Ok, so I just really need to get this off my chest..... Friday Feminist Fuck You to Sexist Teachers!
My teacher today in class honesty just told a girl, "You go and get a high education and then marry a man and you can get the house you want." WHAT THE FUCK?
When I protested against the latter part of his statement he jokingly replied, "Oh Lucy, dont get mad, you know, you know." He was not just trying to pull my chain, he was totally sincere and was then trying to joke it off with me like a laugh and a warm smile could change the fact that he just insulted me on almost every level.
I understand that this teacher is from Nigeria and there is a different set of social norms, and I understand that the gal he was talking to plans on getting her MRS degree and wants to be a stay at home mother (disclaimer, there is nothing wrong with being a stay at home parent, but she does not need see the need to have any independent skills either-one husband away from welfare). Their situation is still not an excuse for assuming that I cannot get a house or financial security without a male spouse.
In my still pissed off stage.... Fuck you sexist teacher. You are supposed to be a guiding light for youth, thanks for not supporting me.
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You're absolutely right to be outraged - Nigerian or not, your teacher was putting out a medieval idea that women should be perpetually economically dependent on men - dependent on their father as a child, and on a husband as an adult.
He should have advised that woman to go to college, build up a good credit rating by avoiding those easy credit card scams that banks try and push onto college students, get a good job and then BUY HER DREAM HOUSE FOR HERSELF.
I've always felt it's tragic that there are adult women who've never owned any property of their own, do not have their own investments, have never signed a lease in their own name and, in some cases, have never actually had their own bank account.
Those are all major milestones of personal financial independence that pretty much every man will pass in his life - but there are still women who never get to be their own person moneywise, and spend their life as a dependent.
And, indeed, those women are all "one husband away from welfare".
I'd also challenge your friend's "ambition" to be an unemployed homemaker.
I think it's medieval for an adult woman to be totally dependent on a man's income, and it's sad that it's still socially acceptable for a woman to have the "ambition" to be totally financially dependent on some guy.
Imagine if one of your male friends said his "ambition" was to be permanently jobless, spending the rest of his life living in his parent's house?
Would any of your friends, or your teachers, approve of that "ambition"?
In a real way, being a full time homemaker is the female equivalent of that.
I happen to feel that it's not OK for an able bodied adult to be economically dependent on another able bodied adult - everybody should have their own personal source of income, be it a job, or a business or some other income generating activity that is solely and exclusively for their benefit.
Being economically dependent on a man is very non self-protective. What happens if he leaves? Or he dies? Or he decides to start using you as his own personal punching bag?
Why would any young woman in her right mind want to be a full time homemaker in this day and age?
i think many women would consider staying at home a job, and doesn't qualify as jobless. and staying in a home where they are partners is quite different from living at their parents home.
to the OP, I don't see why you were offended when he wasn't talking to you or to women generally and his statement reflected the feelings of the lady in question. if it is her ambition, why is it offensive that the teacher voiced it? did you tell the girl her ambition insults your every being? anyway, i don't think him being nigerian had anything to do with it? was the gal in question, likewise nigerian?
As a woman who's been unemployed for months and has lowered my standards to house cleaning, canvassing in the rain and jobs less than my dream, seeing more and more job posts on Craigslist in Washington State just like this Maine one, it makes me furious! Is it just the summer up north that make bikini and pastie coffee shops and car washes (which require full body pics to apply)so appealing? No one wants to be sprayed with boiling coffee or oogled at by trogladytes... but in this economy women will debase bedroom furniture themselves for good tips. It is not empowering to have managers judge prospective employers on age, weight and cup size.