Could you maybe give us a little more information on what it is? I seem to recall doing something like this in high school but being the old lady I am (not really but it's fun to say), I don't remember much about it.

I totally filled out these surveys in high school! You're right, they are pretty hetero-centric and also a little awkward, I think.

geeze, i remember those. i always ended up getting "matched" with my guy friends. some years a few of us tried to 'mess' with it by entering the other gender for ourselves. Then I ended up getting my female friends. I guess it did explain who was similar to me which, honestly, in high school was the basis for friendship.

yeah, they're all super heteronormative.

stupid high school.

Classic high school. I remember getting accidentally matched with a girl one year and everyone thought it was hilarious...because of course, in my rural school, LGBT people "don't exist". However, getting rid of childish quizzes wouldn't help. Reforming sex ed to actually, you know, TEACH students about life, would.

I've never heard of that kind of thing being done officially, by the high school-- it seems like the kind of thing my high school would have tried to discourage.

I stopped filling out these surveys in 11th grade. Of course, I had to get a note to do so. I had no interest in dating and at the time I considered the attempt to force me into a match-making service was sexual harassment. Plus it pissed me off that they would sell the answers back to the student body for $2.00 each. I couldn't stand the thought of them making money off my answers.

What I hate about it is the terrible 'cutesy' spelling they use on the forms... We did this on Friday or something and I didn't even take one. The questions are also really stupid, like "Who is your favorite celebrity" and then it lists Jessica Alba, Perez Hilton, etc. No one at my school takes them seriously, but people still fill them out for some reason.

You know, it is super heterosexual, and that's stupid and bad, but... my objection really is to the fact that it's sexual in the first place and that it's required.

What if you just aren't interested in sex? What if you're already in a monogamous relationship? What if the person you get matched to believes (as they've been encouraged to believe) that you are interested in them sexually and is angry when you say that you aren't?

Nobody should coerce anybody, no matter what their orientation or age, to join a match-making service. Period. This really is sexual harassment.

What! When did high school become a dating service? If I had a child attending a school where this was done I would be tres pissed. Why is valuable instruction time being wasted on something like this?

What's that? I've never heard of these, can you give us more info here? Like maybe the five W:

1) Who runs these?

a) the school authorities?
b) a student society with approval from school authorities?
c) a student society with tolerance from school authorities?
d) a student society on the sly?
e) Some other crowd?

2) Who takes these?

a) Is it mandatory (if i1a)? Is there a way to opt out of it, maybe like you opt out of religious studies in a catholic school if you're muslim? You know, with a letter from your parents/guardians?
b) Which years are involved?
c) how widespread is it? Do all high schools do it, or is it just some?

3) Why?

Especially if it's 1a). what is the thinking behind this? What's the purpose of this according to the people running it?

4) Where do they get filled in?

a) Do you take them home and think about it, polish them off right in class/during the break (depending on answet to 1)?
b) Where do they get stored and who does the sorting for the 'matches' (teacher, administrative staff, specially organised student committee, extant student committee)?
c) Can other students see your answers at any time during the whole deal? What about your parents/guardians? What about other people in general (eg, staff other than whoever might have it as a job to deal with the surveys)?
d) where are the empty forms kept? Somebody up thread mentioned she used to pick up extra forms and make up imaginary students, is that easy to do/commonly done? If you are caught, are there penalties (stick to administrative, please, 'being looked at funny' is not a penalty)

5) What?

It would be useful to see one or two examples of this, or if that's not possible, some of the questions, to be better able to judge the tone of the Whole Thing.

6) When?

History. When did they start? Did your mum/dad do these? Did your grandparents? Whie we're at it, what did they think of them?

At this stage, other people in this thread seem to be familiar with this, but I can't comment because I frankly don't know what the hell you're talking about :-) Give us this info, then, and I'll get back to you ;-)

The ones we did in high school would match you with guys for 'dating' and with girls for potential 'friends'. That is still ridiculously hetero-normative, but at least if you stretch it a bit, you could assume that the girls on your friends list could be your same-sex matches (and visa-versa for the guys). The thing I hated about them though, is they turned out to be a golden opportunity for 'cool' kids to make fun of the 'loser/ugly/fat' kids they got matched with. There is nothing worse than hearing someone say "Eww I got matched with (your name or the name of your friend)" Since almost everyone knew everyone else in their grade at my school, no one really took the surveys seriously. If you got matched with someone you liked, then you already knew you liked them and you just laughed about getting matched with people you didn't like.

Our school administration wasn't really the ones responsible for the surveys though. In our school our student council came up with the idea for Valentine's Day as a fundraiser (there are companies you buy the surveys from and then you send back the surveys and they send you the results). So we charged the $2 for people to get their results, to raise money (I'm not sure if it was for charity or just for school activities). The school admin did approve them though.

I don't recall the Matchmaker surveys being mandatory. Are you sure they are? That seems incredibly stupid on the school's part.

Technically they match you up with same-sex friends, but you're right that it is basically heteronormative and obnoxious.

I remember these! The way it worked at my school was that it matched you with five compatible guys (romance) and five compatible girls (friendship) for your grade and then a seperate list for all grades. There was also a least compatible list for the above categories. So yes, it was heteronormative. But the quiz questions were more goofy than anything else. It was run by the student council at my school also, as a fundraiser type thing, and we also had to pay for the match lists. No one was forced to participate, the quiz sheet was made available at a flex meeting (my schools version of homeroom, which only occurred like once a month). Most people chose to take part. It didn't take up class time. I thought it was a fun thing, but I think they should just list compatible girls and guys - they shouldn't put the stupid romance and friendship labels with it.

I remember that there was some class in my high school that did something like this as a project. I never took the class but I did the survey for a friend and got matched with some guy I couldn't stand. This was before LGBT was on my radar, so I didn't think about the heteronormativity nor do I remember if there was an option to choose which gender you wanted to be matched with.

I remember those in highschool. Almost all my friends opted to do them - as well as the rest of the school. I remember that what really bugged me about them was that the questions had nothing to do with anything that I thought was important. And asked a lot of stuff that I couldn't really relate to (I didn't have TV, so pop culture questions were slightly lost on me).

...And well, it was the "cool" thing to do, and I was doing my best to opt out of as much of that stuff as possible.

Aw damn, I remember these. I was pretty clueless about my sexual orientation in high school (I thought I just didn't like anyone) so I didn't pay attention to the heteronormative aspect of the quizzes. Looking back, it leaps out at me. Some people have mentioned that at least there is a same-sex "friends" list on the quiz, but that really isn't helpful if you're a LGBT student actually looking for a date. You'll just be paired up with a bunch of straight people. Yay!

I remember doing this at my high school. I don't recall whether it was mandatory, but I definitely participated. I'm sure it was some sort of fundraiser.

What I do remember is that it was more hurtful than fun. Inevitably, some "loser" would be matched with someone "popular" and the ensuing mockery was painful and embarrassing.

Organizations at my school also did candygrams and flower deliveries the week of Valentine's Day with similarly sexist and divisive outcomes. Only the boys were offered the sign-up for flowers, i.e. women are easily wooed with gifts, and V-day is for hetero couples. The most popular girls and boys always received the most gifts which were delivered publicly during homeroom. Again, gifts from the wrong crowd were received with derision and laughter.

Just one more thing I'm not missing about high school.

We've been getting these since my freshman year and I seriously HATE them. I have never turned one in (I've filled out one every year with bullshit answers--it's really fun) and I find them so heterosexist. But no one in my high school dares to question why we do them because, you know, everyone's straight?

Several people have mentioned this, and I completely agree, that it is a perfect way for 'popular' people to make fun of the 'losers' they were matched with. Administrators should recognize this, so why do we still do it? Apparently it's fun.

Ugh. These really bug me.