Topic of Discussion: The Value of Men

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My co-blogger received the following statement from an acquaintance, which initially upset both of us (mostly for the illogic that the person apparently lives his life with). However, from this frustration came great joy after we sent it to one of our loyal readers – who sent a lengthy response. I wanted to share it here, with the Feministing Community, as a reminder to all those who might have had a run in with a particularly offensive individual recently.

Both writers are men, both were raised in predominately Christian homes, both identify as republicans, and yet they clearly see gender and women through distinctly different lenses. While the responder’s responses aren’t all something I would necessarily encourage (particularly the discussion of how special/superior vaginas are), I would be inclined to chalk it up to humor over anything else. I hope you all appreciate the following as much as I did:

Original Text in Italics, Reponses are in Bold

This guy is retarded. Here's why:

"When women mock the restraint/values/importance that civil men display towards the fairer sex, it hastens women's demise.

Demise?

Women haven't ascended to "equality" autonomously, and neither is their equality and influence maintained in such a way.

Equality maintained? Women are equal (except for in penis having. Vastly superior in vagina having)

The virtue and value placed on women, for whatever reason, should be appreciated for it's influence on men's mindsets towards women instead of mocking it.

The virtue and value placed on people, for whatever reason, should be appreciated for its influence on people's mindsets towards other people instead of mocking it. What people mock is the idea that somehow you can be a dick towards men and chivalrous towards women and be a "good" person. That's a bastardization of any "code of chivalry" that ever existed by the way.

Sadly it is far from similar is MANY other cultures, Taliban like stadium punishing could be the norm.

Really? It could? It could just be the norm? Because those cultures don't treat men that well either. They also avoid reading. Earning interests on your deposits. There's just a lot of stuff in between here and the Taliban stoning rape victims.

Most boys somehow relate young girls to the kind, unique and gentle treatment identified with their mothers,

And some say their moms made them rapists.

And because of this cherish and or respect them into adulthood, and this is not something to toy with.

Unique treatment? Really? I like my mom. Love her. Respect her. I am also in love with [my girlfriend]. [Is she] like my mom? No. Most men look for a woman that will take care of them like mom. Maybe that's what this guy means.

When women attempt to unburden themselves of the values and perceptions placed on them and try to be the sexually aggressive equals of males the previously mentioned esteem evaporates rather quickly.

So if a chick likes sex then because I love mommy I won't like her because mom doesn't like sex? Is this the oedipal complex? It doesn't matter. This ass actually writes about women unburdening themselves of perceptions placed on them. And how that affects men. Do people not read over what they write before they hit send? This is dumber than suggesting we could end up killing women in stadiums. Could. Could be. Could be the NORM.

Simply apply this line of reasoning to a woman being quick to have (auction) sex like a man and you will see a man who feigns respect before hand, but not afterward.

Auction? This is about Natalie Dylan? Really? Being quick to have sex and auctioning your virginity are...somehow...connected? Men don't feign respect beforehand, btw. They feign interest. Interest in more than the sex. And sometimes women aren't looking for "respect." They are looking for sex. Men should respect women, but women leaning on men for their self-esteem is as dumb as men leaning on some sort of sick "mother-like" perception of young women for their self-esteem. Which is, again, dumb because people shouldn't rely strictly on other people for their self-esteem.

Best not then to chip away at the value men hold for virginity.

Men hold a value for virginity? Because our mothers were virgins? Or because we don't think of our mothers having sex so it is easier to interact with women who have not had sex? Jesus.

All the while indirectly making the case to men that women really aren't all that special.

Well I dunno if "women" can be "special" as a group since they are over half the world's population. But then again, there's only two types. You can have cake or pie. Cake and pie are therefore, both special. And let's not forget their vastly superior vagina having. This "special" thing is funny. When I was in HS and hung out only guys. Guys who also didn't have chicks. Girls were "special" because they were us and if there was a girl involved in something it was different. But that's when I'm a nerdy 16 year old. I moved on.

That its all because of some macho-foolish concept of masculinity that a fresh hymen has top value.

Foolish. Yes. So why bring it up?

Women will not find themselves in a good place on the day when good men stop stepping forward for the cause of women out of the idea that they don't deserve it.

Women will not find themselves in a good place on the day when good men step forward and advocate that women should act like our moms or something and be virgins so that we feel good about ourselves.

Posted by Leela - January 29, 2009, at 08:38AM | in Theory