This was the first New Years that I didn't make the classic resolution to lose 20 pounds or so. This was the first Christmas I didn't cry because my relatives were some of the beautiful people and I was not. This was the first year that I felt smoking even in my sweats. This was the first year I had a positive body image.
It doesn't matter how many times someone tells you how pretty you are, or how its the inside that counts. If you feel like you look shitty, then no amount of compliments will make you feel better in the long run. In the back of your head there is always that nagging fear, that if you were thinner, or tanner, or blonder then life would be easier. Developing a positive body image is all internal and comes from a realization from within.
The turning point came for me this summer. It began because I finally had a partner who thought I was truly beautiful both inside and out (and this coincided with reading Full Frontal Feminism). Even at the time I realized that it was not true body image because it depended upon someone else, but it was the start. In the past six months or so I have come into myself and am proud of my body as long as its healthy and I am not intimated by what others think of it because I like my body. It wonderful. I cant even articulate how lovely it is to have a positive body image. Its so liberating!
As my dear friend and fellow feministing reader, Emily always says, Body Image comes from looking in the mirror and having a "damn girl" moment. Damn girl comes from seeing just how beautiful, sexy and confident you truly are. Its advised that everyone has at least one a day.
My current partner has a negative body image, and i want to jump start his journey to a healthy body image just as mine was kick started last summer because someone thought i was sexy. Body image may start for some people from someone else, but it boils down to saying, "I am done feeling shitty about my body. As long as I am healthy then i don't give a damn, because I am beautiful, sexy, and awesome. So Fuck You people telling me I am too thick, got too much junk in the trunk, too pale, or too curvy." I am happy with who I am, I like the way I look. And that has led to happier and more liberating life.
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CONGRATS! That's amazing!
I want to be able to feel the same way about myself someday soon. You certainly give me hope :)
It's wonderful that you can feel that way. Someday I hope I can have the same realization.
I would like to second your "Damn girl!" and raise you another!
(And seriously. Just try it. No matter what kind of mood I am in, a good "Damn Girl" moment in front of my mirror makes me feel like I can take on the world!)
GOOD FOR YOU.
You are worth it.
Good for you: also good for you for realizing that some men go through the same shit women do about their body. I hope your partner can come to the same place you did.
"Developing a positive body image is all internal and comes from a realization from within."
YES. NOT from conforming til it consumes your life. I'm trying to follow in your footsteps.
True. But vagina does have a common usage referring to the whole of the female genitalia, just as penis refers to a specific part of the male genitalia but also has a common usage referring to the whole. For example, I automatically thought of the inclusion of bedroom furniture the scrotum in Velvet Acid Christ's question about drawing a penis on her or his car.