I decided to take a quick NYtimes break.
I start with the US section, bounce over to International and almost always end up in health for the long haul.
Today a book review caught my eye .
A book review in the health section?
Sounds interesting.
And it is.
The book is all about periods.
The female kind, not the punctuation.
A young female writer compiled 90+ stories about how women felt the first time.
She very creatively named it "The Little Red Book" (and I'm only 1/2 mocking).
The book sounds interesting.
The reviewer,however, seriously annoyed me.
The sad thing is, she had good intentions.
She used the word menstruation without verbally flinching (it is possible) and shared some of the funnier anecdotes from the book.
She seems to like the idea.
Unfortunately, she also seems to buy into the idea that getting your period is yucky.
And that men don't want to understand.
Case in point:
"Reasoning that every lonely soul wandering through Walgreens has a story to tell, she [the author] was inspired to assemble a collection of 92 short reflections by women on the subject of their first period.
At this point, male readers may want to go outside and toss a ball around for a while. No matter how sympathetic, how curious or how deeply interested in life’s little yuck factors you are, this collection is unlikely to hold more than the mildest intellectual appeal for you ."
See what I mean?
She started so strong! And then boom..gender norming galore, and some feminine shaming thrown in for good measure.
OF COURSE men won't want to read the book if you tell them that it's unlikely to hold much appeal for them. Also, I'm not sure that some of the most important men in my life (including father, brother and boyfriend) would feel the need to regain their foothold in the world of manliness & masculinity by 'tossing around a ball.' If they didn't want to read a book about periods, they are much more likely to go read a classic or theorize about politics (brother), iron while listening to opera (dad), or throw a few bowls on the pottery wheel (boyfriend). Excuse them for not wanting to play in the yard.
And of course, can't forget that the reviewer called getting your period 'one of life's little yuck factors.'
Maybe it's yucky, or maybe it's an empowering reminder of the life cycle. I won't get all hippy chick, but really..calling it 'yucky?' Is that really necessary?
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I find mine somewhat annoying, to be honest, but it's a natural bodily function and certainly not something we should hide at all costs or be ashamed of. Back when I was in high school and during my undergrad years, I noticed a lot of my male friends would completely freak out at even the tiniest reference to the subject. At first, I didn't really know how to deal with that, but eventually I realized they'd have to get over it if they ever actually planned to live with a female partner, and started pointing that out.
In my opinion, going apeshit or running away at the slightest mention of the female menstrual cycle is one mark of an emotionally immature male. They don't have to be in awe of it, but they should be able to accept the fact that it happens as part of life.
I totally agree. I wish I didn't have to be bothered by it, and I sure as shit won't be dancing in welcome every month, but we all need to get over the embarrassment of heading through the checkout with a Kotex box. And hey, commercials? If the person in the checkout is a dude, my stance doesn't change.
I've been seeing a guy for a few weeks now, and last weekend after watching a movie he turned to me and went, "Hey, when are you going to get your period?" Then he started talking about what he's noticed about the length of my cycle. o_O Thoughts on THAT, Abigail Zuger?
While I agree with your criticism of the guys-might-want-to-step-outside bit of the review, I must admit that it's a pet peeve of mine to be told that viewing one's period as yucky or unpleasant is somehow un-feminist.
I don't like my period. I get cramps. My start times are unpredictable. My flow is heavy. I ruin at least one pair of underwear each cycle. It lasts for several days and is sticky and gooey and, well, yucky. That doesn't mean it's bad or anything. It's obviously a natural process. And I certainly don't wish to denigrate women who rejoice in or are empowered by their periods.
Yet I look at my period like I look at the rest of my bodily functions-- I shit, I salivate, I pee, I sweat. Secretions are, as a general rule, kind of gross to me. Of course, I don't get embarrassed buying some pads or anything (much like one shouldn't be embarrassed to buy toilet paper or deoderant), but writings celebrating menstruation leave me rather cold.
So my period's yucky. So is taking a dump. I see no reason that feeling this way is incompatible with being secure in one's body as a woman.
I agree. I don't think periods are gross, but in the end, isn't blood coming out of your body kind of icky? I mean, periods are dead tissue and blood and anything dirty that was in your vagina. Vomit is gross, feces are gross, urine is gross. They all come from our bodies.
Granted I'm more likely to touch my dead vagina tissue than vomit, as is my boyfriend.
I do think that certain teenage guys need to be less contradictory, though. You can't look at a gushing arm and think 'cool,' while hearing about a period and thinking 'ewww gross.' It's just ridiculous.
I think my period is yucky too...
I think the general movement of "don't be ashamed of your period" is good, but writing a whole book about "woo hoo! periods!" is really over-kill to me.
Though I did see a book at the bookstore last week about decoding your poops, so I guess its about time there was a big book of periods. :)
Agree, leshaschika.
Not that periods are 'euw icky gross' and something to be ashamed of, but celebrating them? No, thank you.
They just...are.
Not bad, nothing to celebrate.
And yes about the underwear :-( this may be influenced by the fact I have just done that.
And yes about unpredictable timing too.
And came on JUST before a meeting at work last month, having to run out to the shops to buy the necessary products, and being late for meeting. What was I going to say to the boss, it's either be on time and bleed all over the seat, or be 5 mins late?!
GRRRRR.