Maybe they're assuming you want people looking, since you've got such big boobs and are wearing low cut shirts... kind of like if a *ahem* well endowed man wears tight leather pants, so people check out his crotch!

If you don't want people looking at them, don't leave them hanging out.

THIS.

*applause*

This is awesome. My boyfriend used to talk to women's chests. It's the first thing I've learned about him that makes me cringe. He told me he'd like to be able to say he changed for noble reasons, but in face he just didn't want to be "one of those guys" so he grew up. I appreciate that he appreciates my D cups, but he's lucky he didn't stare when we met or I might never have agreed to that first date.

My friend has borderline DD, and all she wears are tshirts. Maybe a V neck. You can't see this woman's collar bone. And you know what? She still gets inappropriate comments ALL THE TIME. She doesn't have to speak to a guy for him to give her his number: at numerous restaurants where she hasn't said anything to the guy except her order, he will think magically that she will want him and gives her his number. And it's all because the only think that they can see are her boobs, regardless of the fact that you can't see skin below her neck. IT'S NOT HER FAULT THAT SHE GETS TREATED THIS WAY. It's society's fault for treating big breasted woman like they are only a giant set of walking boobs. No heart, stomach, pancreas, arms. Just boobs that are so big that they hide whatever legs they walk on. Big breasts on women are an "asset" because society says women can use those breasts to get what they want from men. That they don't need a personality or brain. And that's internalized by MEN, not just women. So that's all men see when they see a big breasted woman: that if he has something she wants, he can have tons of fun with those boobs. It also creates a stigmatism against small breasted woman, because then society says that those aren't worth it.

I say bravo to you Phoebe for challenging the idea that big breasted woman have to be cover at all times. It sucks. It really sucks. But this world needs more big breasted women, in fact all women, to assert the fact that boobs are just for male pleasure. They serve a biological functions. And yes, we have them. Men have them (yes, men, those are nipples on your very own bodies!), but they don't produce milk and grow outward from their bodies in puberty. Take power in your breasts Phoebe! Boob power!!

I wear size 34DD.

ANYBODY who has big boobs knows that it doesn't always matter what you wear, because unless it's a turtle neck, they are going to come out of the top.

Actually, a fucking regular T shirt with no cleavage makes people say things about my boobs. It doesn't even matter what I wear.

So "JJgirl", shame on you for trying to make women feel bad about wearing what they want to wear.

But thanks to everyone for the support! :)

As a man, I am sympathetic and have trained myself not to stare. However, I can't say I'm not a bit jealous of large-breasted or otherwise attractive women. I'm bisexual, and I get hit on by men a thousand times more often than women. Getting checked out can be a huge confidence booster.

I understand that you don't want to be defined by your breasts, and that it must be uncomfortable in professional settings, but I ask a question: have your breasts ever made you feel good about yourself? have they made you feel sexy? I ask this because the average guy goes his entire life without being objectified in this way.

I think as a culture we should objectify women less, but also celebrate the male body more. I've heard comments about how the female figure is more aesthetically pleasing so frequently, and not just from straight people. When gay men repeat this sexist bullshit I can barely control myself.

I feel so bad. Thank you for this post! I have always thought about this in a gendered sexual way. But I never thought about it as far as my friends. Just because I am a woman doesnt mean I have the right to comment on my friends breast! Even if its positive. Who gives a shit, because who wants to hear about how large their breasts are all the time! And I kinda feel bad cause I can't help myself to that first look. After the first look I dont look again. But its like if someone had a scar on their face or something. You gotta look one good time so you can get over it and move on. So if I think a woman has large breasts I just kinda look and get it over with and then im fine. But i guess thats kinda wrong cause im bi...hmm. I dont know. Bottom line, no more comments!

I personally don't mind fleeting glances and tasteful compliments (my particular circle of friends manages to make these kinds of compliments
respectfully). Prolonged staring and disruptive or vulgar comments are a different matter.

I'm a 30 DD and I applaud this.

Especially when people feel the need to come up and ask me if they're real (including bra salespeople on the very rare occasion that I buy bras--I have nervous breakdowns every time because I go through 4 or 5 stores before I even find something in my size, let alone something I like). And when I attest that they are indeed my natural breasts, some people have actually felt the need to grab them and verify this.

In response to Stephanie: I'm actually considering the same thing right now. I want to become a bioterrorism threat analyst for the department of defense or the FBI, and I'm actually scared that these "boys' clubs" aren't going to take me seriously because of what lies about 6 inches below my face.

I definitely sympathize with what big chested women have to go through and I've witnessed it first-hand having 2 good friends that are double D's. But can we also give a shout out to all the women out there with A's or smaller who have to deal with the insensitive jokes about being "flat", not being able to fill out tops because most are made for full-breasted women, and the very clear message that somehow you're less sexy and less womanly if you don't have large breasts?

Alissa said: However, one could use some tact. 'Yes I see them, but maybe I shouldn't comment on them.' That's usually a good place to start.

Yes. How hard is this? Does basic common courtesy just go out the window when it comes to women's bodies? (Why do I ask that? I already know the answer.)

No matter what I wear, you're going to notice that I am (at a D/DD) an amply busted woman, even if you can't see cleavage. Which, unless I'm wearing a high collared shirt/turtleneck (which I typically find uncomfortable because I don't like tops fitting close to my neck/over my collarbone, generally), you might catch a hint of it at some point.

Get over it.

They're mine.

You can look (you're going to anyway, we all take in people's physical attributes), but when you talk to me you need to be making eye contact and there's absolutely no fucking reason for you to make a comment about my tits, ass, or, frankly, any other part of my body.

And that goes for strangers, friends, or relatives. Being in my social circle, being a "sister," doesn't give you any more right to comment on my physical attributes than someone else.

Thank you for posting this.

I think an interesting point that this post touches on but doesn't go deep into is the way that certain female bodies become more acceptable for public commentary and discussion and criticism, and breast size is a huge part of that. Many men and women completely separate large breasts from the body and personality of the woman who has them.

For example, I had a friend who casually mentioned to me and another girl that although she didn't want breast implants, she didn't see anything wrong with it if you got them when you were an adult (her example was an woman who had several children) if you thought it would boost your self esteem. Friend B went on an extended rant about her dislike of plastic surgery, how unnecessary it was, about how people should embrace themselves, and how she thought it was great that Friend A had smaller breasts, even though the original friend had not mentioned that she wanted breast implants. Literally a few weeks later, while changing with the same friends, I told one girl that I loved her bra and how annoying it was that I can't find more cute bras in my size. Without a pause and with a weirdly nasty tone, my vehemently anti plastic surgery friend said "Why don't you just get the reduced if it's such a problem?" None of her previous consideration of the dangers or social implications of surgery, no assumption that I liked my breasts or thought they looked nice beyond being difficult to size. Just a suggestion that I should "just" cut them right off if they didn't fit into some bras, as if surgery was something that wouldn't effect me or my breasts weren't an actual part of my body.

Another very strange example is gay men touching my breasts while commenting how large they are. I've had it happen THREE TIMES at parties. It's always treated as a joke, like since they don't like breasts they're free to just handle them, but I have never seen or heard of this happening to a friend with smaller breasts, or a gay man simply reaching out and grabbing a strange woman's ass "since I've never felt one before!"

Just giving my two cents...

When I was younger, I was not well endowed. But men still looked. A gift of getting a bit older is a bigger bustline. But hold on, I'm just a C, not that big at all.

Here's the deal. Clothes tend not to be made for anyone over a B. Size large is tight on me (an xtra large is weirdly proportioned for me). And I don't think anyone has mentioned current fashion trends. So many seemingly professional looking dresses and blouses are really low cut. I spend a lot of time strategically placing safety pins.

Even in a shirt cut just below the collarbone, I have cleavage. I don't see it as a good or bad thing--it's part of being a woman.

Making a woman feel guilty for her WOMAN PARTS is emblamatic of misogyny--how could it not be?

I'd just like to say that when I was in 8th grade I had a C cup and wore baggy black t-shirts all the time. I still got comment after comment about how big I was. Today I'm in a catholic high-school, have a D cup, and I wear, just like everyone else, the uniform gray polo shirt. Totally covered, and I STILL hear things. I get comments from MY MOM. And it is ANNOYING. I like my boobs and all but Good God. I totally hear you and I loved this post. No matter what, your boobs are going to be there and we've been aware of their existence since we were eight. We don't need other people telling us about parts of our anatomy. Yeah, we get it. They're there, stop treating them like a novelty item or some sort of main attraction, the main attraction is higher (it's the round thing with that opening from which words come out sometimes and the majority of my sensory receptors are located.

While we're on the subject, I wonder about chicks who, like myself, are also endowed in the lower region. I get a lot of comments in that area too, most of the time meant as a joke, but it gets old. Like, really, I get that it sticks out but it's where I shit from, not exactly the most pleasant area of my body and it does not require your comments.

Though really, I'd rather have you just look at me overall and appreciate who I am overall instead of dehumanizing me to the point where I'm just one or one set of specific body parts.

Some of the comments above got me thinking about dress codes and how gendered they are. Most dress codes I've been subjected to, there are several lines about women's clothing, and one or two about acceptable shirts for men. Is that because there is such variation in women's clothing ie. 3/4 sleeves, tank tops, collard shirts, capri pants, et al. or is it more about controlling the uncontrollable lady parts? I can never tell.

Amen, sister. Fuck you, antifeminist tit commenters.

Also, way to reclaim your body and own your sexuality.

This post has been so therapeutic. I am a 40J...yes this actually exists. Actually I think they even make K's..but I have yet to find one. My chest has been the biggest source of body problems..back pains, shoulder indentations, sores, shoulder pains, etc. Not to mention never being able to find a decent bra, or decent clothes. Even when I do get the "compliments" about my chest, I mostly hate my breasts so much that I don't get to enjoy any compliments in that area at all. (And by the way whenever a guy hits on me, that's the only thing they talk about. It's wonderful. I actually told one guy recently that I was thinking of having a breast reduction just to see what he would say. He told me he would never like me if I didn't have big breasts. Real classy guy.)

So yes, I agree with what everyone is saying. It must be hard to be on the other end of the endowed spectrum, however I have given this a lot of thought. You can go braless in public, wear almost any kind of shirt you want, your breasts have a better chance of maintaining their gravity-friendliness, no back pains, possibly less guys oggling you, and the best part is that they don't get in the way. Any kind of exercise/sport is a challenge. There are a lot of things I can't do because I have so much in the way. And trust me there are days when I want to give up. It's exhausting.

When will we be happy with what we've got?

Freakin' wow. I clicked because I was going to leave a simple comment of "Ha!" as I find this post hilarious in its witty brevity and sarcastic but dead-on style. A kudos, that is.

Instead I find what I somehow never suspected - comments full of blame-the-vic mentality. The thing is, I don't think it's a "surprise"...but, really, it shouldn't have to happen. Poor, poor men can't control themselves in the presence of the foul-temptress woman and her too-powerful sexuality. How many sexist tropes do you want me to dish out? I have a cabinet full of them somewhere - I could keep'em coming all day.
Honestly, though, should a woman have to deal with this sort of incessant commenting because she wears a certain fuckin' shirt? How many times d'ya think men hear "Well, my gosh! Isn't your penis large!" other than in porn? It's a double-standard, keep up! That I'm pointing this out and where I'm pointing this out seems ridiculous to me. Being on the opposite side of the breast-spectrum (rather small - but not complaining), I've had my fair-fuckin-share of comments about the apparently lack-luster size of mine with no regard for what I happen to be wearing.

Should she also, then, be subjected to the creeps who take a picture with their camera phone of women's cleavage from above while on crowded buses?

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Umm, don't know if my situation is at all unique, BUT the big-busted women I know all talk about their OWN boobs fairly often.

They're PROUD of them. And of how men like them. Which doesn't mean they deserve dehumanizing comments. But they, in their own turn, are not terribly sensitive towards us totally flat-chested gals.

It seems like such a common meme in our culture now for men AND women to say "real men like curves"... which is just as dehumanizing to skinny people. Another thing I'm really tired of hearing is that "clothes are made for skinny people". Not true, actually! Most models have clothespins in the back during photo shoots to make clothes fit them nicely. Clothes are more made for people with a certain waist to hip ratio, which is closer to average (or, more than what most models have). It's a problem with mass-produced clothes, sure, that they're only going to fit a certain percentage well -but it's not as simple as clothes being made for models...

*Sigh* why are people so competitive/cruel?

I'm so sick of this ridiculous "woe is me and it's all your fault for having big boobs" attitude. I encounter it all the time. Sometimes I feel like my mere presence is an insult to girls with small boobs, and if anything, smaller women talk about big boobs just as much as the large-breasted talk about it themselves. I hear women making passive-aggressive comments about how they "wouldn't want big/gross/saggy/floppy boobs anyway." Or that they're happy to know that they got everything they have in life on their own merit, and not just because of preferential treatment. Talk about insensitive! Just because my breast size fits a socially-constructed ideal does not mean it doesn't hurt to hear comments about how disgusting my chest is, even if I know the person making such comments is just lashing out. And my big boobs did not "get" me anything more than what your small ones did for you. No one is competing with you! It's not cruel for a large-busted woman to talk about her boobs and being proud of your own breasts should not be offensive to other people.

I used to be a 36DDD prior to a breast reduction surgery. I had been considering this surgery for years but was never really serious until I learned that people used to refer to me as "big boobs jac" and such. I mean, I put up with the comments from guys and girls, strangers and friends, for years. And I put up with never finding clothes that fit properly and I gave up wearing dresses all together, not to mention gave up running. But when I found out that not only was I having to put up with all this to my face, but that I had these demeaning nicknames from guy friends, I had had enough. I felt I had literally been reduced to nothing but my breasts and I was not ok with that. I remember talking to my parents about it, and my mom crying and saying, "I want people to think about your smile when they think about you, not your boobs." So yea, I had a reduction 3 years ago and it was the best decision I ever made. I became even more aware of how much people had been looking at my boobs after I had the surgery, because for the first time I suddenly noticed people actually looking me in the eyes and at my face and it felt good. I never realized how bad it even was until I didn't have to put up with it anymore.

Nobody should ever have to put up with rude comments about their breasts (or any other aspect of their body), and nobody (especially women!) should judge another woman for showing her breasts; when they are that disproportionately large, there isn't anything you can do to hide them (even t-shirts "show them off"). It absolutely infuriates me that there are WOMEN on a FEMINIST site judging and blaming other women for their large breasts or for "showing them off". If anything, women should be supportive of other's feelings and bodies and least of all, refrain from judgment.

I used to be a 36DDD prior to a breast reduction surgery. I had been considering this surgery for years but was never really serious until I learned that people used to refer to me as "big boobs jac" and such. I mean, I put up with the comments from guys and girls, strangers and friends, for years. And I put up with never finding clothes that fit properly and I gave up wearing dresses all together, not to mention gave up running. But when I found out that not only was I having to put up with all this to my face, but that I had these demeaning nicknames from guy friends, I had had enough. I felt I had literally been reduced to nothing but my breasts and I was not ok with that. I remember talking to my parents about it, and my mom crying and saying, "I want people to think about your smile when they think about you, not your boobs." So yea, I had a reduction 3 years ago and it was the best decision I ever made. I became even more aware of how much people had been looking at my boobs after I had the surgery, because for the first time I suddenly noticed people actually looking me in the eyes and at my face and it felt good. I never realized how bad it even was until I didn't have to put up with it anymore.

Nobody should ever have to put up with rude comments about their breasts (or any other aspect of their body), and nobody (especially women!) should judge another woman for showing her breasts; when they are that disproportionately large, there isn't anything you can do to hide them (even t-shirts "show them off"). It absolutely infuriates me that there are WOMEN on a FEMINIST site judging and blaming other women for their large breasts or for "showing them off". If anything, women should be supportive of other's feelings and bodies and least of all, refrain from judgment.

I used to be a 36DDD prior to a breast reduction surgery. I had been considering this surgery for years but was never really serious until I learned that people used to refer to me as "big boobs jac" and such. I mean, I put up with the comments from guys and girls, strangers and friends, for years. And I put up with never finding clothes that fit properly and I gave up wearing dresses all together, not to mention gave up running. But when I found out that not only was I having to put up with all this to my face, but that I had these demeaning nicknames from guy friends, I had had enough. I felt I had literally been reduced to nothing but my breasts and I was not ok with that. I remember talking to my parents about it, and my mom crying and saying, "I want people to think about your smile when they think about you, not your boobs." So yea, I had a reduction 3 years ago and it was the best decision I ever made. I became even more aware of how much people had been looking at my boobs after I had the surgery, because for the first time I suddenly noticed people actually looking me in the eyes and at my face and it felt good. I never realized how bad it even was until I didn't have to put up with it anymore.

Nobody should ever have to put up with rude comments about their breasts (or any other aspect of their body), and nobody (especially women!) should judge another woman for showing her breasts; when they are that disproportionately large, there isn't anything you can do to hide them (even t-shirts "show them off"). It absolutely infuriates me that there are WOMEN on a FEMINIST site judging and blaming other women for their large breasts or for "showing them off". If anything, women should be supportive of other's feelings and bodies and least of all, refrain from judgment.

Um...I love you. In a totally not creepy or online-stalker-ish way. :)

34G here, by the way. My size has rendered it impossible to find bras at all unless I go to expensive specialty stores or online. Figleaves.com is my new best friend because they have a decent return policy and are less expensive than, say, Linda the Bra Lady or the evil Intimacy.

By the way, I want it both ways. I want to be able to be proud of my boobs and flaunt them when I want to without receiving inappropriate comments.

Oh, and yes, comments do come about other body parts. I dared to venture out in a skirt and heels yesterday and was oh-so-kindly informed that my legs are "juicy." Thanks, creepy dude on 14th St. *eyeroll*

Um...I love you. In a totally not creepy or online-stalker-ish way. :)

34G here, by the way. My size has rendered it impossible to find bras at all unless I go to expensive specialty stores or online. Figleaves.com is my new best friend because they have a decent return policy and are less expensive than, say, Linda the Bra Lady or the evil Intimacy.

By the way, I want it both ways. I want to be able to be proud of my boobs and flaunt them when I want to without receiving inappropriate comments.

Oh, and yes, comments do come about other body parts. I dared to venture out in a skirt and heels yesterday and was oh-so-kindly informed that my legs are "juicy." Thanks, creepy dude on 14th St. *eyeroll*

B,

You are projecting as much, if not MORE than I am. I never said in my post that I think big boobs are disgusting, and yet you seem to be blaming me for the times you've heard women say that.

I said I was talking specifically about the women I KNOW who have big boobs, and that they talk about them and seem quite proud of them. I did not say that this applies to all large-chested women. My sister and my adult cousin, in particular, like to talk about how men like their breasts. My cousin used to talk about how her boyfriend was so glad to be with her because his ex had small breasts. My sister, in particular, likes to make fun of me for being small-busted.

I said that I don't know why people are so competitive and cruel, meaning ALL people, in general. I wasn't saying it's any one kind of woman who is competitive -I meant there are women of all sorts of body types who are competitive and cruel... I don't think ANY of it is good.

Lets face it. We are in a sexual culture and we are sexual beings. I do notice attractive men. I even notice what part of their bodies I find attractive. HOWEVER, never in a million years would I go up to them and feel the need to inform them of my thoughts. These thoughts don't overwhelm me and there are other things to talk about besides how yummy a particular man's behind is.

I expect the same in return. Yes, I have big boobs. I am 5 foot 3, 110 pounds with a very full D. They look even bigger because the rest of me is so small. Often, unless I have a turtleneck on, I have cleavage showing. I image that people notice this. Hell, I don't mind that people notice, BUT like I said before. Lets move on from it. I don't need to hear that you like my boobs. Good for you.

Too, while I imagine this might be something of a personal preference, I can say that I went through a period in my life as a teenager where I was considered very unattractive, in general, and then later a period where I was apparently attractive enough to warrant inappropriate, objectifying comments, and sometimes being asked out.

While I agree women shouldn't have to put up with either objectification or insults, and wouldn't, in a fair world, I honestly think the sexual objectification feels a lot better than simply being ignored or considered ugly.

But that is just in my experience.

If you're overly sensitive about people noticing your appearance, then it isn't your cleavage that invites debasing comments, it's insecurity.

"And even if I did wear low-cut shirts every single day, your argument puts all the responsibility of OTHER PEOPLE NOT MAKING INSULTING COMMENTS on me."

You do not have complete autonomy over who gets to treat like a brain in a jar and who gets to treat you like a sexual creature, some days the wires get crossed. Realize the comments were inspired by an effect you had on the person. Explain clearly and confidently that those comments are inappropriate and not appreciated.

If you're serious about this, be frank and direct. If you overreact or bite your tongue until you can post something vengeful, nobody is going to treat you differently.

Marcus,

You are a man.

Therefore, you do not know what it is like to deal with the prevalence of the comments directed towards women. Or the kind of reaction women often get for speaking out against said comments...

But thank you for your condescension. God knows women need men to tell them what to do *eyeroll*

when i was skinny, my life was hell.
at 12, i was wearing a 32FF.

seriously - i am 5'8", i weighed 125-130 through out high school. i looked like a fucking Barbie. and i was in every AP class, had a straight 4.0 (or higher, because some AP classes are on a 5. scale) and yet everyone, EVERYONE, made these comments ALL THE TIME about how i used my tits to get good grades..

because OBVIOUSLY a woman's intellegence is inverserly proportional to her cup size. didn't matter that i got perfect scores on every test, that i got a 1580 on my SATs, that i won a dozen scholorships - EVERYthing i got, i got because i had large breasts. at least, thats what everyone said.
also, everyone always talked about what a "slut" i was, because if i had large breasts i MUST be sleeping with everyone. (i had 1 boyfriend in my first highscool. moved for the last year, dated one guy for a bit, and that was it for high school lovelife)
after i was out of high school... i didn't go to college for another decade. i had started to believe everyone, i was afraid to go to college and find out that i WASN'T smart, that everyone had given me good grades because of my breasts (was there EVER a stupider fear? i KNOW how smart i am; i proved it BEFORE puberty). i decided i would gain 15 pounds, so i would look less like a Barbie.

of course, that meant that i gained like 80 pounds. but in the course of losing some of it (i now weigh 180, which is an ok weight, but i am shooting for 150)i went down to just a single F. everyone keeps asking me if i've had breast reduction surgery. ??? if i had, i would be a C, not an F.

some years ago, i was at a club, talking to a girl who had had the reduction surgery. a guy had been eavesdropping, and decided to come over and A)tell the woman that she was "evil" for getting the reduction and "destroying the body God gave her", and B) that *I* should not get it, breast were beautiful! i said "well, what about your girlfriend?" he said she had the most beautiful breasts, even if they were only a D cup. i said "BUT, she had surgery to get them, those are implants, SHE destroyed the body God gave HER", at which point he got pissed and told me God intended ALL women to have large breasts, thats why humanity was *allowed* to do all that plastic surgery - to give women large breasts so that men can look at them.
the whole thing was just fucked up. this guy, whom i BARELY knew, was casting MORAL JUDGEMENTS based on whether or not people were getting breast reductions or breast implants.

the. FUCK.

i haven't gotten a reduction because i have had too many surgeries, i am afraid of having another. that is the only reason aside from money.

i would KILL for just a D cup.

because i am sick of people assuming my accomplishments happen soley because of my breasts. its beyond insulting.

From about 14 on I've been hearing these comments, and it is so embarrassing. One time I dressed up at Halloween for work (customer service at a grocery store) and while I was doing bottle returns for 3 or 4 college guys my 'friend' and coworker comes up and says HOLY BAJEBUS you have be boobs! Thanks. I just blushed and continued to do my work. For awhile I was hearing at least 2 comments every day about them no matter if I was around friends, coworkers, strangers, peers, family, etc.

I just want to add that you DO NOT need to be wearing a low cut shirt to get the comments. I in fact hide my boobs most of the time and STILL get a million comments.

A well-endowed friend of mine told me that for her, it's either wear a high-cut shirt and have itchy, sweaty cleavage, or wear a more low-cut shirt to be more comfortable but then also have everyone (male and female alike) "talking to her boobs." The reality for her is not "Gee, I feel like having lots of random people staring at/commenting on my boobs today, so I'll wear this low-cut shirt." The reality is "in which way would I prefer to to be uncomfortable today."
And the people commenting about still getting harrassment when, say, wearing a turtleneck, says a lot about the true motivation of such harrassment, even when people protest "oh I meant it as a compliment."
Kind of like when a woman is raped, her clothing choices are dissected with no recognition of the fact that you can be in a burqa and be raped...you can be in your own home with the doors locked and be raped. It's not about men being uncontrollable, it's about them choosing not to control themselves.

I apologize to Phoebe everyone who my original comment offended. It was completely wrong, inappropriate, and out of line. I'm an A-cup so I have a hard time having sympathy for women with large breasts because society tells me that YOU'RE how I should be... but the grass is always greener, eh? Anywho, nobody has any right making a comment about your breasts - especially not other women who claim to be feminists, so I'm really sorry for that.

I hope some of you actually see this comment, I know it was from a week or so ago and is pushed a few pages down in the community already.

For those of you that need a reminder, part of this oppression is the patriarchy's promise to women that if we are good girls (the terms of this agreement may change at any time) we will not be humiliated, beaten, or raped as much as the bad ones. Many of you just upheld that promise here in the comments.

I want to comment on this discussion. I am 54 years old, workout at the gym and have a body that many 30-year-olds would envy, I am not ashamed of that. I have large breasts and have dealt with leering and ogling my entire life. I dress in good taste and very conservatively, I've never done anything to draw attention to myself. I've become used to having men "talk to my chest" but recently a female co-worker has begun zeroing in on my assets and giving me up and down leers when I arrive at work in the morning; truthfully, it makes my flesh crawl. This is my body and I don't care if you are envious or just what you are thinking when you look at me in that way, deal with it. I have a male manager and finally spoke to him about how uncomfortable it was making me feel. Guess what? This is considered harassment and at my place of employment it's a dismissible offense. Don't assume that well-endowed women enjoy the attention because most of us don't. Think about how having someone make comments and leer at certain parts of your body would make you feel. Everyone needs to be treated with respect, get over it.