but support and none of this "you only want lipo cause you're a feminist" bullshit. Drives my ass crazy, I'll tell you. Give yourself time to finish growing (which I'm heard doesn't really happen until 24, yay), but you should get the surgery if you want it.

Two things: 1, Anyone who does not see that it is a medical, not cosmetic condition is clearly not thinking. 2, are you planning on having children? My stepsister is a FFF and is waiting until she is done having kids before her reduction. If you do it now and have kids later, you may need to go under the knife again.

It amazes me how enthusiastic our culture is about plastic surgery if you're using it to try to fit the patriarchal beauty standard. Somehow this is the only valid use of surgery now? It's like it's always opposite day in plastic surgery land. I've had a couple of reconstructive (knee, shoulder) surgeries done, and so it amazes me that people voluntarily opt for unecessary surgeries like plastic surgery and C-sections. You've got to be pretty desparate to do that just for your appearance or for convenience.

However, for your health and well-being, it's a totally different issue. Breast reduction is an example of a necessary and helpful procedure in your case. I've also had a friend who had a nose job to repair it after breaking it and having breathing issues. Another friend had a tumor removed from her sinuses (ouch) and had some plastic surgery done to reduce the scarring afterwards. These are situations where it's great that the medical industry can help you return your body to a state of healthy functioning. But these are choices about your body that you are making in order to enhance your experience and functioning, not to try to be visually pleasing to the male gaze. I guess in that way it is a feminist thing to do.

Having a reduction and being a feminist are not related. My sister had a breast reduction last year due to the constant discomfort and other health problems. That girl obviously knows nothing about feminism.

Do what is best for you. You can have a reduction and still be a feminist.

Unless you consider activities like horseback riding, running, hopscotch, or working at a desk for extended periods of time inappropriate for proper ladies, the types of activities that can cause women with big cup sizes real pain don't have so much to do with identifying as a feminist. I can think of plenty of women-hating women who'd still like to be able to go for a run without holding their boobs still with their forearms.

That said... I'm twenty four, and just last week I sized in to a 32DDDD, up a cup from my normal 32DDD. Your boobs very possibly aren't finished growing.

I appreciate having this story posted. I'm a rather short person and I've inherited the family condition of extremely large breasts. My ob/gyn is the one that suggested breast reduction surgery. While I don't have nearly the problems that you do yet I fully appreciate and support your decision to get the surgery. It's hard to do the things you love when you're constantly in pain of the time.

As for the argument about whether you're less of a woman or that you're just getting a breast reduction because you don't want to be womanly because you're a feminist is ridiculous. Feminism is about taking charge of what is best for your body and making an informed choice. Being a woman is want you want to define as womanly not what society decides is feminine or appropriate for their binary gender norms. The woman who made those comments clearly has a different world outlook and definition of feminism and beauty than you do. C'est la vie.

I hope that things work out well for both of you. I salute your positive body image and that you're doing what's best for your body.

There were a lot of comments on another thread recently saying how botox & dermal filler were hateful tools of the patriarchy.. Personally I go with "my body my choice". As a trans woman I've had some serious surgery... and some people seem to think that shouldn't be allowed.

C cup breasts should be a lot easier to deal with - you may lose sensation in the nipples though, how much that worries you only you can know. I decided to get my AAs expanded to B, which suits my frame, and that works for me.
You go for what you need. The technology exists - just use it wisely!

I think I might be the first commenter to have actually had the procedure. I also did it when I was 18; I'm now 28. I was 5'1", 120lbs, with DD breasts. I was seeing a physical therapist for back and neck pain, and I also wanted it for reasons that would be described as both "convenient" (yay! Bathing suits!) and "aesthetic," though I think the latter might more properly be described as "social," since I was tired of feeling freakish and having boys stare at me.

The first thing I will recommend is that you investigate what procedures are open to you for the reduction, whether your insurance will cover it (mine did), and what the short- and long-term side effects might be. I say that because I'm pretty sure they've changed the procedure since 1998, when I had it done, and I wouldn't want you to base your decision on the experiences of people like me who had a totally different surgery.

That said: in general, I am very glad I had it done. I feel much more comfortable in my body, both physically and emotionally. Clothes fit fine, and I'm no longer self-conscious about my figure (though that could also be due simply to increasing maturity as I age).

There were three big cons:
1. The pain. Breasts have a whole lot of nerves in them, obviously. They are more sensitive than most other parts of the body. Cutting into them and scooping out tissue thus hurts like a motherfucker. The recovery period was incredibly painful for that reason. Also, there is one spot on the far left side of my left breast that has stayed numb - not a big deal, but would have been if it were in a different place.

2. Scarring. I have noticable scarring on my breasts. I used to worry that it would be a turn off during sex; that has never actually been a problem. But it took me awhile not to feel embarrassed about it.

3. Breast-feeding. It is unlikely that I will be able to breast-feed, which is the biggest con, as far as I am concerned. It makes me quite sad, which I don't think I fully appreciated when I was 18. I fear that I have already done a disservice to my hypothetical children. There is so much pressure in our culture to breastfeed, I sometimes feel like it's practically not worth bothering to have kids if I can't nurse them myself. (Obv. untrue, but that's how it feels sometimes.)

However, all of these cons may not apply to you (well, except the pain - I'm guessing that's unavoidable). Find a surgeon who will take the time to go over all these and any other issues you need to discuss, and take your time making the decision. Despite the fact that I dwelled more on the cons than the pros, overall I'm happy I did it. I don't know if I would do it again, knowing what I know now, but I don't know that I *wouldn't*, either.

GOOD LUCK with the decision and surgery, if you decide to go that route!

Your augmented acquaintance is a jerk. That said, I think you should think very hard about reduction surgery if you want to bear children. Reduction can interfere with breastfeeding, which is not only good for the baby, but important to your health via lower chance of breast cancer, osteoporosis, other reproductive cancers, post partum obesity, etc. After breastfeeding, many women find that they have smaller breasts. I am also very large chested, but my breasts became more proportional after I breastfed my kids. If you never plan on having bio kids, go for the surgery. And even if you do, weigh the physical and mental health issues associated with each choice--it could be that it would be best to have the surgery now regardless of your future plans. And sometimes it is possible to fully breastfeed after a reduction too--choose the surgeon well!

As a skinny, not-quite-A cup, I hear all the time that my body looks like a 12 year old boy's. What I've learned from this is that it doesn't matter what a woman looks like, there is always someone to tell her it's not good enough.

This all ties back to the questions of what does a woman look like and who gets to decide? If a woman has huge muscles, does that make her look like a man? If a woman has small breasts, does that make her look like a man or boy? Why do we (societally) feel a need to even discuss whether someone looks like a woman?

If you want smaller breasts, get a reduction. Your body, your choice.

Wow...How does going from an F cup to a C mean you're trying to look not like a woman? I woulda slapped that lady who said that to you, haha.. A C cup is still a cup or two more womanly than me...

If they're causing you pain and discomfort, why would you want to keep them around? I can't even imagine being an Fcup!

I never understood the fascination with big breasts. I am a 38DD and can tell you that I never gained anything from having large breasts. Not a job,promotion, boyfriend etc... the only thing I did gained were stares and a f@cked up neck from all the years of hunching over to hide my breasts. Now I go to physical therapy and to a chiropractor to help with my posture and strenghtening my neck and shoulder muscles.
At Least the rest of me have "caught up" with my breasts,but when I was a teen weighing 100 pounds and walking around in a with 36D Bra was no fun at all.

I say you get the surgery done since you experience so much pain and continue with your chiropractor and incorporate some neck and shoulder strengthening exercises,plus some yoga/pilates.

Grrr, Comments like that make me crazy! (not comments to your post, but the one from your friend) I had a breast reduction this past April, I went from a size 36I to a 36D. I thought about it for a long time first, explored all of my thoughts and feelings and then decided to go for it. It is definitely not a simple operation, and yes, can have complications. I do not think that reducing your breast size makes you any less of a feminist, it certainly has not for me! If anything, I feel that I can be a more effective feminist. Now there is a greater chance that people will listen to what I'm saying, as opposed to just staring at my boobs all the time. There is a chat board that I was pretty active on, it is full of women in various stages of pre and post surgery, I would recommend it highly, it's loaded with great information that will give you a pretty realistic view of what you're in for. The site is www.BreastHealthOnline.org. I also recommend choosing a surgeon that you are very comfortable with. From reading the experiences of others, it seems that there are somewhat mixed reactions to having a male surgeon, and I personally chose a woman and was happy with my choice, both because she is a woman and because she is great. There have been lots of comments that the male surgeons tend to leave you larger than you want to be...yet another feminist issue to discuss, lol. My doc's office was staffed by all women, and that helped provide me with a really supportive environment. This is so important, I ended up having some complications and if my doc and her staff hadn't been so wonderful, the whole experience would have been much more challenging. I am happy that I did it, only about 6 months out, but life is different, and better. Good luck to you, this is a decision to make for you, and you alone.

That woman is an idiot. I, too, have had a breast reduction, for many of the same reasons betsy described. I actually didn't realize until afterwards just how much my back had hurt. I was in college at the time, so I spent a lot of time hunched over books studying, so I figured my back pain was me abusing my back, not from my breasts, but my back hasn't hurt while studying since. I went from a 36DDD to a 36C, and I couldn't be happier with my decision. Before the actual surgery, I wore a big, baggy hoodie for a couple of months straight to sort of "blur" more casual acquantance's memories of what I looked like. I'm not sure that would work as well for you if you decided to go for it, but it certainly helped me. My mom initially didn't want me to do it, mostly wanting me to wait until after I had kids because of the breastfeeding issue. After she did it and realized how happy she was with it, and saw how much more I wanted it when I saw how great it was for her, she decided to be supportive.

I had mine in 2006 when I was 21, and comparing my experience to betsy's, it sounds like the procedure has come a long way. To address betsy's list of cons specifically:
1. Pain - for pretty major surgery, wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it might have been. I wasn't very drugged up either because my stomach couldn't handle it. After a couple of days I was fine with just heavy doses of tylenol/ibuprofen. I'm not sure if that's the case for everybody, but it was definitely a tolerable level of pain/discomfort. I think I have pretty full sensation now - but I don't know for sure.
2. Scarring - again, not a big factor. They're definitely extensive, but really quite faint. Not to encourage doing it young, but younger skin actually heals better. My mom had the same procedure done about a year before I did, so she was obviously quite a bit older. I don't think her scars are bad, but mine are barely even noticeable compared to hers.
3. Breastfeeding - I don't know that I'll be able to breastfeed. I might not. But my surgeon thought I would have a very good chance of being able to. I probably wouldn't be able to be the sole source of the baby's nutrition, but odds are good that I'd be able to provide some if I want to nurse. I think as surgeons have gotten better at the procedure, and as lactation consultants are more aware of it, it's becoming more feasible.

I've definitely been happy with my decision. But it is a very personal and permanent decision - definitely talk to your doctor, research online (not to be gross, but seeing pictures of what it looked like during the healing process was good so I wasn't nearly as freaked out when I saw mine), ask lots and lots of questions. And if you decide not to do it, that's great too. As far as boyfriends (or girlfriends), I always figured any guy who wasn't cool with my size or scarring didn't deserve to see my breasts anyways! You definitely have to go with the your body, your choice here. Good luck!

I had a breast reduction about 6 years ago, and to directly comment on the "You don't want to look like a girl" sentiment, I can confidently say that I feel more connected to my body as a feminine woman than I ever did before. And yes, I'm a feminist. I like my body more because I look better (in that my breasts actually look like they belong to my body) and I feel better (back pain is almost all gone).

Speaking as someone who has attained that magical "C," I'd say no one who hasn't been in your situation can fully understand (though they can be sympathetic), and that there is no shame in wanting to be happy in your body, especially as a feminist. As others have pointed out, it's important to do all the research (I'm sure you have!) and figure out the best thing for you, just don't let others get you down about what is your choice.

fuck her. that's something that's medical and has nothing to do with apperance. I have a friend who's a DD and she wants to get a breast reduction because it causes her back problems. That's a health problem.
Tit size doesn't make a woman.

I am 5'1" with a very small frame, and by the time I was in 8th grade, I had a 40 DD chest. My biggest problem was with the high school guys - I was known throughout the school for having big breasts and the attention it brought was awful.

Fast forward to my twenties: college and my early career were met with severe back and neck pain, and migraines that kept me home in bed. I still garnered far too many unwarrented leers from men and relegated myself to wearing everything 2 sizes to big. Luckily, my first professional job brought with it great insurance that covered 90% of a reduction surgery.

I had my reduction in '99 and swear it was the best decision I ever made. Why did I get it? The body aches subsided, so it was medical. My body was finally better proportioned, I looked better in clothes and bought them to fit, so it was vain. While, like all women, I get chest stares from men occasionally, the look-at-the-rack-on-that-little-chick stares are gone. So, it was social.

It doesn't matter if you have a feminist reason to do it or not - it just matters if it will make you happy. Others' opinions should be damned; Mother Nature gave us all physical obstacles and we all choose to deal with them differently. Consult your head and heart; decide from there.

Being sort of bohemian and arty as well as a bit of an anarcha-feminist I've always been of the belief that control over one's body meant just that and not just control over reproduction.

That means I never liked it when women dictated to others either acceptable modes of dress or condemned someone for getting plastic surgery including sex reassignment surgery.

You are the one that lives in your skin. You do not have to justify to anyone else your reasons for making the body you live in more comfortable to you. Even if you use your body and presentation as part of your art the way some people with tats and piercings do.

The only questions that need asking need to be asked by you of your doctor and involve issues of safety, the mechanics of how it is done, what you have to do to be in the peak of health when doing it and what you have to do to heal well.

People have no real right to demand you justify it.

You are very well spoken (err...written) for your age:) Wish I had been a self-described feminist when I was a teenager!

After breastfeeding, many women find that they have smaller breasts.

I don't want to have the war of dueling anecdotes or anything, but in the experience of most women I know it's gone the opposite way - their breasts stayed bigger after they breastfed. Maybe just due to overall weight gain in some of them, but definitely not in all. But again, that's anecdotal evidence. I think the only point is that every woman's body responds in a different way to things like pregnancy and breastfeeding.

Same issue here: A to DD in about eight months when I was fifteen. After years of feeling like a walking sex object, I decided to own my body. I’m a climber, so I stopped shying away from the tight shirts most other climbers. On a glacier or with one’s hands in a basalt crack, loose clothing isn’t an option. Inspired by other women in my sport (and Clinton’s Post-eviscerated shirt see “Hillary Clinton's Tentative Dip Into New Neckline Territory”) I now proudly tote a great deal of visible cleavage on the wall. I challenge a man to whistle at me and my boobs while I’m sending a route or leading a team on glacier.

Your decision is your solution to this oppressive form of objectification and is a feminist issue. No matter what you decide, it is ultimately your way of empowering yourself to do what you love with freedom. Get on with your sporty, feminist self!

I wonder if the existence of breasts large enough to cause back problems has anything to do with the handicap principle? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handicap_principle)

Your old acquaintance (I won't call her "friend") is using her 7th grade brain on top of jealousy. Since she clearly wanted bigger breasts than she had it's hard for her to understand your not wanting your big natural ones. No doubt she deserved whatever sarcastic response you gave, but you might have shed some light into her dimness by telling her you were considering it for health purposes, to ease your aching back and to help your riding.

I have been aware of the procedure for years and I am glad other posters have given you empathy, advice and references. You are certainly not alone.

Your "friend" is an idiot. You need to take care of your health, and if anyone needs to have an opinion on your doing so it should be applause.

While this is rather the same topic except coming from the opposite end, I sympathize. I'm having a deformity fixed, but due to lack of tissue in the area they need to put in implants to fill it out. Now, keep in mind..this is something even my insurance has deemed worthy of covering. I know one other girl with the deformity I have. Our self esteem is crippled by it. We've both learned to fake it pretty well, but underneath it all we're stunted. They're so far out of the norm they don't even look like they belong on a girl at all. Or a human, for that matter. Theres little medically WRONG with them unless I wanted to breast feed(no babies for me thanks). People usually have one of three reactions when I tell them that I'm getting implants(which is required for reconstruction). A) They look down on me from this lofty high horse. "Oh don't do THAT." until they find out its for reconstruction then somehow its okay in their eyes B) They're utterly stoked on it because they're creepos. C) From their loft high horses, "Oh don't do THAT. I'm sure its not THAT BAD."

To all of the above I have the following response. FUCK OFF. I don't need your permission to fix what I have deemed a problem. Its status as a problem is pretty evident considering my intimacy issues that revolve around it. You asked, now just smile and nod.

On the topic of reductions: Be prepared to be treated like an unwanted stepchild by plastic surgeons. If you use insurance you are not their bread and butter. You are going to be treated as an inconvenience more than likely until you find someone worthwhile. Hang in there and stay strong. Hopefully the forewarning will lessen the shock.

Also, as someone with scoliosis I sympathize in that regard as well. Hang in there. I hope everything works out in your favor doll.

Betsy, post-baby breast size increase is probably from weight gain in most women, which is not to say that this is true for ALL women. Statistically speaking (I do public health research on breastfeeding), for the average woman, breastfeeding does slightly decrease breast size. I myself have gained a significant amount of weight over the years since having kids and am now a 36DD instead of a 34D, but my breasts are more in proportion to my larger body, and they don't cause me the back pain (and stares) that they used to.
My main point was that it is a significant decision to risk not being able to breastfeed, for one's own long term health as well as the baby's. If Liv proved to be one of the women whose breasts did not decrease in size after breastfeeding, she could still have surgery then.
And for all we know, Liv wants to have kids like a hole in the head. It is only a consideration if she does.

thank you, susy Q!

'I never liked it when women dictated to others either acceptable modes of dress or condemned someone for getting plastic surgery'

Liv-- I totally commiserate. At 19 (and 5'5") I'm a 32J and look forward to eventually getting an insurance company that will cover the reduction procedure (Tricare is great for everything but--their minimum requirements are ridiculous; I know some do, but how many women get headaches due to their breasts?)

My mother, on the other hand, is a 32A, and as soon as I became a C-cup (13yrs) my boobs didn't exist, I was discouraged from wearing clothes that fit in favour of baggy shirts, and suddenly weight-loss magazines began appearing on my bed. People who buy into the idea that breast size is proportional to woman-ness, perhaps especially if they are relatively small breasted themselves, seem to treat large-breasted women the same way most people treat celebrities: with a mixture of fascination and disgust. And so when a large-breasted woman gives up her breasts it's almost like a millionaire burning all of his money, sort of an "it's not fair" mindset.

Which is rather silly, really. Which is why the whole notion of boobs=woman is offensive, and why a commercial's female frog does not need breasts.

Not being able to shop for bras in "normal" stores and the way people treat you like public property (in addition to the back pain) really sucks, and you have my total sympathy. If you're amenable to the idea, you may want to try dance classes to help strengthen your back and ease the pain. Belly dance and ballet were very helpful for me.

I had a breast reduction when I was 18, and it was a great decision!
Granted- don't think that the magical C size will solve all your problems- it won't! I still can't wear tons of fashions, still can't run up the stairs without a bra on, and still have issues sitting at a desk.
But- from an E to a C was awesome! And I've never regretted it for an instant.

Personally, I wouldn't worry about the breast-feeding issue at this point. Unless you are planning on having kids in the very near future, I see no reason for you to continue living in pain and discomfort for x number of years, simply so that you can breast-feed your (currently) nonexistent children.

Your "friend" is clearly, as people have said, not the brightest bulb and is basing her response on the stereotypical image of what a feminist needs to be/look like/act like/support.
Pay it no heed.
Do what you need to do for you, and no one else!

I waited until I was 35 to have the reduction. I waited too long. I was a G cup, and am now a C. I have been so happy with the decision, you can't imagine. I am also a strident feminist. I have been on my state board of NOW for two years, and a member of NOW since my teens. Healthy Women is a feminist issue, don't let anyone tell you differently.
Not only has my back pain been alleviated, but I can buy bras off the rack instead of specially ordering them; I can wear blouses with buttons without big gaps all the way down my front; and my husband says my snoring has improved immeasurably. It has also helped with my asthma, taking the weight off my chest.
The only thing to remember, is if you plan to have children, you will not be able to nurse them after a reduction.
Go for it, and good luck!

When I was 14 I was 97 pounds, 5'1", and a 34D. When teachers, friends' fathers, strangers, etc. are making comments about your chest when you're 13 and 14, there's something wrong with THEM, not you, just like this is strictly your former friend's problem. Even as a feminist, I really let it get to me, I think partly because I didn't have any friends in the same boat to share with. I wore men's XL polos and tee shirts all through high school and my freshman year in college. I hadn't had a boyfriend until that year (no, men don't necessarily think large breats are sexy, they mostly think they're funny). When I was 19 my first, sociopathic boyfriend told me my breasts looked like "big nasty udders." I never took much pleasure in my body until I met my husband when I was 21 (yes, he's a feminist). I don't know if he really loves them as much as he says he does, or if he knows how sensitive I've become from constant comments, but he tells me and shows me every day how much he loves my face, my body, my brain, my cranky and cynical personality, all of it. You just need to surround yourself with feminists and fuck the rest!!!

Go for it.

It's your body and anyone who makes comments about it one way or another is just making comments and sharing an opinion.
There is only one opinion that matters in this case- yours.
Do your research. Get a good Doctor. Make sure you have plenty of time for recovery (longer than the doctors usually claim).

Personally, I think a woman should increase or decrease the size of her breasts as she wishes, regardless of pain or any other reason. What a lot of feminists are not aware of is how many women have increased the size as a way to not only survive financially, but, thrive and in the case of Pam Andersen, become a business with many employees.
I like my wrinkles, but, if someone doesn't and they want to change that for a myriad of reason and conditioning, I think she should go for it.
If they don't ands their agents are telling them to, I think they shouldn't.
It's the woman body and it's her choice.

It's your body, be as informed as you possibly can and make yourself comfortable. And ignore the negative and invasive commentary from anyone who offends you.

Big breasts can be a burden. And you can be relieved of it.

Good luck and good health

As a 26yo woman who had a D-cup in 9th grade, an F-cup in 12th and now wear (the american size equivilant) of a 34J, I feel your pain.

I have other large bussomed friends that have tried with their insurance (I currently have none) to get reductions and all have basically been laughed at. Even in my experience it is very difficult to convince even a female doctor that large breasts cause more than just minimal pain.

Another reason as well is that women's glandular systems (including the breasts) are not fully developed until about 22-24 years of age. Getting a reduction now may mean you need another reduction later.

As for now, pain and looks wise a good bra is EVERYTHING. American bra manufacturers push that a woman's band size should be three-five inches larger than the actual underbust measurement, when you should be wearing the actual measurement or within 1 inch. The band shouldn't move and the center of the bra should sit flat on your sternum. Every 1" around the bust larger than the band size is a cup size and so cup size is relative to band size. Go down a band size, go up in cup size and visa versa. Most large busted women wear far too large a band size to accomodate the lack of larger cup sizes in the lower band sizes. Try looking around on www.Bravissimo.com and see some of the many options clothes and bra wise there are for large busted women. The bras if you find one you like, you can often put the model number into google and find a US store that carries it.

I had a friend in high school who went through the same thing as you. She would talk to her doctor about it back pain and difficult to get clothes and all, but her doctor refused to authorize a consult to a surgeon because he didn't think breast reduction would solve her problem. Last time I talked to her she was still stuck with having to save up to pay for it cash someplace else.
Ultimatly I would think that is the first and biggest hurdel to get over, getting doctors to sign off on consults to allow get insurance to cover this kind of operation. And I wonder if typical insurance even would cover something like this.

I had this procedure done when I was 18- two days after I graduated from high school. I get upset when people try to tell me that this decision wasn't right for me, whether from a feminist perspective or an anti-feminist one. It was right for me, and my life is better because of it. I have less back pain, more self-confidence, and I can exercise more.

It was the best decision I ever made, and I am a huge advocate for it. Remember: this is NOT plastic surgery: it is a procedure for your health. It involves relieving back and neck pain, discomfort during exercise and other activity, and, yes, mental stability. Consult with your doctor, and see a couple of surgeons before you commit. Find a surgeon you like and let them haggle with the insurance company: they are better at it. I found a surgeon (after a few tries) who was willing to charge only what my insurance company would cover, so I didn't have to pay any extra fees. Recovery times vary and it depends on the type of reduction you receive. (Research this and discuss the options for reconstruction with your doctor). My recovery time from surgery to stitches out was about two weeks, and after that I was up and living life again.

Also think long and hard about side effects. Are you willing to give up sensation and breast-feeding? Will it be okay with you if there is significant scarring?

Oh, and one of the first things you should definitely do post-surgery is buy a pretty bra. Seriously. A red one or something. Because they certainly don't make pretty ones in my old size.

Personally, I wouldn't worry about the breast-feeding issue at this point. Unless you are planning on having kids in the very near future, I see no reason for you to continue living in pain and discomfort for x number of years, simply so that you can breast-feed your (currently) nonexistent children.

This was kind of a tough issue for me to talk about - because while I AM sadder than I realized I would be at 18 about not being able to breastfeed, I also agree completely with MadMaxine that you absolutely do not need to sacrifice your own well-being for the sake of a relatively small benefit to your hypothetical children. So I feel tugged in both directions on this issue. Sorry to go on about it so much, but I wanted to share the messiness of the feelings that can (doesn't necessarily, but can) accompany this kind of operation.

I'm bummed to hear everyone's difficulty getting insurance to pay for it. I don't know if it was easier 10 years ago or if I just had a very dedicated medical team - I remember them taking the pictures and joking (in a nice way) about how they were going to do everything they could to make it sound absolutely necessary. It worked, and insurance paid for most of it.

You have to live in your body, and it sounds like you can't. Feminism is not a religion. Get the surgery and be more comfortable with your horses.

Liza

You have to live in your body, and it sounds like you can't. Feminism is not a religion. Get the surgery and be more comfortable with your horses.

Liza

I've been considering getting implants for breast asymmetry that has made me insecure about my body in addition to making it difficult to find bras that fit comfortably. After discussing it with friends, a lot of my feminist friends told me straight out I wouldn't be a "real" feminist if I did it, while my not-so-feminist friends seemed to think I should do it because guys would like me more (even though I made it clear I don't give a shit).
I still haven't made a definite decision but I know when I do, it will be whatever will make me happiest with my own body.
Forget what everyone else says, it's your breasts, your body, your decision.

In answer to your question about books, I believe there is a book called Stacked about the cultural obsession with large (or any kind for that matter) breasts. I haven't read it though so it might not be completely relevant. Also, if you haven't read it, there is a wonderful book (that I have read) called The Body Project, which talks about female self-image. It covers much more than breasts and breast size, but the whole book is definitely worth a read.

I agree that no one should endure years and years of pain and other physical and psychological discomfort in order to breastfeed. On the other hand, I wouldn't call breastfeeding's benefits "small" to either mother or child. The health benefits last a life time for both. Women who have breast cancer probably do not consider this a "small" problem, nor do kids with asthma, type 1 diabetes, hearing loss from chronic ear infections, etc, etc. Of course, all of these things can happen even with breastfeeding, but breastfeeding's role in reducing in these and other problems is actually quite large. The benefits have to be weighed against the very real problems of very large breasts. Women need to make educated decisions, which means knowing all the pros and cons. I thinks Betsy's take is quite thoughtful. And keep in mind that some women CAN breastfeed after reduction surgery. If Liv wants to nurse her future children but feels she needs the surgery now, this is something to discuss with the surgeon.

How ironic that the plastic one is commenting on what a real girl looks like! :P You might want to give her some statistics on the average cup size of a person of your weight (real girls!).

I'm sorry. It's obnoxious but also very sad. Could you imagine being her, obsessing about all of this? Sheesh, what a waste of time and money. It's depressing how many women have internalized these destructive elements of society- how many will criticize other women, along with themselves. And even using gendered standards, aren't women defined by more than their cup size? When did bigger boobs = more of a woman?

Finally, do people always have to restrict feminism so? It simultaneously degrades women and feminists, suggesting that the goal of women should be to sexually appeal to men and if they don't they aren't real women, while mocking feminist rejection of this notion and further labeling feminists as "unappealing" outsiders. Bleh!

medicine is supposed to help you with your health, which is exactly what you are asking for. I don't think this is a decision that any feminist would take likely, especially because feminists usually don't hate themselves.

You don't see knee surgeons advertise for their services but plastic surgery ads fill college newspapers (and none of them are for your health). They lobbied hard in order to be able to do this, and they are reaping the benefits.

I actually saw a 5-minute segment on "new breast implants" on the news last night. It was literally a full-on Ad for "gummy bear boobs" on the fucking news (KCAL 9)! and they give you information on where to get them too!

You are not crazy. They are fucking blind.

Being from South Alabama, I know how hostile the area can be for feminists. You have to realize though, that these people tend not to like feminism because they don't understand it and so, naturally, they're afraid of it. I was raised, like most good Southern Christian gals, to think that feminists were something akin to the devil. Thanks to readily available information on it, however, I learned it was nothing like I was taught.

It's really hard, but sometimes the best way to deal with an ignorant person is to enlighten them. And if I've learned anything from watching many many Christians do it terribly wrong, I've learned that such a thing is best done in a gentle, patient manner. You can't be preachy. These people are just waiting for you to trip up, to get bitchy so they can say "just as I thought". It just reinforces their mixed up ideas and give them another reason to put their fingers in their ears.

Be honest with your friend and your mom. Tell them the truth. "No, it isn't because I'm a feminist. Feminism requires that we embrace femininity and natural women's bodies. I love my breasts just fine the way they are because I'm proud to be a woman, but they've become a burden and I realize I can't help that."

Hope that helps.

OMG!! this subject gets me so0o heated. I had breast reduction surgery when i was 16... i am turning 21 in a few weeks. Best thing I have ever done in my life ( young life lol). Do not listen to anyone who tells you their crap. If they haven’t lived it , they don’t know it. They do not know the stares on the street, the clothes that cant fit, the backaches, the marks on your shoulder from your bras, and the worst part was , being a young girl going through it, feeling violated by men, boys, teachers, and not knowing what to do.- have the surgery, its a medical procedure, that is why insurance covers it, most of it at least- You are not having this procedure for superficial reasons. I was scared, i kept thinking "what if" , am i doing something that will harm me? , but ya know what, i am thankful everyday of my life i had that surgery, and you will be also. and age did play a factor. I went to several plastic surgeons, some felt that i should be older til i was more "mature".. i found a great doctor, took a few weeks to get insurance approval, ,summer before senior year i had it- and like other posters said, i feel more like a "girl" now then i did then. if i did not have the surgery, id be wearing oversized guy sweat shirts, i feel attractive now, i was lucky, my mother pushed for it, my family was supportive, i often have this discussion with men and ignorant women, and they say its not medical.. but it is. I think a lot of people think "plastic surgery" or plastic surgeon" and feel its unnecessary- Some do not know enough about breast reduction and the problems that large breasts cause women.

As a feminist with large breasts (38DDD), I feel your pain - literally! I don't have anything new to say, but I did want to give you some advice:

Do not underestimate the value of the right bra! Have you considered having a specialty bra fitted? I am not talking about something you can buy off the rack at a department store. You need a professional fitter. Such stores/people are often affiliated with hospitals or clinics as their main customers are women who have had mastectomies (and are looking for a specially made bra), but they can help you too. These bras are expensive ($150+), but sometimes you can get your health insurance to pay for it, and they are worth every dime. Try looking in the yellow pages for "mastectomy bra" or use google to find someone in your area.

Obviously no bra can take the place of reduction surgery. But you might be surprised at how much of a difference it can make. (For the poster above with breast asymmetry - these types of bras can help you too! Both for comfort, and to look more even under clothes - if that is what you want.) Good luck.

I'm 5'1", 110 lbs and a 30DD #used to be a 30F#. And, I used to work in a specialty bra store. Unlike a lot of the posters here, I am glad for my large breasts #but not the attention from strangers, of course#. But I know how much of a pain in the ass they can also be. Soooo...I just want to offer a bit of advice here, echoing analog:

Please check out better bras first. They will dramatically improve your back pain. They are often expensive #mine are all at least $45#,but not hard to buy online or in any decently-sized city. Also, your insurance company may pay for them if your doctor can convince them that they are necessary. Panache makes an excellent sports bra in your size that I swear by and I gaurantee will help during horseback riding!

For your health, it's really important to explore non-surgical options. In the bra store, we got a lot of post-reduction women, and often their reductions only took off from the front of the breast and not the sides, thus not reducing their cup size all that much. Sooo, really check out your surgeon, because especially if it's a man, you can't assume they really know breasts.

And if it is what you decide what you want, by all means do it. Your body, your choice.

Even if you don't plan on having kids now, make sure you retain some breastfeeding ability if at all possible - because you may change your mind, and breastfeeding if successful is FUN (also cheap and healthy, but I view that as minor compared to how pleasant it is).

This said, waiting to have kids and suffer all the while seems absurd to me. My next-door neighbour had breast reduction at 18, and she said it was a fantastic decision she never regretted. Even if it meant not being able to nurse her kids (old fashioned kind of surgery).

Yes Liv, I'm with you 1000000%. Though I've never heard anyone say I only want one because I'm a feminist, I agree that that is the most asinine reasoning over.

I have however, had stupid comments from people such as "they're not that big" (wtf? i'm fucking 5'0 and wear a DDD and I'm not exactly a big girl), that I just need to change my attitude. Because yes, an attitude change will suddenly magically negate the fact that my breasts are uncomfortable, way too big for my body, get in the way when I exercise, and literally make it impossible for me to find clothes (I cannot buy dresses in stores. Most jackets and tops also do not fit, and if they do, they are still incredibly unflattering. I worked in a huge department store in the swimsuit department, and had to know everything about all of them, and there was not ONE SINGLE swimsuit that fit me).

A little ranty, I know, but this one struck a nerve.

I really wish I had a forum like this when I was considering my breast reduction. I think it would have helped me grapple with my sometimes complicated feelings about the procedure.

I was so physically relieved, and a world of activity that I had not been able to participate in before opened up to me---running, dancing, wearing pretty bras. But I also had some guilt and shame as a budding feminist---I didn't want to admit that other people's insensitive comments were a factor in my decision, but I was *also* tremendously relieved when I could feel more "normal," when people stopped feeling so free to comment about my breasts or make a joke about them, as if they were not even attached to or related to the rest of me. It took quite a while for me to realize--as people have pointed out here---that it was not my breasts, or my inability to take a joke, but those people were the problem, even if they were very loving to me in other ways.

The initial recovery was also a bit shocking to me---it was painful, and at first things looked pretty awful--many stitches, swelling, etc. I had a slight sense of horror that I had been complicit in violence against my own body, and I wrestled with that as I healed. (That struggle was absolutely worth it. I feel I have stepped into my own body and own it in a way I didn't before.)

A sensitive doctor can make a huge difference. If possible, get a recommendation from a friend. I LOVED my doctor, and appreciated him all the more when his asshole intern asked stupid questions like, "Why on earth did you wait so long to get this done?" (I was 20.) Some of the logistics of the surgery can feel dehumanizing---like dotted lines being drawn on you with a Sharpie so that you look like one of those butcher's charts---and a doctor with a sense of humor and compassion can guide you through that.

My doctor also wrote a letter to the insurance
company to convince them of medical necessity---surprise, surprise, an 8 hour surgery and 2 day hospital stay wasn't just for kicks!

Anyway, good luck. All of these supportive, thoughtful responses make me think there really SHOULD be a good book about this!

Liv, thank you so much for writing about your situation. At this point other people's opinions and issues about appearance (and even the prospect of extensive post-surgical scarring) aren't an issue for me because I feel so limited by my breast size.

I'm 5'2", weigh 180 and I am a 34 JJ. The constant pain, the discomfort, the disgust and embarrassment, the lack of clothing choices... I'm sure I don't need to explain all the negatives. No amount of Hollywood silicone compares to 5 lbs of breast tissue hanging from your chest, clavicle and neck as you try to work, walk, sleep, etc.

Because I'm still in the process of getting the surgery approved by my HMO, I can't guide you to success but I have some suggestions for books that have been very informative. "When Less is More" by Bethanie Snodgrass MD (2005, isbn 0-06-075874-0) is the best one about breast reduction I've ever found. I've found others about plastic surgery that mention reduction through amazon.com and obtained them through interlibrary loan: "breast reduction and breast lifts" by Polynice and Smith copyright 2006, "cosmetic breast surgery" by Freund copyright 2004, "survival guide to cosmetic surgery" by Anthony Labruna. The latter are slim volumes or just have a few pages on breast reduction info.

Read as much as you can, take notes, research questions and find a primary care doctor that understands your problems, start seeing her and establish a precedent for pain, discomfort, etc. Call your insurance and ask what they require for a breast reduction. It might be weight loss (ha!), orthopedic consults... Think about the surgery, there will be scars and it will interfere with breast feeding in the future. Weigh your options, think about your future, take your time and good luck.

Thank you so much for writing! Let us know how it goes for you.

Oh, and one other thing, try the enell bra, hideous halter that it is. It's like a vest full of hooks up the front but it is easier to put on than the frog bra which is a one piece. www.enell.com. The frog bra is available through the titleix catalog for women's athletic clothing. I no longer fit into the enell sizes but they do custom work.

Good luck!

Wow, what a terrible thing to say. I can relate quite a bit.

I am 27 (28 in Feb,ugh) and was diagnosed with Breast Cancer when I was 25.
From then on, it's been a struggle with women MY OWN AGE!!!

I've had such nasty remarks said to me..
Anyway,this tale is meant for a post all it's own.

I am so sorry you had to deal with such ignorance. It's alive and kicking in all areas of the world.

Thanks for writing. I definitely struggled with similar issues when I was deciding whether or not to have a reduction a year and a half ago. Ultimately I went for it (and I'm so glad I did - I have more mobility, less back pain, clothes actually fit me) and I remember being so infuriated that my surgeon had to send naked pictures to my insurance company as part of the application. Never mind the physician's notes, never mind the documented rounds of PT for back problems... apparently a visual aid was still necessary.

good luck in your decision!

nieds, holy crap! Seriously?!

How F*cked up is that, jeez. Had to send pictures of your breasts to the insurance company.

Breastfeeding may be healthy, and yet, women who remain childless aren't exactly going out of their way to attempt breastfeed their friends' children in order to 'protect' themselves from breast cancer and other diseases. The benefits may be there, but considering that they'll only be available IF you choose to have children it may not even be relevant. And evenso, eating too much red meat increases the risk of breast cancer while being on the pill decreases it somewhat. Seriously, so many (oodles, really) things do something about the risk of different diseases, and most of those adjustments are so minor that statistically they really shouldn't carry a lot of weight in an argument.

I'd rather run the minutely increased risk of cancer than spend a lifetime in certain, unavoidable pain. When comparing a slight possibility with an unavoidable certainty, I know what ought to take precedence. And we also ought to remind ourselves not to assume that women will want children, and that they'll want to breastfeed, or that they'll even be able to breastfeed at all (even without the surgery). I have quite a few friends who were not able to breastfeed their children, it was torture and the baby drew more blood than milk and yet they were bullied into breastfeeding "because it's so healthy". They psyche's were ruined and their babies risked stunted growth because their milk was too little and not nutritious enough.

Breastfeeding is not the be-all and end-all of motherhood nor of health.

All that aside, I'm a 32F and I hate it. Being hailed "Ohhh sexy ladyyyy" at the age of 11 or 12 is so far beyond creepy it still haunts me to this day. Not being able to wear normal cheap clothes is a sucker when you can't actually afford the clothes that fit you - including bras. Constant back pains, yeah, I know the drill. I have no sensation at all in large areas of skin between the tops of my breasts and my shoulders. Whether it's because of bra straps or too much weight hanging in the skin, damaging it - or both, I don't know. A lot of time the numbness extends to my nipples. And let's not get into the department of physical activity which I've come to hate and avoid because of people's stares and men's comments. Even walking is best done in big jackets and sweaters - even in summer.

Yes, I hate my body. Not because my body itself is a bad thing, but because it looks in a way that me, the person, is completely erased and ignored in too many situations for me to count. Because of my noticable attributes I am no longer a person - I am my body. Nevermind that on the inside I'm so much more than that, no one actually sees that because they're busy going all "Whoah" over the boobs I attempt to hide under clothing that will never be acceptable in the kind of jobs I'm applying for.

I, too, am considering breast reduction, but I'm deathly scared of going under the knife for any reason. The very concept feels wrong for me, but at the same time I look at it rationally and consider it necessary, but due to my insecurity and discomfort with surgery what is so obviousl necessary will never happened. I've considered surgery for 10 years now - since I was 14 - and I'm not closer to going for it even though thinking about my breast problems make me cry every time.

With the kind of problems you mention you need to think of your actual problems and not about the possible (but by no means certain) future issues with breastfeeding and such. If breast issues cause intimacy issues children will hardly be a concern anyway.

I hope you find the strength and clarity to make the decision that's right for you.

*hugs*