18 Clues He's Still Crazy About You
This was on my MSN page this morning - "Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc" who publish Good Housekeeping. Made me so mad I don't know what to say so I thought I'd give everybody here a crack at it.
We are moving forward aren't we?
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Typical complete lack of agency on either side.
*He doesn't even try figuring out what you want for your birthday???*
Why, cause dudes always fail?? Give a guy a BREAK!!
The whole thing is rife with worse-than-normal sexist stereotypes.
"Men are stupid and bad at feelings, but at least he's trying in his cute, oafish way"
"Women are obsessed with cleanliness and feelings and know nothing about sports. She's SO glad her dude forgives her little oopsies!"
Makes me sick.
Yeah, pretty much what you said. 10 overworked hack sitcom writers couldn't spout bigger gender cliches that this.
Which is a shame because it might be nice to have some talk about the ways people show they care about each other, especially since there seems to be so much stuff aimed at women meant to induce uncertainty in them- he's not that into you(if he's not stalking you), Cosmo articles on signs your man is not really committed/thinking of cheating/about to break up, etc.
4. Oh noes! I couldn't bear to filthy my delicate hands!
6. Zomg I'm such a girl driver teehee silly me I just can't help getting into crashes! (And what's he supposed to say other than are you ok? "I knew I shouldn't have let mah woman drive"?)
16. Hey honey, we couldn't possibly like any of the same movies because I have a girl brain and you have a boy brain, so instead of finding something we both like let's go see He's Just Not That Into You for the 3423498347th time because OMG favourite movie EVER OMG!!!! THEIR lives revolve around men, and MY life revolves around men! Yayyyyy!
2, 11. What are these "sports" things you menfolk like? I don't understand...is it like....how shopping and reading Cosmo is for us girls?
I think the point is that if a man shows more concern for a person than for an expensive car, he must be CRRRRRAZY about her.
Every single bullet is so ripe for satire...my brain is exploding just thinking about it ;)
1. When you wear a T-shirt, boxers, and socks to bed, somehow he still thinks you're cute.
Because it is ever so hard for men to think a woman looks good in anything but a miniskirt, half-cup bra, and stripper boots.
2. He doesn't laugh when you pronounce former hockey star Mark Messier's name as "Mark Messy-er."
Because all men love hockey, and no women like hockey.
3. The only framed photo on his bureau is of you at age ten — with short bangs, cat glasses, and metal braces. (If he kept it in his wallet, you would have to kill him.)
I don't even get this one. Am I dating a pedo?
4. He automatically smooshes all spiders for you.
I would prefer he didn't kill spiders, spiders eat bugs. Of course if it's poisonous, I'd be able to get a cup and put it outside.
5. He tried — unsuccessfully, but he tried — to clean the rust ring his shaving-cream can left on the sink.
Because men are born without the ability to clean.
6. After you rear-ended that Lexus in the parking lot, his very first words were "Are you OK?"
Because men just care more about cars than women, and if yours cares more about you than cars, consider yourself lucky.
7. At this point, his wedding band is so tight, it makes his finger look swollen — but he swears he'd feel naked without it.
I wouldn't mind this one. I mean, if it is hurting him I'd rather he took it off, though.
8. He doesn't try to guess what you want for your birthday — he asks your best friend.
Because no matter how much he loves you, he can't possibly know anything about you.
9. He's incapable of putting dishes into the dishwasher but has learned to stack them in the sink.
Again... men cannot clean or do housework. They can build atomic bombs, but housework is just baffling. And thanks for putting my chore in one place instead of scattering it about the house...that's SO SWEET OF YOU.
10. He understands which old boyfriends are fair game and which aren't.
Translation please? I don't know what this means.
11. He doesn't "whoop!" while watching the Super Bowl anymore. OK, he does, but he's definitely cut back the whooping by about 20 percent.
All men watch the Super Bowl and get so super excited by it. No women do. Facts of life people, facts of life.
12. He'll pick up a box of tampons at the drugstore without wincing.
OMG YOU HAVE A KEEPER. Only if a man truly loves you can he not be grossed out by tampons.
13. Though you've had several kids together, he's never once announced, "We're pregnant!"
I can't think of what to say. Isn't it a given men can be expecting, but not pregnant?
14. He wears that "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" sweatshirt you bought him during a weak moment — sometimes even in public.
Because women can't help but buy their men tacky clothes, one of our oldest flaws!
15. He's careful never to deal with nose hairs in your presence.
I've wanted to pluck my boyfriend's nose hairs. 'nuff said.
16. When you drag him to sentimental movies, he doesn't sit there and snicker. (He may fall asleep, but he won't snicker.)
All women love to drag their boyfriends to sentimental movies and all men hate when this happens! What a trooper for agreeing to sleep in the movie theater while you watch the movie!
17. He doesn't comment on your new haircut unless you ask him to. And then he lies.
Because he will never like your hair cut, and would rather lie and have you look stupid than be honest. Oh, and all women hate being given advice on how to look.
18. He may forget to give you a card for Valentine's Day, but at least he understands this is a criminal offense. And he's prepared to pay the price.
Because Valentine's day is the most crucial day of the year, and it's so easy to forget to buy a card, and all women get super pissed off and turn into the Hulk when their 'lover' forgets to buy a card just because the calendar companies marked February 14th as a day that this must be done.
I think I've made my point.
10. As in, he can laugh about how Johnny was "omg so ugly how did you date him" and you laugh because it's true, but he never mentions Tom because he was your super-serious boyfriend who you might go back to if your current bf makes fun of him. Right.
15. Let alone nose hairs, I used to wipe gunk off my ex-bf's fake eye when I felt the need. TMI?
10. Okay, thanks. I get it now.
15. Not TMI. I do grosser things with my boyfriend. I consider it to be loving, like how other primates groom each other. Shit, go past the nose hairs, I've picked his boogers.
"6. After you rear-ended that Lexus in the parking lot, his very first words were "Are you OK?"
Because men just care more about cars than women, and if yours cares more about you than cars, consider yourself lucky."
You forgot the obvious- women are terrible drivers! In my opinion, she should dump this guy- his first words should have been, "Why would you think it is a good idea to leave your place at the dishwasher and drive?!". Of course, if this woman thinks that she's strong enough to open the car door without her boyfriend's help, she clearly is in need of psychiatric assistance.
Good mocking, Lilith Luffles, so much of that article is just nauseating.
I mean, what is wrong with whooping at the Super Bowl? I whoop when the Cubs actually win. Why would woman care about whooping?
And I think it's just tacky making rude comments about anyone's ex. And I haven't told any of my boyfriends much information about my exes. 'Cause, why would you?
And my ex who would only stack dishes in the sink instead of putting them in the dishwasher? He's an ex for the very reason of expecting me to be his mother and not his partner. If this article writer had told me it was a sign he was crazy about me, I probably would have broken a dish.
17. He doesn't comment on your new haircut because he doesn't notice it. (And he secretly wishes you had the same haircut you do in that photo of you at 10.)
HI-larious.
Switch the genders and you get a whole new f-ed up story.
7. She tried — unsuccessfully, but she tried — to clean the rust ring her shaving-cream can left on the sink.
13. Though you've had several kids together, she's never once announced, "We're pregnant!"
10. She understands which old boyfriends are fair game and which aren't.
16. When you drag her to sentimental movies, she doesn't sit there and snicker. (She may fall asleep, but she won't snicker.)
*piggybacking on your comment*
"He doesn't laugh when you pronounce former hockey star Mark Messier's name as "Mark Messy-er.""
Also: Women are delicate flowers who cannot stand someone they are intimate with laughing at them for a humorous mistake.
"11. He doesn't "whoop!" while watching the Super Bowl anymore. OK, he does, but he's definitely cut back the whooping by about 20 percent."
Women are incapable of leaving the house for three hours if they don't like hearing people yell--and can't stand hearing people yell, either.
"15. He's careful never to deal with nose hairs in your presence."
Women can't stand the idea of being with an aging mammal.
OMG YOU HAVE A KEEPER.
HA! At first, I thought you meant a keeper.
according to that list my husband probably hates me. he doesn't do a single thing on that list.
I know, right? I should consider finding a new man, because the one I have right now will probably only grow to hate me more. Best to avoid the legal complications.
8. He doesn't try to guess what you want for your birthday — he asks your best friend.
I wonder how my spouse does that, since he is my best friend.
don't you KNOW anything? people only get married to f***-- you really think men and women could be compatible at an emotional or intellectual level??
At this point, his wedding band is so tight, it makes his finger look swollen — but he swears he'd feel naked without it.
How about, when the wedding band is so tight on the WOMAN'S finger it looks swollen, but he still thinks she's beautiful as the day he met her??
Oh, my bad. Men can get fat but women better not.
Also, my bf is WAY more into sentimental movies than I am. I hate chick flicks with a violent passion and will take a good old-fashioned zombie movie ANY day of the week. Bf hates horror flicks and has mentioned he'd like to see HJNTIY (vomit). Crap, I guess we need to relinquish our respective gender cards.
Also, some of those, as others have noted, are just plain weird. Why would he have an almost 20-year-old picture of me? *I* don't have framed pictures like that. And the "we're pregnant" thing seems to me to be more a kind of individual couple thing. I wouldn't really care one way or another how my SO told others I was pregnant (assuming I WAS at the time of course). If he wanted to say "we," hey, fine by me, long as he's also willing to give up sushi and alcohol along with me ;)
"1. When you wear a T-shirt, boxers, and socks to bed, somehow he still thinks you're cute."
Because everybody knows that women look like fat, unloveable, butt-ugly bull-dykes when they wear shorts. If your man doesn't dump your miserable ass right then and there, you know you're on to a keeper.
1. Even though you have the gall to sleep comfortably instead of satisfying his stereotyped desire to see you in sleazy lingerie 24/7
6. What the fuck else would he say? Hell, what the fuck would anyone say if I told them I had a car accident?
7. He's too fucking stupid to have his ring resized.
9. Because that's woman's work, anyway!
11. Real women manage to quell their man's personality. He's made of claaaaaaaaay.
16. But I do.
17. So...if it looks great he's going to tell me it's hideous?
18. He doesn't own a fucking calendar?
This was such a crappy way to start the day yesterday, but you've all made it all better. Thanks for the laughs. JodyC
I think the list is kind of cute, though it doesn't really apply unless you're in a June & Ward Cleaver type relationship. I think they could have tried harder to think of a list of 18 things that applied to more types of relationships!
well, I think the comments clearly show, officially, that women can be funny. A whole lot funnier than stupid writers who come up with 18 things about any topic to do with men and women.
I sadly noted that the writer of this piece is a woman - maybe that fueled my upset.
Reasons You Should Think Twice About Him
He insists on driving your car while you ride shotgun. He won't let you read the map or emberass him by asking strangers for directions.
While you are giving birth to his first born son, he is busy buying drinks at the local sports bar.
He wonders how his dirty underwear, which he throws on the floor, always seem to wind up clean in his drawer.
After a hard day at work, he spends the entire evening watching sports. After a hard day at work, you spend the entire evening cooking, cleaning, looking after the children, and massaging his ego.
He thinks buying you roses one day a year makes up for all his bullshit.
19Th reason he's still crazy about you. Vaginal hygiene. Men like a sexy woman with a douche.
*Facepalm* MSN's been on a role with these stupid things lately. Great comments though. Haha.