This is a complicated subject, and I don't want to oversimplify it, but while pundits, parents and politicians fret over dubious reports that claim girls are going much "wilder" now than ever before, reality tells a different story.
While some may find comfort in the realization that teens are not having more sex now than before (Jessica Velenti points out that people are really concerned only with the sex rate for teenage girls) and almost all can applaud the decrease in abortion rates, people on both sides of the aisle should be rightly concerned that teenage girls are choosing to have babies because they feel that is their only way to be fulfilled in life.
I think this is interesting because it illustrates how a generally positive shift in mores that affect women (in this case the destigmatization of single-motherhood and non-traditional families in general) can subsequently limit women by letting them reach for the lowest expectations possible.
I've had close friends attempt to become pregnant in high school. Back then, I couldn't understand why. But in retrospect, I realized the limited options they were able to see as realistic for themselves. Having a child, especially a son, was a way for them to validate their own lives because deep down they believed they had no intrinsic worth.
These were the same girls who spent all their time thinking/talking about boys and centered their entire existence around them. Nothing made them feel better than having a male, whether it was a random guy on the street or someone they were sleeping with, compliment them on their looks or potential as a girlfriend.
Most of these girls dated men/boys who were unstable (and often promiscuous) and so, the attention given to them was often inconsistent at best. Needless to say, it wasn't unusual for them to end up in abusive and co-dependent relationships. But like most human beings with brains and heart, they wanted something they could truly affect; something to call their own and to create to their liking.
And since babies are the ultimate icons of blank slates and the mother-infant bond is romanticized as the ultimate fulfillment, it isn't so hard to see why young women from dysfunctional and/or low-income backgrounds (not to mention girls from religious groups that fetishize domestic motherhood) would attempt to become pregnant at a time when everyone is dreaming up their futures and they may be unable to compete in the college race.
As a future social worker/therapist/feminist activist who wants to focus on adolescent girls from lower-income backgrounds, this is one issue that interests me very much. What are the best ways, on a personal, political and cultural level to combat the limiting factors (both tangible and psychological) that lead so many young women to have children when they haven't had a chance to become adults yet themselves?
Cross-posted on my blog, Dancingbackwards.com
0 TrackBacks
Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry: Why Young Girls Choose to Have Babies.
TrackBack URL for this entry: http://www.feministing.com/cgi-bin/movabletype/mt-tb.fcgi/11692
I taught math at the alternative high school for a year, and I gave this topic a lot of thought. At the alternative school, many of the girls have already had a baby, many of them are in dysfunctional families, and most of them see limited options when they look at their future, so this was a frequent dicussion topic among the girls in my classes.
I think that to them the idea of having a baby seemed like a way to break with their old life and all its problems and start something new. I think they did view motherhood as something that would be uniquely fulfilling, as you suggest, but mostly I think their interest in babies was rooted in their perception of how limited their options were. I used to talk with them a lot, because I was one of those teachers who would talk fairly honestly with them about things like sex and drugs, so they were really open to discussions with me. I told them that I thought the most important thing you can do for yourself when you're young is to keep your options open, because you can't predict now what you might want to try/learn/do/be later in life. This seemed kind of puzzling to them - like they couldn't imagine themselves doing anything other than working an unstable, low-paying job and living in the same trailer park that their family had always lived in. It was depressing to me that it was so hard to shake this mentality, and it drove the point home that having the luxury of imagining your life as being any different than it is today is a feature of the (relatively) privileged world I came from.
If this interests you, you need to read _Promises I can Keep_. The authors interviewed single mothers in a variety of low income neighborhoods in Philly. A key point to keep in mind when discussing young motherhood in low income areas is that college and a career are not necessarily options for them. Young motherhood doesn't cut off as many paths for low income women as it does for middle and upper income women b/c many of those paths are not available even to childless, low income women. If you lose nothing by having a kid early, why not have it early? In this light, it makes most sense to shift the question from how to convince teenagers to put off motherhood to how to revitalize economically depressed areas to provide living wage jobs for both men and women.
Actually, I'm starting to question why it is so necessary to delay motherhood. If jobs that don't require a 4 yr college degree paid a living wage, then it would be a much smaller deal if college were inaccessible (due to child rearing duties). If a decent income is assured, why not have the kid? Most mothers feel very fulfilled by their kids and even say that their life didn't truly begin until they had one. Kids aren't for everyone, but if someone wants a kid and society provides the wherewithal to support it, then I say go for it.
"if someone wants a kid and society provides the wherewithal to support it, then I say go for it."
Unfortunately, it frequently doesn't provide that.
I'm writing from Prague, Czech Republic, and here every woman gets three years of government assistance after having a child. health care costs about 40 dollars a month for full coverage (deductibles and co pays don't exist), and school is free through a masters. Now that's a lot of government assistance. And it's great. With that being said I think the money for having a baby can unfortunately be an economic appeal to many young women who don't see many options for their life. This early appeal can soon turn into a hardship and assured life of poverty. If you're a 15 year old drop out, you've basically got no chance of getting a decent job, so the logical option is to have a child, and have the state support you for three years (Note, this is not welfare, every woman receives this if they wish). However once those three years are up. You're out of luck. You may get government housing in a ghetto outside of town but (trust me) these are not places anyone would want to live, let alone raise a child. I think instead of encouraging young women in poverty to have babies (since the state supports it), people should instead encourage them to go to school, get an education, and try to end the cycle of poverty. The other big elephant in the room is race, and no one really wants to breach the subject. Here in czech the minority group are the Romani (gypsies) and according to their own statistics they have on average 6 children compared to around 2 for the rest of the population. Of course there are knee jerk reactions and claims "they have too many babies"! but in all the mess and self righteousness I think people are forgetting an important point, and that by having a child so young, and continuing to have 5 or 6 more through their thirties, they are ensuring that they will forever live in poverty and be dependent upon the state. If one wants to teach women to become independent I would imagine that part of the empowerment process would also show them that having a baby you can provide for is more empowering than sitting around in fear that any day the government may cut off all your funding.
There is an interesting book I read in a course called education and poverty called, Don’t Call Us Out of Name: The Untold Lives of Women and Girls in Poor America. One of the girls interviewed in the book said of her teachers, “They don’t notice us till we get pregnant.” Through interviews and focus groups, the author, Lisa Dodson, learns that many of the young women decide to have babies because motherhood is the only or one of the few valued roles for women in their communities. Some young women discuss their role as the main childcare provider for their families and how they figure, if they are taking care of a bunch of children anyway, why not have one of their own.
This is some of what I remember from reading the book several years ago. I recommend it.
OHHH you HAVE to read Promises I Can Keep found here http://www.amazon.com/Promises-Can-Keep-Motherhood-Marriage/dp/0520241134
That book changed my entire perspective on teen motherhood, esp among low SES, and/or Brown, and/or Black communities. Seriously the best book I read in college.
My husband taught in CA's only all-girl charter for a year. The school was attached to a facility that for years has provided a place to live and parental education for unwed (don't you love that one) young mothers and their children. The facility also has a lock-down component for young women who have children and found themselves on the wrong end of the law.
Most of the young women had overly romantic ideas not just about motherhood but about the fathers of their children. More often than not these men were quite a bit older than these girls (my continual question was "Why aren't these guys being charged with statutory rape?") and had fathered children with other women. More often than not they were gang members and/or incarcerated. This didn't stop the young women from believing them when they would say, "Please don't kill my baby. I'll take care of you." When M. (my husband) would ask them "What will happen if he won't or can't take care of you and the baby?" They would get angry - I'm sure just a reaction to the fear of that situation. M would ask this question in order to promote attention and achievement in school as a means to independence which many of them seemed to not even consider - being independent that is. There was also the attitude that once you've had sex and gotten pregnant then you're an adult and therefore don't need to be told/listen to anything anymore. One sort of funny thing was many of them saw this as a way to become a grandmother and still be "hot"!
One problem that arose was due to the fact that so many of the young women were or going to be mothers and the school was working not to stigmatize them over it that the young women who weren't pregnant/mothers started seriously considering it as an option.
I think too there is something in the need for love area as well. So many of these young women had lived through things that demeaned them so (like the young girl who was gang raped at 13 because her older brother couldn't pay his gambling debt)that the lure of a baby that will love them no matter must be very strong. Hmm it just occurred to me too that being a mother might somehow afford them, at least in their minds, some sort of protection. Very complex issue.
Thanks so much for the comments and the book suggestions! I will definitely be looking into those books soon.